free writing for english
It all began with a simple message sent to him over Myspace.com. I never message strangers on Myspace, but for some reason, he stuck out to me. We talked for months. And then we finally set up a meeting in real life. When he first walked up, I had a gut feeling that this wasn't just going to be a fun relationship. I knew it was going to be love. I guess you could call it "love at first sight" if you want. Anyways, April 27th, 2005, he was mine. And little did I know I was about to endure the most challening year and half I would ever experience, so far.
We began dating after a few times we had met each other in person. We instantly hit it off. He was everything I could have ever asked for, and more. We shared the same interests in music, clothing, and what we ate. It was great. I instantly knew I was going to fall in love with this guy, and sure enough I did. We were two crazy young kids in love. We spent everyday together, and always had a blast. Then, after a few monts, everything started to head down the wrong road.
We started having these little arguements early on. But, after having lived with my grandfather that yells at me about everything, it didn't really bother me that much. I get yelled at everyday by my grandfather, so him arguing with me wasn't any different. And, even though we fought, we always made up and were still happily in love. The fights started getting more intense, causing me to either cry, take him home without speaking to each other, and even hanging up on each other. But, because he couldn't stand to see me upset at him, he would call back or come over and appologize to me. I figured that's what you did. Every couple argues. What made us any different? Anyways, I brushed off most of the fights and continued with the relationship.
July 27th, 2005 was our three month anniversary. We went out to dinner that night, dressed up, and had an awesome evening. He spent the night at my house a lot, so I brought up the idea of sex, but as a joke of course. We began talking about it, and I realized that I wasn't kidding anymore. After dinner, he kept asking me if I was serious. And once he finally figured out I was, we decided to do it. I was a virgin. He wasn't. But I loved him so much that I was ready for it. We went to my house that night, and as we tried for the first time, I couldn't take the pain. I cried and said I was sorry. He never pressured me into anything I didn't want to do, which I'm very thankful for. Anyways, he just held me and let me know that it was okay and me not being ready wasn't anything to cry about. But after a day, I decided I would just suck up the pain and do it. July 28th, 2005 was the day I had lost my virginity.
After that, things were great. I mean, exeptionally great. Part of me still thinks that when he was "getting some" we weren't fighting as much. But the sex would only hold off the fighting for so long. He hasnever physically hurt me to this day, most of this fighting I talk about is just yelling and arguing. Anyways, we began to fight again. But this time, it started getting more and more intense. We started attacking each others character, and saying some pretty hurtful things. We would always make up, but the fighting never stopped.
I attended a Christian high school my entire four years of high school. We take a trip in the beginning of the school year to the moutains as a high school, to unify our school and "bring us closer to God". We call that Wilderness. So, as I was packing for WIlderness, I knew that me and Chris couldn't be together anymore. Something had been telling me this for quite some time now. And as much as I loved this boy, I knew that it couldn't keep happening. I went up there and I cried my eyes out in the chapels because I knew what I had to do when I got back down that mountain. All my friends had the same suspicions as I did about him, and they have been there since day one to help me out with moral support. If it wasn't for them, I would probably still be with him today. I came back home, and things were changing. We could both see the difference.
September 24th, 2005, we broke up. We mutually decided we needed to. I don't think I have ever cried that hard in my life. I was only 17, but my heart was completely broken. I didn't leave my house for a few days. I wouldn't eat anything for about two weeks. I was a mess. My friends were there every step of the way to cheer me up, make me laugh, and be a crying shoulder. I love my friends so much because they have really been there for me since that day.
A few days later, I recieved a phone call. It was Chris's ex-girlfriend Victoria. She informed me that he treats every girlfriend the same. But I knew that it was different with me. Me and Victoria became the best of friends, and we still are to this day. Along with meeting VIctoria, I met Kenny and Shaunay. Those two really helped me out by just talking and crying with me. I met a lot of people because of me and Chris breaking up. I started hanging out with his friend Jeremy while we were still dating, and I am still friends with him to this day as well.
