The Last Days of Magic and Glory Chapter #16
In this chapter, Thor tells Loki the secret of his heritage and Asgard goes to war.
Chapter 16: Blue Skin, White Masks
Thor awoke much later than anticipated. Night had fallen, but the moon was full and with the doors and windows flung open to allow them to monitor Sleipnir on the terrace, there was plenty of light to trace the long line of shadow that fell ominously across the bed from the figure hunched there in silent contemplation.
Loki sat perched at the foot of the bed. Moonlight made his pale skin glow ethereally, making Thor wonder if Loki’s strange otherworldly beauty and the way light seemed to sometimes not obey its own rules in his presence was a sign of his heritage, of whatever illusion allowed him to appear Aesir.
Loki’s eyes were dark, fathomless as he stared into the distance. He seemed to study Thor but simultaneously look beyond, caught in some eddy in the flow of the magic of the universe.
“It is time,” Loki whispered.
“How long have you been awake?”
“Long enough. I dozed but could not sleep. You, on the other hand, have slept almost until dawn.”
Thor smiled a little, remembering how thoroughly Loki had exhausted him. “You destroyed me, brother. It is no wonder I needed rest. But you should have woken me.”
“There are great changes afoot, Thor. As ruler, you will need this brief respite. Besides, you would not blame me for clinging to the illusion a little longer.”
Of course Thor did not blame him. He would have delayed this inevitable trial as long as he could.
“You spoke with mother about my heritage and now you must deliver the knowledge she has granted you,” Loki remarked. Though his voice feigned indifference, the pain and conflict in his eyes was clear.
Thor met Loki’s gaze for long moments, gathering the courage to speak.
“Your silence is answer enough, Thor. We are not brothers, as I suspected.”
Loki’s eyes shone like diamonds in the moonlight. He awaited Thor’s denial and Thor lamented that he could not provide it.
“You will always be my brother, Loki. We grew up together, played together, fought by each other’s sides for all the time I can remember existing. I don’t know if we are brothers or lovers or something else. But the fact that we are not related does not change how or how much I love you.”
Thor reached out, pulling Loki to him for a lingering kiss. He pretended he did not feel the damp brush of tears against his cheek, though he longed to wipe the tears away. He would not add wounded pride to the list of his brother’s many emotional injuries.
“Sentiment,” Loki pronounced, but he did not bother to elaborate on whether or not he found sentiment to be a positive quality.
Thor pulled himself out from beneath Loki in order to put on a pair of trousers and a tunic. He pulled open Loki’s borrowed drawer, noting that it now seemed to be magicked to contain the entirety of Loki’s wardrobe. He tossed his brother a tunic as well. He did not think he could have the rest of this conversation while naked. By the end of it they would both be stripped bare. Clothing would be a petty shield against the raw scrape of emotions that was to come.
Recognizing that Thor intended something more formal, Loki magicked a glowing white ball into existence. It brightened the room by intensifying the moonlight, lending their surroundings no warmth. Loki looked even more beautiful under its light. Even the dark bags beneath his eyes and the sad downward tilt of his mouth looked breathtaking to Thor.
He sat down next to Loki on the edge of the bed, clasping Loki’s cool hands in his. Was the cool drying of Loki’s skin also a fact of his heritage? “There is more.”
Loki nodded. Intelligent curiosity battled with pain and hesitance in his features.
“You were a foundling, but not of Asgard. Father found you in the palace after he defeated the frost giants in the last war. You were abandoned by your father, King Laufey.”
Thor squeezed Loki’s hands in support, but Loki’s body was stiff and tense all over. He looked away from Thor. There was such confusion and hurt in his expression that Thor wanted nothing more than to draw his brother into a warm embrace. But Loki needed to sort through the truth of the revelation before he could accept comfort.
“So I am one of these horrible, vile, evil creatures against whom you are so desperate to wage war? I am one of the monsters that parents teach their children to fear at night?” Loki hissed. He pulled away from Thor in order to stand and pace.
“No,” Thor insisted, infusing his voice with every scrap of persuasiveness he could find. “You are the same beautiful, clever, mischievous, sometimes misguided brother who has stood by my side for a thousand years. You may be Jotun of blood, but you were raised an Aesir.”
Loki paused in his pacing and Thor took the opportunity to stand and embrace him. Loki return the embrace for a moment, but when he pulled back, tears were flowing in earnest. “But I am not like other Aesir, Thor. I had always wondered at my difference. It is not simply my affinity for magic or my difference in physical abilities. There is a darkness in me,” Loki spat the confession as though it was being jerked out of him unwilling. “It is a sadistic impulse, a will to power. It has been a struggle to confine myself to simple pranks, when I would smite all those who stand against me. Though I have long despaired your skill at it, I have had to sabotage my own chances at ruling, though I suppose such efforts are now moot: father would not allow a Jotun to sit on the throne of Asgard. He has right to deny me, for I fear what I would do with such power.”
