Why are cats spooked by laughter?
Had a very introspective day, today. I realized that I tell a lot of white lies to maintain a shell and an image around me. I even believe many of those lies myself. I had a very interesting conversation about socially acceptable lies with ilwitchgrrl. Those lies are driven by fear.
I was pondering the conversation when I had my second realization. My entire life is consumed by fear. Fear, suppressed by logic becomes worry. I worry constantly. Put into practice and applied to everyday life, it makes me really uptight - a quality of mine that enchantedmoonie has pointed out on several occasions. I need to break away from fear. Now that I see it in me, it feels like shackles instead of a tool for protection. Fear drives the lies. Fear drives the worries. Fear keeps me safe. Fear robs me of most of what should be my life.
The third thing I realized as I was going home. First a little background info... I'm on a diet. Well, everyone who eats is on a diet. I'm on a carefully controlled diet designed to make me loose weight. There... Anyway... On my way home, I was hungry. I was feeling the physical empty feeling and having the psychological craving as well. When it comes to physical things I have a bit of willpower, but regarding psychology, I have very little strength. I was thinking of things I could eat that wouldn't reduce the significant calorie advantage I had built up over the course of today. I finally decided that I should have an orange because citrus always seems to work well at appeasing the sensation for a while. Then I said out loud to myself in a very matter-of-fact tone, "...or nothing, 'cause I'm not hungry anyway." And just like that, the psychological craving disappeared.
The realization is that I can convince myself of things really easily. It makes me wonder how much of the things I know are real and how much of the way I view the world around me is based on things I've convinced myself. Why, when I have that thought, does panic start to creep into the back of my mind? One thing I have figured out today: If I stop trying to 'figure it all out,' ideas sorta' trickle in, one at a time, over the course of the day... Or maybe I'm just tired... Or maybe I just convinced myself that I'm tired. I'm not really sure what I know anymore.
I was pondering the conversation when I had my second realization. My entire life is consumed by fear. Fear, suppressed by logic becomes worry. I worry constantly. Put into practice and applied to everyday life, it makes me really uptight - a quality of mine that enchantedmoonie has pointed out on several occasions. I need to break away from fear. Now that I see it in me, it feels like shackles instead of a tool for protection. Fear drives the lies. Fear drives the worries. Fear keeps me safe. Fear robs me of most of what should be my life.
The third thing I realized as I was going home. First a little background info... I'm on a diet. Well, everyone who eats is on a diet. I'm on a carefully controlled diet designed to make me loose weight. There... Anyway... On my way home, I was hungry. I was feeling the physical empty feeling and having the psychological craving as well. When it comes to physical things I have a bit of willpower, but regarding psychology, I have very little strength. I was thinking of things I could eat that wouldn't reduce the significant calorie advantage I had built up over the course of today. I finally decided that I should have an orange because citrus always seems to work well at appeasing the sensation for a while. Then I said out loud to myself in a very matter-of-fact tone, "...or nothing, 'cause I'm not hungry anyway." And just like that, the psychological craving disappeared.
The realization is that I can convince myself of things really easily. It makes me wonder how much of the things I know are real and how much of the way I view the world around me is based on things I've convinced myself. Why, when I have that thought, does panic start to creep into the back of my mind? One thing I have figured out today: If I stop trying to 'figure it all out,' ideas sorta' trickle in, one at a time, over the course of the day... Or maybe I'm just tired... Or maybe I just convinced myself that I'm tired. I'm not really sure what I know anymore.