On the Holiday Season
For the most part, I hate it. It may seem that I am just pointing out all of the negatives but, being a pessimist, it is my duty.
First off, there is my problem with the 'giving, not receiving' aspect of the season. The only reason most people give is to see pass the time until they receive. Christmas has descended from a family togetherness holiday, to a consumer whore's societal requirement. Next, there is my family. My immediate family are the only ones I really give much of a damn about. I don't hate any of my extended family, I just fail to feel any kind of real connection with them. It is unfortunate how being with my family during holidays has become a chore.
It is the culmination of these things that makes me, well, bitter. I carry with me a memory of the holidays that, though initially it was joyous and warm and wonderful, now brings me heartache that will undoubtedly last me quite a long time.
This year, I feel more alienated than ever. But if I make any kind of complaint, even a slight displeasure, I'm chastised. Yet this doesn't stop the hypocrites around me from bitching their perfect little heads off. They try and correct my attitude, but can I do it to them? No, of course not.
Ok, I admit it, it's kind of shitty to not want to have anything to do with your extended family. But really, should I have to always act like I enjoy being outside of my comfort zone? I've tried to act as if I could hold a conversation with them, but it the end I don't know shit about them. I'm not too eager to find out, either.
This attitude of mine isn't just stemming from recent events within the past few months. I feel like this EVERY YEAR. Christmas makes me more and more weary every year, and if I didn't enjoy the feeling I get from giving gifts to my friends I don't think I would even celebrate. I hardly do in the first place any more.
When it comes right down to it, most of the time I would rather have my privacy then to force out social graces in order to perpetuate some semblance of 'holiday spirit'. Until the holiday spirit it truly back in Christmas, don't expect me to give much of a damn anymore. X_x
((I think the best part about Christmas is watching March of the Wooden Soldiers on the friggen WB or CW or PIX or whatever they call themselves today. By the way that's totally on tomorrow after the Yule Log...which is also conveniently available on DV-fucking-D.))
First off, there is my problem with the 'giving, not receiving' aspect of the season. The only reason most people give is to see pass the time until they receive. Christmas has descended from a family togetherness holiday, to a consumer whore's societal requirement. Next, there is my family. My immediate family are the only ones I really give much of a damn about. I don't hate any of my extended family, I just fail to feel any kind of real connection with them. It is unfortunate how being with my family during holidays has become a chore.
It is the culmination of these things that makes me, well, bitter. I carry with me a memory of the holidays that, though initially it was joyous and warm and wonderful, now brings me heartache that will undoubtedly last me quite a long time.
This year, I feel more alienated than ever. But if I make any kind of complaint, even a slight displeasure, I'm chastised. Yet this doesn't stop the hypocrites around me from bitching their perfect little heads off. They try and correct my attitude, but can I do it to them? No, of course not.
Ok, I admit it, it's kind of shitty to not want to have anything to do with your extended family. But really, should I have to always act like I enjoy being outside of my comfort zone? I've tried to act as if I could hold a conversation with them, but it the end I don't know shit about them. I'm not too eager to find out, either.
This attitude of mine isn't just stemming from recent events within the past few months. I feel like this EVERY YEAR. Christmas makes me more and more weary every year, and if I didn't enjoy the feeling I get from giving gifts to my friends I don't think I would even celebrate. I hardly do in the first place any more.
When it comes right down to it, most of the time I would rather have my privacy then to force out social graces in order to perpetuate some semblance of 'holiday spirit'. Until the holiday spirit it truly back in Christmas, don't expect me to give much of a damn anymore. X_x
((I think the best part about Christmas is watching March of the Wooden Soldiers on the friggen WB or CW or PIX or whatever they call themselves today. By the way that's totally on tomorrow after the Yule Log...which is also conveniently available on DV-fucking-D.))