Thor frowned. He had never once feared himself. He feared what mistakes he might make out of ignorance, but he trusted himself to make decisions correctly to the best of his abilities. He had never once wavered in his conviction that he was a good man. “But if you are aware of this danger, surely you would be able to counter it.”
“It is not so simple. But I suppose it would be futile to expect you to understand the struggle of self-restraint, considering that you so rarely practice it.”
“I would trust you on the throne,” Thor replied, ignoring the insult. “And if you suffer from such fear, I would have you rule by my side.”
“And I suppose, knowing that you are making love to one of the creatures you hate so much is of no consequence to you?”
Thor shrugged, glad that he had taken Loki to bed before starting this conversation. Thor had always been better at speaking through actions than words. “I think my previous actions have said all there is to say on the subject.” Just in case Loki was not still convinced, he cupped Loki’s chin and kissed him once again.
Loki deepened the kiss, pushing Thor back onto the bed so that he was laying between Thor’s spread thighs. Loki pawed at Thor’s tunic, but as eager as Thor always was for Loki’s body and as much as he wanted to give Loki everything, this could not possibly be what Loki needed at the moment.
And surely enough, even after long moments of soft sensual kisses, Loki’s cheeks were still damp with tears and his sex still soft. He pulled back from kissing, burying his face in Thor’s chest with a frustrated huff. After Thor had a moment to calm his own arousal, Loki asked, “Why do you think he did it? Why did he not leave me to die?”
Thor didn’t think omitting his mother’s strange theories of objects with wills of their own qualified as a lie. Thor justified it by deciding that it was too ridiculous to mention. “I do not pretend to understand the machinations of the All-Father. I only know that I am glad that he brought you here.”
“You would have a Jotun snake in the House of Odin, threatening to usurp your own position?” The similarity to their mother’s words sent a chill down Thor’s spine.
“I prefer to see it as a boon. We are different in every way, puzzle pieces fitting so perfectly together that I refuse to believe that the Norns had no part in entangling the tendrils of our fates. I have physical strength and skill in battle and you are skilled in sorcery. I win the admiration of the citizenry with my guilelessness and you are so incredibly clever and skilled at politics. I am direct and confident but sometimes blind, while you see all in your scheming but sometimes lack true purpose to guide your machinations. We are perfect compliments, so much stronger together than we are apart. I cannot imagine why we would be made this way if not destined to rule as one.”
“We could be destined to be enemies,” Loki offered.
Thor laughed. He couldn’t help but place a kiss on the tip of Loki’s nose. “I could no more be your enemy than I could sprout wings and fly off into the sun.”
Loki laughed at the image, but once their laughter had faded, Loki still looked uncertain. Thor did not know what more he could say to convince Loki that the fact of his Jotun heritage changed nothing.
“I suppose to explains much,” Loki mused. “I do not have to fear some secret illness that will one day destroy me; the fevers must have been due to my body adjusting to these warm climes. And my affinity for ice magic makes much more sense now as does the fact that I am never cold. Then there’s the fertility. I feel less cursed by it now that I know it is natural and not some unlucky inheritance. And now I know that all of my efforts to win Father’s favor failed because I was inherently inferior in his eyes and not because I did not try hard enough.”
“Father loves you, Loki,” Thor insisted. “Mother too. He has always been stingy with his approval, but that does not reflect his love.”
“He holds affection for me, no doubt. But his love for me has never equalled his love for you.”
“He is more affectionate towards me because we share common interests and, yes, a common way of thinking. But he has always loved you. Remember how he worried he was during your fevers? I think he threatened to exile some of the healers if you did not recover.”
“Fear for losing his ill-gotten foundling to the very fact of his abduction, perhaps.”
“And how he made a decree that he would face any in battle who picked fun at your affinity for sorcery?”
“It is in the best interest of the crown to have control of a sorcerer as powerful as I.”
“And how from the first time I can remember he has told us both that we were born to be kings.”
“But only one can have the throne to Asgard.”
Thor poked Loki in the sensitive area above his hip. “Must you always be so stubborn? Accept that Father loves you. It is in his every glance, plain as day, if you only bother to look.”
Loki did not appear to be fully persuaded, but Thor did not have time to further convince him because suddenly they heard the soft bell that sounded when the door opened.
“Thor! Loki! I do not care if you are busy making dirty, incestuos love,” Sif shouted from the entry room. “I come bearing urgent news.”
“Is there a single person in this kingdom who does not have free access to your chambers?” Loki grumbled, rolling off of Thor with a huff.
“It is all your own fault for refusing to change the spellwork when I asked you to.”
Sif only spared an eyeroll for the unkempt bed and the disheveled state of Thor’s tunic and his hair, rather than waste time on her usual sarcastic comments. Thor looked over at Loki to find that he looked perfectly together - hair slicked back, dressed in his ceremonial armor, missing only the helmet. Even the tears and the dark bags under his eyes had been cleared. Of course Loki would not want to show weakness in front of Sif.