I look back at what happened with me and Chris. I am not going to lie, I am still madly in love with him. Its been well over a year. I've dated other people and so has he. But in the back of my mind, it all came back to Chris. I tried looking for the same qualities Chris had. I stopped dating people because they weren't like Chris. And still, I compare every guy I talk to, to Chris. No one else is going to listen to rap music and think that they are black like me and Chris do. He is still a lot of what I want in a guy. I miss what we had terribly. But I realize that I can't go back to him unless he grows up and tries to do something with life. I saw him a few weeks ago. We hung out and drove around and just talked. But just as he was beginning to open up and be nice to me, he hardened his heart and became this tough shit asshole again. Excuse my french, but he is one of the biggest asshole's I have ever met, but for some reason, I like everything about him.
Even though he put me through a very traumatic year of life, and he still continued to be an asshole to me even after we had broken up, I am very thankful that Chris happened to me. If it wasn't for Chris, this past year of my life wouldn't have happened. I would have never be introduced to some of the most amazing people a girl could ever ask to be friends with. I would have never met some of the amazing guy friends I have made this past year. I would have still been stuck in this bubble with only a few friends that I could call. Because of Chris, I tried new things. I met people that encouraged me to try a lot of new things. Even though I take no pride in drinking, doing drugs, or having sex, I have learned a lot from doing all these things. I met a ton of amazing people that have truely been there for me through this tough year. And even though I have had a very rough past year and a half, I am thankful it has all happened to me. I have learned so much. I have experienced so much. I have tried new things, learned a lot of new things, and met a lot of people.
Even though I went through hell with Chris. I am glad it happened. Because without the drama, and the heartache, I would have never became the girl I am today. I am ten times stronger. I am ten times more independent. And most of all, I finally realize that I don't need anyone to tell me how to act. I'm not saying I can do whatever I want whenever I want, but I feel free. I don't let people take advantage of me anymore. I don't let people boss me around like I used to. I can stand on my own two feet. And even though I may still miss Chris terribly, I am ten times better off without him. Through the pain, it produced patience. Through the heartache and tragedy, I was blessed with some of the best friends in the world. And most of all, through this hell, I was made a stronger, more independent woman.
Thank you Christopher. Because of you, I'm a stronger person.
We began dating after a few times we had met each other in person. We instantly hit it off. He was everything I could have ever asked for, and more. We shared the same interests in music, clothing, and what we ate. It was great. I instantly knew I was going to fall in love with this guy, and sure enough I did. We were two crazy young kids in love. We spent everyday together, and always had a blast. Then, after a few monts, everything started to head down the wrong road.
We started having these little arguements early on. But, after having lived with my grandfather that yells at me about everything, it didn't really bother me that much. I get yelled at everyday by my grandfather, so him arguing with me wasn't any different. And, even though we fought, we always made up and were still happily in love. The fights started getting more intense, causing me to either cry, take him home without speaking to each other, and even hanging up on each other. But, because he couldn't stand to see me upset at him, he would call back or come over and appologize to me. I figured that's what you did. Every couple argues. What made us any different? Anyways, I brushed off most of the fights and continued with the relationship.
July 27th, 2005 was our three month anniversary. We went out to dinner that night, dressed up, and had an awesome evening. He spent the night at my house a lot, so I brought up the idea of sex, but as a joke of course. We began talking about it, and I realized that I wasn't kidding anymore. After dinner, he kept asking me if I was serious. And once he finally figured out I was, we decided to do it. I was a virgin. He wasn't. But I loved him so much that I was ready for it. We went to my house that night, and as we tried for the first time, I couldn't take the pain. I cried and said I was sorry. He never pressured me into anything I didn't want to do, which I'm very thankful for. Anyways, he just held me and let me know that it was okay and me not being ready wasn't anything to cry about. But after a day, I decided I would just suck up the pain and do it. July 28th, 2005 was the day I had lost my virginity.
