(no subject)
In looking back at my past... I realize that for the majority, I have been an observer of my life, not a participant. When I talk to Misty and her family, they all have personal stories to tell. They all start out, "Remember the time we...", or "Remember when I..." All of my stories start out, "I was there when...," or "I know someone who...". Maybe that's why I feel like I have no history. I didn't live it. I just observed it. And so, I forget about it the way one would forget an episode of "Who's the Boss" that they'd seen. All my memories, or at least the vast majority of them, consist of me in and observing a situation, and the feelings I had attached to that situation. Maybe the reason I feel like I have no soul and no purpose is because I haven't lived yet. I've only existed and observed.