“The spymaster has returned,” Sif panted as she gathered her breath from running to them. “Ve was right, the old bastard. Laufey is raising the hill giants from their slumber.”
Thor’s blood boiled. He had shown admirable restraint waiting this long, but Laufey could not be allowed to amass more troops. He was flying in the face of the treaty and surely testing Thor’s resolve. If Asgard continued to watch passively while Laufey raised an army, Thor would not deserve the crown. No, Laufey needed to be taught his place. And if he needed to have the battlefield stained with his blood every millennium in order for him to remember it, Thor would be happy to oblige.
“He gathers an army!” Thor shouted. “This is surely an act of war. We cannot tolerate it. We must attack before Laufey can finish marshalling his troops.”
“You do not know that they are troops!” Sif pointed out. “Laufey could have some other purpose. Thor, you must send a diplomatic mission to Jotunheim. Find out from Laufey why he is doing this. Give him a chance to avoid war. It does not make sense for him to start this now after so many years of peace.”
“Why send a diplomatic mission when he already has a representative in you, Sif? Of course we strive for peace, but when war comes to use, we must face it bravely.”
“This is not bravery, Thor!” Sif exclaimed. “This is your lust for battle. You are but a tool practically made for war and thus to you every action looks like the perfect excuse for it. War is not to be taken lightly, especially not war with the Jotun. The Elders are right about one thing. You and I are too young to remember the last war with the Jotun. The Jotun were merciless and they needed to be stripped of all before they would submit. The scars of that war have healed, but there are those of us who still feel the cost. It took Odin’s eye. It took my mother’s first husband and broke her heart. It took most of Asgard’s resources and we shall not risk the stability of our kingdom on a folly. Only when diplomacy has failed should we consider war.”
“Sif, you are one of the fiercest warriors in the Realm, but you are weak of resolve,” Thor replied, burning with anger at Sif’s foolishness. “Perhaps I made a misstep, appointing a woman to the Warrior’s Council. You are too soft.”
Thor half expected the slap, but he did not retract his statement. He did not know why he had appointed Sif to the Council if she was only going to be a thorn in his side. Sif was supposed to be his ally, not fight him at every turn.
“The Jotun insult us at every opportunity. Laufey flaunts his defiance, knowing that we go to war reluctantly. We cannot allow for rebellion in the Realms. If we continue to accede to Laufey’s treaty breaches, what is to stop Alfheim and Misheim and even Midgard from rebelling? We cannot fight wars on all those fronts. We must make an example of Laufey - show the rest that Asgard is still strong. We know that we currently outmatch Laufey’s army, but we do not know how many Hill Giants lay slumbering. Laufey may be able to raise enough to breach our defenses.”
“And if he does? Laufey does not have the means to leave Jotunheim without the Casket of Ancient Winters. If we do not open the Bifrost, his army with starve itself in the empty nothingness of that wretched world. If Laufey intends war, he intends to fight it on Jotunheim where his people have the advantage of the ice. You will be delivering our warriors for his slaughter. Then all the Realms will know of the stupidity of our Prince and attack us while Odin still sleeps.”
“And if Laufey does find a way into Asgard?”
“Then we fight.” Sif turned to Loki, who had been sitting on the bed, staring at a spot just beyond Sif’s left shoulder. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “You have been incredibly quiet, Loki. Surely you agree with me that it is a strategic blunder to send warriors to Jotunheim where Laufey can fight them when they would be impotent if we simply left them alone.”
Loki rose slowly, still not meeting Sif’s eyes. His voice was low and steady, as if in a trance. “The Jotun are vile, bellicose creatures.” Thor wanted to protest out of consideration for Loki’s own heritage, but he could not do so without revealing the secret to Sif. “They are stubborn and easily wronged and Laufey is the stubbornest and most resentful of them all. He quests for a path into Asgard. He would have the Casket and would stop and nothing to get it.”
“But can he,” Sif pleaded. “You know it doesn’t matter how much he wants it if he has no way to come here.”
“There are passages between the realms that do not require the Bifrost. Such passages exist between Jotunheim and Asgard.”
“So he can!” Thor crowed.
“No,” Sif slapped at Thor impatiently. “It is possible, but Laufey can’t if he doesn’t know how to navigate the passages.” Sif frowned. “You said he quests for them. How do you know that?”
Loki grimaced, as though the secret was being tortured from him instead of flowing freely as a response to Sif’s most reasonable question. “I used such passages yesterday in order to gather more information.”
“You went to Jotunheim unprotected!” Thor shouted. The idea of Loki on that icy world all alone sent a lightning bolt of protectiveness through Thor. “You said you were in the library.”
Loki smirked viciously. “I lied.”