After that, things were great. I mean, exeptionally great. Part of me still thinks that when he was "getting some" we weren't fighting as much. But the sex would only hold off the fighting for so long. He hasnever physically hurt me to this day, most of this fighting I talk about is just yelling and arguing. Anyways, we began to fight again. But this time, it started getting more and more intense. We started attacking each others character, and saying some pretty hurtful things. We would always make up, but the fighting never stopped.
I attended a Christian high school my entire four years of high school. We take a trip in the beginning of the school year to the moutains as a high school, to unify our school and "bring us closer to God". We call that Wilderness. So, as I was packing for WIlderness, I knew that me and Chris couldn't be together anymore. Something had been telling me this for quite some time now. And as much as I loved this boy, I knew that it couldn't keep happening. I went up there and I cried my eyes out in the chapels because I knew what I had to do when I got back down that mountain. All my friends had the same suspicions as I did about him, and they have been there since day one to help me out with moral support. If it wasn't for them, I would probably still be with him today. I came back home, and things were changing. We could both see the difference.
September 24th, 2005, we broke up. We mutually decided we needed to. I don't think I have ever cried that hard in my life. I was only 17, but my heart was completely broken. I didn't leave my house for a few days. I wouldn't eat anything for about two weeks. I was a mess. My friends were there every step of the way to cheer me up, make me laugh, and be a crying shoulder. I love my friends so much because they have really been there for me since that day.
A few days later, I recieved a phone call. It was Chris's ex-girlfriend Victoria. She informed me that he treats every girlfriend the same. But I knew that it was different with me. Me and Victoria became the best of friends, and we still are to this day. Along with meeting VIctoria, I met Kenny and Shaunay. Those two really helped me out by just talking and crying with me. I met a lot of people because of me and Chris breaking up. I started hanging out with his friend Jeremy while we were still dating, and I am still friends with him to this day as well.
I look back at what happened with me and Chris. I am not going to lie, I am still madly in love with him. Its been well over a year. I've dated other people and so has he. But in the back of my mind, it all came back to Chris. I tried looking for the same qualities Chris had. I stopped dating people because they weren't like Chris. And still, I compare every guy I talk to, to Chris. No one else is going to listen to rap music and think that they are black like me and Chris do. He is still a lot of what I want in a guy. I miss what we had terribly. But I realize that I can't go back to him unless he grows up and tries to do something with life. I saw him a few weeks ago. We hung out and drove around and just talked. But just as he was beginning to open up and be nice to me, he hardened his heart and became this tough shit asshole again. Excuse my french, but he is one of the biggest asshole's I have ever met, but for some reason, I like everything about him.
Even though he put me through a very traumatic year of life, and he still continued to be an asshole to me even after we had broken up, I am very thankful that Chris happened to me. If it wasn't for Chris, this past year of my life wouldn't have happened. I would have never be introduced to some of the most amazing people a girl could ever ask to be friends with. I would have never met some of the amazing guy friends I have made this past year. I would have still been stuck in this bubble with only a few friends that I could call. Because of Chris, I tried new things. I met people that encouraged me to try a lot of new things. Even though I take no pride in drinking, doing drugs, or having sex, I have learned a lot from doing all these things. I met a ton of amazing people that have truely been there for me through this tough year. And even though I have had a very rough past year and a half, I am thankful it has all happened to me. I have learned so much. I have experienced so much. I have tried new things, learned a lot of new things, and met a lot of people.
Even though I went through hell with Chris. I am glad it happened. Because without the drama, and the heartache, I would have never became the girl I am today. I am ten times stronger. I am ten times more independent. And most of all, I finally realize that I don't need anyone to tell me how to act. I'm not saying I can do whatever I want whenever I want, but I feel free. I don't let people take advantage of me anymore. I don't let people boss me around like I used to. I can stand on my own two feet. And even though I may still miss Chris terribly, I am ten times better off without him. Through the pain, it produced patience. Through the heartache and tragedy, I was blessed with some of the best friends in the world. And most of all, through this hell, I was made a stronger, more independent woman.
Thank you Christopher. Because of you, I'm a stronger person.