Spring Fever
It is a beautiful, sunny day in April. We've had several of these lovely days in a row now. I've been able to get my garden bed built, and my seeds sown. Luckily for me, my 2 year old helped with the gardening, so my square foot garden plan has been chucked out the window as we get to see what seeds she strew, and where. To help with that, my 1 year old decided that the raised garden bed is a much better place to play than the sandbox.
But really, that isn't what I'm wanting to discuss today. Today, we are talking about spring fever. I have it. Bad. According to my husband, I get it every year. Or at least I've gotten a case every year he has known me.
In the last few days, I've wanted to
- have another baby
- open a yarn store
- open a quilt fabric store
- open a cloth diaper store
- write a novel
- move to a different city
- join and get very involved in a synagogue
- start our own egalitarian minyan
- go to rabbinical school
- just go back to school in general with no real goal in mind
- get a dog
Now, I love my life. I love my children. I don't really want to stop being a Stay at Home mom. It isn't practical anyway for me to stop. We'd have to find childcare. My husband works ungodly hours (70 last week alone). It looks like he'll be starting to travel a lot more for work in the very new future as well. I need to be here, to take care of the kids we've got. The last thing I need is a new baby thrown into the mix. Really.
I'm just bored.
I feel like I'm stagnating. My children are wonderful, but at 1 and 2 years old, they aren't great conversationalists. There are very few other SAHM's in my area. There is only so much Dinosaur Train and Curious George I can take.
Something is lacking from my life.
It could be my husband, considering the hours he puts in to work, but that isn't changing any time soon.
So for now, I brainstorm. I leap from topic to topic, and make myself crazy.
I suppose this Spring Fever will pass. What scares me the most though, is that I'm not sure I want it to.