Thor breathed deeply, trying to control his anger. He was angered at Loki for lying and for putting himself in danger, but most of all for retreating from the sweet, open man who made love to Thor so earnestly. Would they never be beyond tricks and lies? Would he ever know the true workings of Loki’s mind? “You have had this ability to travel between worlds undetected and you never saw fit to tell me?”
Loki shrugged. “You did not need to know. I am telling you now, which should suffice.”
Thor wanted to rage, berate Loki for his insufferable smugness, for daring to hide such vital things about his life from Thor, but Sif interrupted. “And when you were there, what did you see?”
Loki finally stood, but his voice was no less subdued. It scared Thor, the calm with which he turned to Sif and said. “We will go to war with Jotunheim.”
Thor felt his breath was stolen from him in that moment. He hungered for war with the Jotun, against Laufey, who spit in the face of Thor’s authority. But he had expected Loki to hold him back. Only days ago, Loki had told Thor that he would seek a diplomatic solution personally before they went to war.
Sif, too, seemed surprised. “You were opposed to the idea of war. What have you seen that has changed your mind?” she demanded.
“Nothing, has changed my mind about the nature of the Jotun,” Loki replied coldly. “But I have realized that our army is strong and there are magics available to me, should I chose to fight, that shall make our victory almost assured. Send the warriors to Jotunheim and I will join you in a matter of days. We will finish this campaign before the All-Father awakes and bring the Jotun into line.”
Sif, too, was enraged, stepping up to Loki, tensed for a fight. “What is your game, trickster?”
Loki stepped away from her fluidly. “The only game is the victory of Asgard and our continued supremacy throughout the realms. But I put you on the Council, Sif, because your opinion has its own merits. You may argue your point and you may yet win.”
“You know that with Thor joining the Elder warriors in their warlust, I have no chance of arguing my point.”
“Perhaps should you learn to be more persuasive, then.” Loki turned to Thor, giving him a soft, lingering kiss on the lips. “Lay siege to the palace, even though the majority of Laufey’s warriors no longer reside there. I will join you in three days time.” And with that he turned, vanishing mid-step.
“Thor!” Sif exclaimed. “Did you see that?”
Thor shrugged. “Loki has long mastered powers of invisibility and elemental travel. He no doubt has preparations to make, as do we all.”
“I meant how he controls you. He gives us orders as though he were king!”
“Loki does not hunger for the throne, Sif. He is helping us. Can’t you see that?”
“No, he does not need to hunger for the throne while he has control over you. He pulls your strings like a pupetmaster. Is the promise of his flesh really so intoxicating that you abdicate your free will?”
“It has nothing to do with our status as lovers, Sif. Over the past year I have learned the hard way that my brother is much more skilled in these matters than I. He has been by my side my entire life and kept you safe from harm in many a battle. We must trust him.”
“And if this is a ploy to lure you into a misstep so large that the All-Father must remove you from succession?”
Thor could not reveal all the reasons why Loki would never be next in line for the throne. He certainly could not reveal Loki’s heartfelt confession that he feared his own power. Ironically, Loki agreed with Sif in this.
When Thor did not answer, Sif pressed onwards. “How do we know that he is not in league with Laufey? Loki is the only one we know of capable of traveling between the worlds without the Bifrost. The last place he should be is on Jotunheim, within Laufey’s grasp. And the last place we should send our warriors is into a battle we could easily avoid if we simply kept the source of his power here with us.”
“Watch your tongue, Sif. I will hear no more seditious words from you against your Prince. If you do not trust Loki, then trust me when I swear that Loki has only the best intentions of Asgard at heart.”
Thor would, however, keep in mind Sif’s warning of Loki being a desirable target for his ability to travel between worlds. Thor had no hope of keeping Loki safe in the palace if he wanted to fight, but he would not leave his side for a moment once he arrived on Jotunheim. Moreover, he had a feeling that Loki’s turmoil over his heritage had not yet been resolved. He would need Thor’s support, now more than ever, since they were fighting a war against his people.
Sif’s rebellion had not quieted, but she looked resigned now instead of angry.
“Now, return to your home and ready yourself for war,” Thor ordered. He knew that despite their disagreements, Sif would fight loyally by his side and Loki’s once they were immersed in battle. “I will call the Council to meet at first light and we will be in Jotunheim before the day is done.”
Sif pressed her fist to her breast and gave a slight bow, not as deep as her usual. “Yes, my prince.”
The Epilogue
***
A/N: My apologies to Frantz Fannon for co-opting the title of his legitimate academic work on racial psychology for the title of a chapter in an incestuous slash fanfiction. I lost my first version of this Chapter because googledocs sucks and cannot be trusted to not lose 5,000 words of good fic. I'm afraid that this version may be inferior. The problem is that I remember all the good lines are character beats from the first version but not how I strung them together, so the conversation flows much less naturally in this version. I will post the first version if I can find a way to recover it.
