insight deluge
It seems at a certain point it becomes revealed to us what we will do, and there is something mystical and strange about it, something far beyond our control; and all that is really left us to do is to find the way of doing it-- the way of conceptualizing our life's work in our minds, the way we will present it to ourselves and other people, the goals to pursue within the framework of this chosen path--that we can accept, can reconcile with all the versions of ourselves that we ultimately choose not to become (or really I just mean "do not become"; I'm not seeing it right now as an autonomous decision) who must in some way be folded into the person we do become, and whose approval we must gain if we are to be not forever at war with ourselves.
What is so brilliant and terrifying about this time of my/our life/lives is that this process is happening to so many of our selves and the people we love and it's a beautfiul thing in many ways but also a sealing of fates, a closing of doors.
This in response most immediately to talking with B. about how he is coming to feel increasingly certain that he will make neurobiology his life- that he's simply too in love with it not to, that for once getting up and getting things done is not a strain; that he finds the subject endlessly fascinating. And what I hope that he can find a way to do is to stop hating this choice as bourgeois, either by finding a way to do it that isn't, or by accepting that good and valuable things can come out of things that are, by seeing in particular that the kind of deep neurobiological understanding of what we are that he is fundamentally in pursuit of (though of course only able to pursue in tiny ways as an individual) can be an invaluable underpinning to reaching vision for what need to happen to human society that is truly in line with what we really are; an underpinning that is seriously lacking in so many idealistic visions that have been had, including ( I think) ones he has in some way subscribed to.
I am experiencing powerful and intense leaps of insight this week; see if they hold or if they're just overenthusiastic delusions of understanding as most of the insights I've had in the past in my life have come to feel ultimately.
Another major insight this week was about the global justice movement, and how clear it seems that I will become a part of it even though negotiating the vast diversity within it will be unique kind of agony-but it's the kind I embrace, as shown by my drive to live in co-ops and work by consensus model with all sorts of people. From the preliminary examination of the movement I engaged in this week it seems like at it's best, holding to the stated principles and stripped of the--not sure quite what to call it-- radical/ideological/inflammatory rhetoric, the global justice movement's vision is at it's core exactly that which I've been groping towards since a very young age, certainly back to ninth grade when I first began to wrestle with the questions of how to have peace and prosperity without drowning diversity in crude American pop culture; and without losing the beauty of struggle from which all our greatest stories come, and in which all the noblest characteristics of humans are expressed. Also: how we should work to end the vast impoverished suffering of people aroudn the world and --God--a hundred other questions I've been struggling with ever since I can remember.
Also had some insights about my relationships with particular people.
And about how to work with and in some ways trust people who make up stories about themselves perpetually and present these as the truth of who they are.
And about the kind of religion/spirituality that makes sense to me.
it's too much
slow down
breathe, sleep
What is so brilliant and terrifying about this time of my/our life/lives is that this process is happening to so many of our selves and the people we love and it's a beautfiul thing in many ways but also a sealing of fates, a closing of doors.
This in response most immediately to talking with B. about how he is coming to feel increasingly certain that he will make neurobiology his life- that he's simply too in love with it not to, that for once getting up and getting things done is not a strain; that he finds the subject endlessly fascinating. And what I hope that he can find a way to do is to stop hating this choice as bourgeois, either by finding a way to do it that isn't, or by accepting that good and valuable things can come out of things that are, by seeing in particular that the kind of deep neurobiological understanding of what we are that he is fundamentally in pursuit of (though of course only able to pursue in tiny ways as an individual) can be an invaluable underpinning to reaching vision for what need to happen to human society that is truly in line with what we really are; an underpinning that is seriously lacking in so many idealistic visions that have been had, including ( I think) ones he has in some way subscribed to.
I am experiencing powerful and intense leaps of insight this week; see if they hold or if they're just overenthusiastic delusions of understanding as most of the insights I've had in the past in my life have come to feel ultimately.
Another major insight this week was about the global justice movement, and how clear it seems that I will become a part of it even though negotiating the vast diversity within it will be unique kind of agony-but it's the kind I embrace, as shown by my drive to live in co-ops and work by consensus model with all sorts of people. From the preliminary examination of the movement I engaged in this week it seems like at it's best, holding to the stated principles and stripped of the--not sure quite what to call it-- radical/ideological/inflammatory rhetoric, the global justice movement's vision is at it's core exactly that which I've been groping towards since a very young age, certainly back to ninth grade when I first began to wrestle with the questions of how to have peace and prosperity without drowning diversity in crude American pop culture; and without losing the beauty of struggle from which all our greatest stories come, and in which all the noblest characteristics of humans are expressed. Also: how we should work to end the vast impoverished suffering of people aroudn the world and --God--a hundred other questions I've been struggling with ever since I can remember.
Also had some insights about my relationships with particular people.
And about how to work with and in some ways trust people who make up stories about themselves perpetually and present these as the truth of who they are.
And about the kind of religion/spirituality that makes sense to me.
it's too much
slow down
breathe, sleep