Uh oh, teal deer!
I was actually feeling shitty enough to call into work today. Luckily it was one of my shorter shifts this week, only about 4 hours, but still. I hate calling in. Especially when it's this sort of generic sickness, where I'm all, "Um, my head is throbbing and my body hurts so bad that I can't really move and I haven't been able to stay awake for much more than 45 minutes at a time." I always feel like I need something much more specific.
I especially hate calling in when I've only been there for a short amount of time. It was bad enough when I had to do it a month or so back, during that weekend where everything in my life went to shit in about twelve hour. (Speaking of - why do bad things always happen in groups? Has anybody else noticed this? There's a girl at work who's had, like, two family members get gravely ill and a close friend pass away unexpectedly, and I think Becky's going through the same thing, and man. If I believed in God, I would wonder if this was that 'testing" thing that he apparently does. If that's the case, I think...hmm, I think I probably passed. Sure, there's a bit of me that is still broken from all of it, but for the most part, it helped me grow up a bit, I think, and prompted the kind of self-analysis that is actually constructive. The most important thing I got out of it? Life [and all of its elements] is not black and white, it is wonderfully and painfully gray, and to think otherwise is naive. I also had a lot of people telling me - in no uncertain terms - what I should do, but I trusted myself enough to make my own decisions and stick with them, and, frankly, I'm pretty proud of myself for that. If I can be specific for a second, I have to mention that this is one of the things that I love most about my friendship with Becky. Both of us tend to give the same response to the other's dilemmas: "Here are my thoughts on the situation, but I'll support whatever you choose to do. Unless it gets out of hand, then I'll fuck someone up if I have to." That last part is more implicit. Anyway, in that period I questioned a lot about myself, a lot about the people in my life [and not just the people directly involved - I questioned a friendship or two as a result and, sadly, those are the ones that were found wanting. Not that I still don't love them, but they aren't exactly the kind of friends I thought they were], and a lot about life in general. Holy shit how did this get so long? It must be the "make me feel better, PLEASE" pills that I took about a half hour ago.) At this point, I can't remember where I was before my parenthetical rambling began. So, I'm going to go put in The Job, have some hot chocolate, and probably fall asleep.
Send me "feel better" and other such good thoughts.
P.S. I posted it on Myspace already, but read this.
I especially hate calling in when I've only been there for a short amount of time. It was bad enough when I had to do it a month or so back, during that weekend where everything in my life went to shit in about twelve hour. (Speaking of - why do bad things always happen in groups? Has anybody else noticed this? There's a girl at work who's had, like, two family members get gravely ill and a close friend pass away unexpectedly, and I think Becky's going through the same thing, and man. If I believed in God, I would wonder if this was that 'testing" thing that he apparently does. If that's the case, I think...hmm, I think I probably passed. Sure, there's a bit of me that is still broken from all of it, but for the most part, it helped me grow up a bit, I think, and prompted the kind of self-analysis that is actually constructive. The most important thing I got out of it? Life [and all of its elements] is not black and white, it is wonderfully and painfully gray, and to think otherwise is naive. I also had a lot of people telling me - in no uncertain terms - what I should do, but I trusted myself enough to make my own decisions and stick with them, and, frankly, I'm pretty proud of myself for that. If I can be specific for a second, I have to mention that this is one of the things that I love most about my friendship with Becky. Both of us tend to give the same response to the other's dilemmas: "Here are my thoughts on the situation, but I'll support whatever you choose to do. Unless it gets out of hand, then I'll fuck someone up if I have to." That last part is more implicit. Anyway, in that period I questioned a lot about myself, a lot about the people in my life [and not just the people directly involved - I questioned a friendship or two as a result and, sadly, those are the ones that were found wanting. Not that I still don't love them, but they aren't exactly the kind of friends I thought they were], and a lot about life in general. Holy shit how did this get so long? It must be the "make me feel better, PLEASE" pills that I took about a half hour ago.) At this point, I can't remember where I was before my parenthetical rambling began. So, I'm going to go put in The Job, have some hot chocolate, and probably fall asleep.
Send me "feel better" and other such good thoughts.
P.S. I posted it on Myspace already, but read this.