Chapter 16: Blue Skin, White Masks
Thor awoke much later than anticipated. Night had fallen, but the moon was full and with the doors and windows flung open to allow them to monitor Sleipnir on the terrace, there was plenty of light to trace the long line of shadow that fell ominously across the bed from the figure hunched there in silent contemplation.
Loki sat perched at the foot of the bed. Moonlight made his pale skin glow ethereally, making Thor wonder if Loki’s strange otherworldly beauty and the way light seemed to sometimes not obey its own rules in his presence was a sign of his heritage, of whatever illusion allowed him to appear Aesir.
Loki’s eyes were dark, fathomless as he stared into the distance. He seemed to study Thor but simultaneously look beyond, caught in some eddy in the flow of the magic of the universe.
“It is time,” Loki whispered.
“How long have you been awake?”
“Long enough. I dozed but could not sleep. You, on the other hand, have slept almost until dawn.”
Thor smiled a little, remembering how thoroughly Loki had exhausted him. “You destroyed me, brother. It is no wonder I needed rest. But you should have woken me.”
“There are great changes afoot, Thor. As ruler, you will need this brief respite. Besides, you would not blame me for clinging to the illusion a little longer.”
Of course Thor did not blame him. He would have delayed this inevitable trial as long as he could.
“You spoke with mother about my heritage and now you must deliver the knowledge she has granted you,” Loki remarked. Though his voice feigned indifference, the pain and conflict in his eyes was clear.
Thor met Loki’s gaze for long moments, gathering the courage to speak.
“Your silence is answer enough, Thor. We are not brothers, as I suspected.”
Loki’s eyes shone like diamonds in the moonlight. He awaited Thor’s denial and Thor lamented that he could not provide it.
“You will always be my brother, Loki. We grew up together, played together, fought by each other’s sides for all the time I can remember existing. I don’t know if we are brothers or lovers or something else. But the fact that we are not related does not change how or how much I love you.”
Thor reached out, pulling Loki to him for a lingering kiss. He pretended he did not feel the damp brush of tears against his cheek, though he longed to wipe the tears away. He would not add wounded pride to the list of his brother’s many emotional injuries.
“Sentiment,” Loki pronounced, but he did not bother to elaborate on whether or not he found sentiment to be a positive quality.
Thor pulled himself out from beneath Loki in order to put on a pair of trousers and a tunic. He pulled open Loki’s borrowed drawer, noting that it now seemed to be magicked to contain the entirety of Loki’s wardrobe. He tossed his brother a tunic as well. He did not think he could have the rest of this conversation while naked. By the end of it they would both be stripped bare. Clothing would be a petty shield against the raw scrape of emotions that was to come.
Recognizing that Thor intended something more formal, Loki magicked a glowing white ball into existence. It brightened the room by intensifying the moonlight, lending their surroundings no warmth. Loki looked even more beautiful under its light. Even the dark bags beneath his eyes and the sad downward tilt of his mouth looked breathtaking to Thor.
He sat down next to Loki on the edge of the bed, clasping Loki’s cool hands in his. Was the cool drying of Loki’s skin also a fact of his heritage? “There is more.”
Loki nodded. Intelligent curiosity battled with pain and hesitance in his features.
“You were a foundling, but not of Asgard. Father found you in the palace after he defeated the frost giants in the last war. You were abandoned by your father, King Laufey.”
Thor squeezed Loki’s hands in support, but Loki’s body was stiff and tense all over. He looked away from Thor. There was such confusion and hurt in his expression that Thor wanted nothing more than to draw his brother into a warm embrace. But Loki needed to sort through the truth of the revelation before he could accept comfort.
“So I am one of these horrible, vile, evil creatures against whom you are so desperate to wage war? I am one of the monsters that parents teach their children to fear at night?” Loki hissed. He pulled away from Thor in order to stand and pace.
“No,” Thor insisted, infusing his voice with every scrap of persuasiveness he could find. “You are the same beautiful, clever, mischievous, sometimes misguided brother who has stood by my side for a thousand years. You may be Jotun of blood, but you were raised an Aesir.”
Loki paused in his pacing and Thor took the opportunity to stand and embrace him. Loki return the embrace for a moment, but when he pulled back, tears were flowing in earnest. “But I am not like other Aesir, Thor. I had always wondered at my difference. It is not simply my affinity for magic or my difference in physical abilities. There is a darkness in me,” Loki spat the confession as though it was being jerked out of him unwilling. “It is a sadistic impulse, a will to power. It has been a struggle to confine myself to simple pranks, when I would smite all those who stand against me. Though I have long despaired your skill at it, I have had to sabotage my own chances at ruling, though I suppose such efforts are now moot: father would not allow a Jotun to sit on the throne of Asgard. He has right to deny me, for I fear what I would do with such power.”
