He just doesn't get it
So last night was interesting. I found out that I was dating someone where I thought we were casually getting to know each other over coffee. I also did explain my system of commitment i.e. coffee does not equal the next step in relationship commitment after acquaintance. I should’ve known that he wasn’t going to listen. So! We called it off (after I called him selfish, and implied stupidity). I love me.
The situation that lead to the argument was this; He was over at my house on Sunday (I’ve known the guy for two weeks, thus he didn’t listen to my I DON’T COMMIT MYSELF TO ANYONE IN UNDER A MONTH OF ACQUAINTENCE) to watch a dvd. Towards the end of the film, he came over and sat behind me. First wrong move. He then tried rubbing my crotch. Second bad move. He says ‘Oh my god I’m so horny my balls hurt’. I didn’t say a word. I didn’t get hard either. In confusion, he rubbed my crotch harder and harder until it began to hurt. I pulled his hands away, but the shit kept on sliding them down there, eventually trying to unzip my fly. I kept on pulling his hands back. So! He asks ‘What’s wrong? Don’t you like me?’ From then I didn’t, but I told him that I’d rather we took it more slowly (he was over at mine to watch a dvd and crash. I made that perfectly clear). So then I get up to get a glass of water, offering him one. He tried to pull me into him, and it took three attempts until I finally made it out of the lounge room. I should not have gone back.
After him pulling me into him, putting my hand on his cock, I suggested bed. I offered the spare bed, or my bed. If he chose my bed, I was going to take the spare bed. However, he chose my bed and pulled me in, pushing me onto the bed. After waiting until he’d finished making out with me, I got undressed and got into bed, as did he. I bid him goodnight and rolled over. So what does he do? He starts trying to grab my crotch. I just maneuvered myself so that he couldn’t. So he asks again ‘What’s wrong? Don’t you like me?’ Here’s an exerpt from the dialogue (the rest is him asking me if it's him, or what's wrong);
‘Nothing. I’m fine’
‘No what’s wrong?’
‘Don’t worry about it’
‘Is it me?’
‘No it’s not you’
‘Then what is it?’
‘I don’t want to tell you’
‘Are you sick? Do you have a deformity?’
‘Yes. I have clamydia. Happy now?’
‘Oh my god really?’
‘No’
*Pause*
*Small laugh* ‘So tell me! What’s wrong!?’
‘Fine. You want to know?!’
‘Yeah’
I snapped. I told him. He fell silent. He tried to probe more out of me, so I told him to fuck off. I should’ve made him leave. He tried to tell me that a similar event that happened to him was the same thing. I yelled at him, then told him to fuck off, then didn’t speak to him.
He told me that his balls were really tender.
So, last night at the Court I told him that what he did that night was selfish. He pushed me to the edge, and if he really cared about me, than he would've respected my personal boundries. Here's the dialogue;
'That wasn't selfish. I wanted to know what was wrong'
'Exactly. You wanted to know. How about telling me that you care for me, and that if I'd like to speak about it with you, then I can always do so? Ever considered that?'
*Looks away* 'You're emphasising my words in the wrong places.'
'The message is still the same'
'I think you're just using me for someone to lash out on'
'Why would I do that? What would be the point of me doing that?'
'I don't know'
'So where's your justification for that? Why did you say it?'
'I don't know *silence* I'm not a selfish person. You just don't realise that I was concerned for you'
'I think that it was for your own satisfaction. You constantly asked if it was something wrong with you. You wanted peace of mind.'
'I am no longer confortable speaking about this with you David, so I'm going to go outside and think about it'
'Go for your life.'
Later, outside Connections, he told me his conclusion;
'I am not a selfish person. I was doing it out of concern for you. I still think you were just lashing out on me.'
'Fair enough'
That's when I saw Jeff. Thanks dear.
In Connections, I danced a bit with a few people, sat down and spoke with a few people, refused every drink offer I was given, resisted every kiss that people pulled me into, and danced alone for the majority of the time. After a glass of water, I walked home.
The situation that lead to the argument was this; He was over at my house on Sunday (I’ve known the guy for two weeks, thus he didn’t listen to my I DON’T COMMIT MYSELF TO ANYONE IN UNDER A MONTH OF ACQUAINTENCE) to watch a dvd. Towards the end of the film, he came over and sat behind me. First wrong move. He then tried rubbing my crotch. Second bad move. He says ‘Oh my god I’m so horny my balls hurt’. I didn’t say a word. I didn’t get hard either. In confusion, he rubbed my crotch harder and harder until it began to hurt. I pulled his hands away, but the shit kept on sliding them down there, eventually trying to unzip my fly. I kept on pulling his hands back. So! He asks ‘What’s wrong? Don’t you like me?’ From then I didn’t, but I told him that I’d rather we took it more slowly (he was over at mine to watch a dvd and crash. I made that perfectly clear). So then I get up to get a glass of water, offering him one. He tried to pull me into him, and it took three attempts until I finally made it out of the lounge room. I should not have gone back.
After him pulling me into him, putting my hand on his cock, I suggested bed. I offered the spare bed, or my bed. If he chose my bed, I was going to take the spare bed. However, he chose my bed and pulled me in, pushing me onto the bed. After waiting until he’d finished making out with me, I got undressed and got into bed, as did he. I bid him goodnight and rolled over. So what does he do? He starts trying to grab my crotch. I just maneuvered myself so that he couldn’t. So he asks again ‘What’s wrong? Don’t you like me?’ Here’s an exerpt from the dialogue (the rest is him asking me if it's him, or what's wrong);
‘Nothing. I’m fine’
‘No what’s wrong?’
‘Don’t worry about it’
‘Is it me?’
‘No it’s not you’
‘Then what is it?’
‘I don’t want to tell you’
‘Are you sick? Do you have a deformity?’
‘Yes. I have clamydia. Happy now?’
‘Oh my god really?’
‘No’
*Pause*
*Small laugh* ‘So tell me! What’s wrong!?’
‘Fine. You want to know?!’
‘Yeah’
I snapped. I told him. He fell silent. He tried to probe more out of me, so I told him to fuck off. I should’ve made him leave. He tried to tell me that a similar event that happened to him was the same thing. I yelled at him, then told him to fuck off, then didn’t speak to him.
He told me that his balls were really tender.
So, last night at the Court I told him that what he did that night was selfish. He pushed me to the edge, and if he really cared about me, than he would've respected my personal boundries. Here's the dialogue;
'That wasn't selfish. I wanted to know what was wrong'
'Exactly. You wanted to know. How about telling me that you care for me, and that if I'd like to speak about it with you, then I can always do so? Ever considered that?'
*Looks away* 'You're emphasising my words in the wrong places.'
'The message is still the same'
'I think you're just using me for someone to lash out on'
'Why would I do that? What would be the point of me doing that?'
'I don't know'
'So where's your justification for that? Why did you say it?'
'I don't know *silence* I'm not a selfish person. You just don't realise that I was concerned for you'
'I think that it was for your own satisfaction. You constantly asked if it was something wrong with you. You wanted peace of mind.'
'I am no longer confortable speaking about this with you David, so I'm going to go outside and think about it'
'Go for your life.'
Later, outside Connections, he told me his conclusion;
'I am not a selfish person. I was doing it out of concern for you. I still think you were just lashing out on me.'
'Fair enough'
That's when I saw Jeff. Thanks dear.
In Connections, I danced a bit with a few people, sat down and spoke with a few people, refused every drink offer I was given, resisted every kiss that people pulled me into, and danced alone for the majority of the time. After a glass of water, I walked home.