i dont know if you missed the memo
Well you see i dont know if you missed the memo or something..........but im in love with you......I mean i typed it in cool font and everything.
anyways,
i didnt do anything all weekend except work. i have been sick and its lame as hell. but im startin to get better...i think? I took some medicine and im starting to feel better. I know me and medicine....what the hell i never take it. But i for some reason made an exception this time.
Things are starting to become more realistic. That YES this is my senior year and YES i need to start making some decisions. Like where im gonna go to college and what im for sure going to major in. Everytime i make a decision i second guess myself cuz no matter what theres someone behind me doubting me pulling me into a different direction. whether is someone at school, family, or friends. I have yet to order my cap and gown. and i have yet to get my senior pics done. Bahh i hate deadlines. Shits just starting to become to...REAL. and i cant do my whole im gonna push this to the side. Cuz i have already done that and now i have to deal with it and decide or im gonna end up doing nothing after highschool and i refuse to be one of those people. Theres nothing wrong with people like that but its just something i dont see myself as cuz i wouldnt be happy with my life that way and i would prolly be depressed all the time. Im going to do something with my life and make myself proud. Not do what my family wants and spend my whole life tryin to make them proud b/c no matter how hard i try i will never reach there expectations. So im going to do WHAT" I "need to do. and focus on what i want for once other then what others want for me like i have my whole life. Thats a big step for me.......now lets see how im going to handle this situation and see if i even make the right choice. DUhn duhn duhn.
and other then that whole realization,
another thing new was that i talked to brian who i havent talked to in what seems like ages. We suppose to go out to eat this week or weekend and catch up. Get to see emmie and ethan and then ride on his crotch rocket.Pretty excited cuz i miss that kid hella bad. He has basically watched me grow up since i was 15 and seen me mature. So it has to be weird for him to see me now im almost 18 years... thats 3 years thats a long ass time. haha.
k so yeah im going to bed... im fuckin tired as hell.
anyways,
i didnt do anything all weekend except work. i have been sick and its lame as hell. but im startin to get better...i think? I took some medicine and im starting to feel better. I know me and medicine....what the hell i never take it. But i for some reason made an exception this time.
Things are starting to become more realistic. That YES this is my senior year and YES i need to start making some decisions. Like where im gonna go to college and what im for sure going to major in. Everytime i make a decision i second guess myself cuz no matter what theres someone behind me doubting me pulling me into a different direction. whether is someone at school, family, or friends. I have yet to order my cap and gown. and i have yet to get my senior pics done. Bahh i hate deadlines. Shits just starting to become to...REAL. and i cant do my whole im gonna push this to the side. Cuz i have already done that and now i have to deal with it and decide or im gonna end up doing nothing after highschool and i refuse to be one of those people. Theres nothing wrong with people like that but its just something i dont see myself as cuz i wouldnt be happy with my life that way and i would prolly be depressed all the time. Im going to do something with my life and make myself proud. Not do what my family wants and spend my whole life tryin to make them proud b/c no matter how hard i try i will never reach there expectations. So im going to do WHAT" I "need to do. and focus on what i want for once other then what others want for me like i have my whole life. Thats a big step for me.......now lets see how im going to handle this situation and see if i even make the right choice. DUhn duhn duhn.
and other then that whole realization,
another thing new was that i talked to brian who i havent talked to in what seems like ages. We suppose to go out to eat this week or weekend and catch up. Get to see emmie and ethan and then ride on his crotch rocket.Pretty excited cuz i miss that kid hella bad. He has basically watched me grow up since i was 15 and seen me mature. So it has to be weird for him to see me now im almost 18 years... thats 3 years thats a long ass time. haha.
k so yeah im going to bed... im fuckin tired as hell.