Thor frowned. He had never once feared himself. He feared what mistakes he might make out of ignorance, but he trusted himself to make decisions correctly to the best of his abilities. He had never once wavered in his conviction that he was a good man. “But if you are aware of this danger, surely you would be able to counter it.”
“It is not so simple. But I suppose it would be futile to expect you to understand the struggle of self-restraint, considering that you so rarely practice it.”
“I would trust you on the throne,” Thor replied, ignoring the insult. “And if you suffer from such fear, I would have you rule by my side.”
“And I suppose, knowing that you are making love to one of the creatures you hate so much is of no consequence to you?”
Thor shrugged, glad that he had taken Loki to bed before starting this conversation. Thor had always been better at speaking through actions than words. “I think my previous actions have said all there is to say on the subject.” Just in case Loki was not still convinced, he cupped Loki’s chin and kissed him once again.
Loki deepened the kiss, pushing Thor back onto the bed so that he was laying between Thor’s spread thighs. Loki pawed at Thor’s tunic, but as eager as Thor always was for Loki’s body and as much as he wanted to give Loki everything, this could not possibly be what Loki needed at the moment.
And surely enough, even after long moments of soft sensual kisses, Loki’s cheeks were still damp with tears and his sex still soft. He pulled back from kissing, burying his face in Thor’s chest with a frustrated huff. After Thor had a moment to calm his own arousal, Loki asked, “Why do you think he did it? Why did he not leave me to die?”
Thor didn’t think omitting his mother’s strange theories of objects with wills of their own qualified as a lie. Thor justified it by deciding that it was too ridiculous to mention. “I do not pretend to understand the machinations of the All-Father. I only know that I am glad that he brought you here.”
“You would have a Jotun snake in the House of Odin, threatening to usurp your own position?” The similarity to their mother’s words sent a chill down Thor’s spine.
“I prefer to see it as a boon. We are different in every way, puzzle pieces fitting so perfectly together that I refuse to believe that the Norns had no part in entangling the tendrils of our fates. I have physical strength and skill in battle and you are skilled in sorcery. I win the admiration of the citizenry with my guilelessness and you are so incredibly clever and skilled at politics. I am direct and confident but sometimes blind, while you see all in your scheming but sometimes lack true purpose to guide your machinations. We are perfect compliments, so much stronger together than we are apart. I cannot imagine why we would be made this way if not destined to rule as one.”
“We could be destined to be enemies,” Loki offered.
Thor laughed. He couldn’t help but place a kiss on the tip of Loki’s nose. “I could no more be your enemy than I could sprout wings and fly off into the sun.”
Loki laughed at the image, but once their laughter had faded, Loki still looked uncertain. Thor did not know what more he could say to convince Loki that the fact of his Jotun heritage changed nothing.
“I suppose to explains much,” Loki mused. “I do not have to fear some secret illness that will one day destroy me; the fevers must have been due to my body adjusting to these warm climes. And my affinity for ice magic makes much more sense now as does the fact that I am never cold. Then there’s the fertility. I feel less cursed by it now that I know it is natural and not some unlucky inheritance. And now I know that all of my efforts to win Father’s favor failed because I was inherently inferior in his eyes and not because I did not try hard enough.”
“Father loves you, Loki,” Thor insisted. “Mother too. He has always been stingy with his approval, but that does not reflect his love.”
“He holds affection for me, no doubt. But his love for me has never equalled his love for you.”
“He is more affectionate towards me because we share common interests and, yes, a common way of thinking. But he has always loved you. Remember how he worried he was during your fevers? I think he threatened to exile some of the healers if you did not recover.”
“Fear for losing his ill-gotten foundling to the very fact of his abduction, perhaps.”
“And how he made a decree that he would face any in battle who picked fun at your affinity for sorcery?”
“It is in the best interest of the crown to have control of a sorcerer as powerful as I.”
“And how from the first time I can remember he has told us both that we were born to be kings.”
“But only one can have the throne to Asgard.”
Thor poked Loki in the sensitive area above his hip. “Must you always be so stubborn? Accept that Father loves you. It is in his every glance, plain as day, if you only bother to look.”
Loki did not appear to be fully persuaded, but Thor did not have time to further convince him because suddenly they heard the soft bell that sounded when the door opened.
“Thor! Loki! I do not care if you are busy making dirty, incestuos love,” Sif shouted from the entry room. “I come bearing urgent news.”
“Is there a single person in this kingdom who does not have free access to your chambers?” Loki grumbled, rolling off of Thor with a huff.
“It is all your own fault for refusing to change the spellwork when I asked you to.”
Sif only spared an eyeroll for the unkempt bed and the disheveled state of Thor’s tunic and his hair, rather than waste time on her usual sarcastic comments. Thor looked over at Loki to find that he looked perfectly together - hair slicked back, dressed in his ceremonial armor, missing only the helmet. Even the tears and the dark bags under his eyes had been cleared. Of course Loki would not want to show weakness in front of Sif.
“The spymaster has returned,” Sif panted as she gathered her breath from running to them. “Ve was right, the old bastard. Laufey is raising the hill giants from their slumber.”
Thor’s blood boiled. He had shown admirable restraint waiting this long, but Laufey could not be allowed to amass more troops. He was flying in the face of the treaty and surely testing Thor’s resolve. If Asgard continued to watch passively while Laufey raised an army, Thor would not deserve the crown. No, Laufey needed to be taught his place. And if he needed to have the battlefield stained with his blood every millennium in order for him to remember it, Thor would be happy to oblige.
“He gathers an army!” Thor shouted. “This is surely an act of war. We cannot tolerate it. We must attack before Laufey can finish marshalling his troops.”
“You do not know that they are troops!” Sif pointed out. “Laufey could have some other purpose. Thor, you must send a diplomatic mission to Jotunheim. Find out from Laufey why he is doing this. Give him a chance to avoid war. It does not make sense for him to start this now after so many years of peace.”
“Why send a diplomatic mission when he already has a representative in you, Sif? Of course we strive for peace, but when war comes to use, we must face it bravely.”
“This is not bravery, Thor!” Sif exclaimed. “This is your lust for battle. You are but a tool practically made for war and thus to you every action looks like the perfect excuse for it. War is not to be taken lightly, especially not war with the Jotun. The Elders are right about one thing. You and I are too young to remember the last war with the Jotun. The Jotun were merciless and they needed to be stripped of all before they would submit. The scars of that war have healed, but there are those of us who still feel the cost. It took Odin’s eye. It took my mother’s first husband and broke her heart. It took most of Asgard’s resources and we shall not risk the stability of our kingdom on a folly. Only when diplomacy has failed should we consider war.”
“Sif, you are one of the fiercest warriors in the Realm, but you are weak of resolve,” Thor replied, burning with anger at Sif’s foolishness. “Perhaps I made a misstep, appointing a woman to the Warrior’s Council. You are too soft.”
Thor half expected the slap, but he did not retract his statement. He did not know why he had appointed Sif to the Council if she was only going to be a thorn in his side. Sif was supposed to be his ally, not fight him at every turn.
“The Jotun insult us at every opportunity. Laufey flaunts his defiance, knowing that we go to war reluctantly. We cannot allow for rebellion in the Realms. If we continue to accede to Laufey’s treaty breaches, what is to stop Alfheim and Misheim and even Midgard from rebelling? We cannot fight wars on all those fronts. We must make an example of Laufey - show the rest that Asgard is still strong. We know that we currently outmatch Laufey’s army, but we do not know how many Hill Giants lay slumbering. Laufey may be able to raise enough to breach our defenses.”
“And if he does? Laufey does not have the means to leave Jotunheim without the Casket of Ancient Winters. If we do not open the Bifrost, his army with starve itself in the empty nothingness of that wretched world. If Laufey intends war, he intends to fight it on Jotunheim where his people have the advantage of the ice. You will be delivering our warriors for his slaughter. Then all the Realms will know of the stupidity of our Prince and attack us while Odin still sleeps.”
“And if Laufey does find a way into Asgard?”
“Then we fight.” Sif turned to Loki, who had been sitting on the bed, staring at a spot just beyond Sif’s left shoulder. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “You have been incredibly quiet, Loki. Surely you agree with me that it is a strategic blunder to send warriors to Jotunheim where Laufey can fight them when they would be impotent if we simply left them alone.”
Loki rose slowly, still not meeting Sif’s eyes. His voice was low and steady, as if in a trance. “The Jotun are vile, bellicose creatures.” Thor wanted to protest out of consideration for Loki’s own heritage, but he could not do so without revealing the secret to Sif. “They are stubborn and easily wronged and Laufey is the stubbornest and most resentful of them all. He quests for a path into Asgard. He would have the Casket and would stop and nothing to get it.”
“But can he,” Sif pleaded. “You know it doesn’t matter how much he wants it if he has no way to come here.”
“There are passages between the realms that do not require the Bifrost. Such passages exist between Jotunheim and Asgard.”
“So he can!” Thor crowed.
“No,” Sif slapped at Thor impatiently. “It is possible, but Laufey can’t if he doesn’t know how to navigate the passages.” Sif frowned. “You said he quests for them. How do you know that?”
Loki grimaced, as though the secret was being tortured from him instead of flowing freely as a response to Sif’s most reasonable question. “I used such passages yesterday in order to gather more information.”
“You went to Jotunheim unprotected!” Thor shouted. The idea of Loki on that icy world all alone sent a lightning bolt of protectiveness through Thor. “You said you were in the library.”
Loki smirked viciously. “I lied.”
Thor breathed deeply, trying to control his anger. He was angered at Loki for lying and for putting himself in danger, but most of all for retreating from the sweet, open man who made love to Thor so earnestly. Would they never be beyond tricks and lies? Would he ever know the true workings of Loki’s mind? “You have had this ability to travel between worlds undetected and you never saw fit to tell me?”
Loki shrugged. “You did not need to know. I am telling you now, which should suffice.”
Thor wanted to rage, berate Loki for his insufferable smugness, for daring to hide such vital things about his life from Thor, but Sif interrupted. “And when you were there, what did you see?”
Loki finally stood, but his voice was no less subdued. It scared Thor, the calm with which he turned to Sif and said. “We will go to war with Jotunheim.”
Thor felt his breath was stolen from him in that moment. He hungered for war with the Jotun, against Laufey, who spit in the face of Thor’s authority. But he had expected Loki to hold him back. Only days ago, Loki had told Thor that he would seek a diplomatic solution personally before they went to war.
Sif, too, seemed surprised. “You were opposed to the idea of war. What have you seen that has changed your mind?” she demanded.
“Nothing, has changed my mind about the nature of the Jotun,” Loki replied coldly. “But I have realized that our army is strong and there are magics available to me, should I chose to fight, that shall make our victory almost assured. Send the warriors to Jotunheim and I will join you in a matter of days. We will finish this campaign before the All-Father awakes and bring the Jotun into line.”
Sif, too, was enraged, stepping up to Loki, tensed for a fight. “What is your game, trickster?”
Loki stepped away from her fluidly. “The only game is the victory of Asgard and our continued supremacy throughout the realms. But I put you on the Council, Sif, because your opinion has its own merits. You may argue your point and you may yet win.”
“You know that with Thor joining the Elder warriors in their warlust, I have no chance of arguing my point.”
“Perhaps should you learn to be more persuasive, then.” Loki turned to Thor, giving him a soft, lingering kiss on the lips. “Lay siege to the palace, even though the majority of Laufey’s warriors no longer reside there. I will join you in three days time.” And with that he turned, vanishing mid-step.
“Thor!” Sif exclaimed. “Did you see that?”
Thor shrugged. “Loki has long mastered powers of invisibility and elemental travel. He no doubt has preparations to make, as do we all.”
“I meant how he controls you. He gives us orders as though he were king!”
“Loki does not hunger for the throne, Sif. He is helping us. Can’t you see that?”
“No, he does not need to hunger for the throne while he has control over you. He pulls your strings like a pupetmaster. Is the promise of his flesh really so intoxicating that you abdicate your free will?”
“It has nothing to do with our status as lovers, Sif. Over the past year I have learned the hard way that my brother is much more skilled in these matters than I. He has been by my side my entire life and kept you safe from harm in many a battle. We must trust him.”
“And if this is a ploy to lure you into a misstep so large that the All-Father must remove you from succession?”
Thor could not reveal all the reasons why Loki would never be next in line for the throne. He certainly could not reveal Loki’s heartfelt confession that he feared his own power. Ironically, Loki agreed with Sif in this.
When Thor did not answer, Sif pressed onwards. “How do we know that he is not in league with Laufey? Loki is the only one we know of capable of traveling between the worlds without the Bifrost. The last place he should be is on Jotunheim, within Laufey’s grasp. And the last place we should send our warriors is into a battle we could easily avoid if we simply kept the source of his power here with us.”
“Watch your tongue, Sif. I will hear no more seditious words from you against your Prince. If you do not trust Loki, then trust me when I swear that Loki has only the best intentions of Asgard at heart.”
Thor would, however, keep in mind Sif’s warning of Loki being a desirable target for his ability to travel between worlds. Thor had no hope of keeping Loki safe in the palace if he wanted to fight, but he would not leave his side for a moment once he arrived on Jotunheim. Moreover, he had a feeling that Loki’s turmoil over his heritage had not yet been resolved. He would need Thor’s support, now more than ever, since they were fighting a war against his people.
Sif’s rebellion had not quieted, but she looked resigned now instead of angry.
“Now, return to your home and ready yourself for war,” Thor ordered. He knew that despite their disagreements, Sif would fight loyally by his side and Loki’s once they were immersed in battle. “I will call the Council to meet at first light and we will be in Jotunheim before the day is done.”
Sif pressed her fist to her breast and gave a slight bow, not as deep as her usual. “Yes, my prince.”
The Epilogue
***
A/N: My apologies to Frantz Fannon for co-opting the title of his legitimate academic work on racial psychology for the title of a chapter in an incestuous slash fanfiction. I lost my first version of this Chapter because googledocs sucks and cannot be trusted to not lose 5,000 words of good fic. I'm afraid that this version may be inferior. The problem is that I remember all the good lines are character beats from the first version but not how I strung them together, so the conversation flows much less naturally in this version. I will post the first version if I can find a way to recover it.