Singing and the Mark of the Kray
Today we're going to talk about the Mark of the Kray.
The performing arts are full of crazy people. You can't turn around without running into a crazy person. The thing is, there's crazy and then there's the Mark of the Kray. You know that person. You've seen that person. At one time, you might have even been that person, much to your eternal shame. You recognize that person when they walk in the door. They're that person who can't stop comparing themselves to Sills or Caruso or whatever other famous name they've latched onto. They go on and on about their vocal type, and they're never a soubrette or a character tenor, but some super-sexy sounding voice category that, naturally, is meant to only sing the lead. They audition with obscure songs that go on for eight minutes. They complain about how little experience they have, then refuse to accept chorus. They aren't merely boring but aggressively so. Some of them are every bit as creepy insane as they appear. Some of them are well-meaning folks who are really trying, but some great fool has doused them with Batshit Insane by Calvin Klein (note- if this were a real fragrance, I would but it) and now the smell just won't seem to come off no matter what they do. The end result is the same, sad to say. No one wants to work with them. They are branded with the Mark of the Kray.
When people have reason to assume that you're a relatively normal and well-adjusted person, you are allowed a certain latitude for insanity. People will write off your insane tirades as being passionate. They figure that if they cast you, they can just tell you to take out that awkward high note or switch to a less tacky cadenza. As a sane person, you're going to accept criticism and behave professionally. Your Harry Potter Gryffindor scarf is not a terrifying sign of many boring conversations to come, but a sign that you are creative and likely to be open-minded to direction.
When you have the Mark of the Kray, all of your "get away with crazy" points are cashed in. Your biggest hurdle isn't establishing that you can sing. The singing has to be a given. Your problem is that everyone thinks you're a wack job and now you have to prove that you aren't. You need to show them that whatever the case might have been before, you have grown out of it, learned your lesson and moved on.
If I was going to list a baseline for a sensible audition, it would be as follows:
1. Only list songs/arias from roles you could be hired to perform right now. Drop all the stuff that is meant to show your "potential" ten years down the road.
2. Stick to one and only one vocal category. No stretch pieces. No cribbing from another category.
3. Stick with standard rep and only standard rep. If the work isn't on the list of top twenty most performed works, it is off your menu.
4. Every single piece on your list should be under 4 minutes long. Yes. Really. No excuses.
5. Wear solid colors and keep it classic. Imagine that you're going to an open house at a law office in Manhattan. This is not the time to break out the pin-up wear or the hipster shirt or the LOTR Official Licensed Galadriel Jewelry Set or sneakers or sequins or a prom outfit.
6. Be clean, pressed, shaved and well put together. Your hair should be dry and out of your face. Your clothes should free from stains and tears and marks.
7. Don't use fancy fonts on your resume. Stick with Times New Roman on white paper. Arrange everything in tables with experience in reverse chronological order.
8. Your cover letter should be short and to the point. "Dear blank, I am interested in auditioning for (fill in the blank.) Please find my resume and headshot enclosed. Thank you for your time and kind consideration. Sincerely, Me."
9. Do not under any circumstances compare yourself to a famous singer. Do not do a recital dedicated to a famous singer. Do not include quotes on your website from your teacher/friends/mom about how you are the next coming of a famous singer. Do not get into a big drama about a famous singer anywhere outside of your own house when no one else is home and all the curtains are closed and the neighbors are all dead from a zombie plague.
10. Get feedback from outside your circle. Chances are, you've fallen in with some crazy people and that crazy is rubbing off and getting all over you. One way to counteract that is by getting honest feedback from someone outside that sphere. Don't tell them anything about yourself or what you want to hear. Ideally, you should sing something for them that doesn't give away whatever rep you think you should sing, so you can get the most honest and unbiased opinion possible. You don't have to agree or act on it, but you need to hear it.
If you haven't noticed, the idea here is to create a presentation that is simple and sleek and shows that you have nothing to hide. It's cutting out all of the distractions so that people can listen to your singing instead of wondering who on earth advised you to make such strange choices. Bear in mind that if you're a late bloomer, or you have some odd rep on your resume or you've only sung within a very limited sphere, you're very likely in what we'll call an "at risk" category for the mark of crazy. The same goes for singers who fit into the more sexy and desirable vocal categories. The vast majority of singers who call themselves "spinto tenor" or "dramatic coloratura" are delusional crazy people. Even though you're the real deal, you still have to get past that immediate assumption of "Oh crap, another one of those freaks" on the part of the audition panel. It might not be fair, but it is the reality that we live in.
We also need to understand that in today's world, silence means that you sucked. There are just too many people out there who respond to criticism with scary. They make it clear that if you don't tell them what they want to hear, they will make you life hell in one way or another up to and including violence. No one has time to deal with that, nor should they. When people stop telling you what you're doing wrong, it is time to get very very very concerned. It means that you've crossed that line and now you're on psycho watch. You're actually fine, but they can't see inside your head to understand that.
Numbers 1-9 are all about camouflaging your insanity just enough to be taken seriously. Number 10 is the first step on the long road to recovery. Ideally, you should find someone who is in a position of respect but far enough outside your usual orbit that you would feel comfortable disregarding their advice if that's your choice. Just because they say you're a dramatic mezzo doesn't mean you can't continue singing coloratura soprano, but it is information that you need to have. If you're presenting yourself as something far removed from what you really are, you're looking at a much more challenging journey towards success. That doesn't mean you can't keep walking down that road. It just means that when you run into boulders that block the way, you'll have a better idea of what they are, why they are there and if/how you will get around them. Are we clear?
Once you have a little bit more experience and people know you better, you can start adding some of the fun stuff back onto your list. There's a world of difference between a dude with no experience walking into an audition with the entire last act of Siegfried prepared and a singer who has a resume full of experience singing Wagner roles doing the same thing. Or a guy who just won MONCA singing Wagner. Or a guy who has done a bunch of small dramatic tenor parts with reputable companies and is looking to start covering the big leads. There is a time and place when you can do what you want to do but you might not be there right now.
And never forget, darling cookies, that the great rule over all is to do what you want to do, provided you understand what you are doing and why. There is no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, only the amazing journey along the bow, so pick the path you want and make every step count.
The performing arts are full of crazy people. You can't turn around without running into a crazy person. The thing is, there's crazy and then there's the Mark of the Kray. You know that person. You've seen that person. At one time, you might have even been that person, much to your eternal shame. You recognize that person when they walk in the door. They're that person who can't stop comparing themselves to Sills or Caruso or whatever other famous name they've latched onto. They go on and on about their vocal type, and they're never a soubrette or a character tenor, but some super-sexy sounding voice category that, naturally, is meant to only sing the lead. They audition with obscure songs that go on for eight minutes. They complain about how little experience they have, then refuse to accept chorus. They aren't merely boring but aggressively so. Some of them are every bit as creepy insane as they appear. Some of them are well-meaning folks who are really trying, but some great fool has doused them with Batshit Insane by Calvin Klein (note- if this were a real fragrance, I would but it) and now the smell just won't seem to come off no matter what they do. The end result is the same, sad to say. No one wants to work with them. They are branded with the Mark of the Kray.
When people have reason to assume that you're a relatively normal and well-adjusted person, you are allowed a certain latitude for insanity. People will write off your insane tirades as being passionate. They figure that if they cast you, they can just tell you to take out that awkward high note or switch to a less tacky cadenza. As a sane person, you're going to accept criticism and behave professionally. Your Harry Potter Gryffindor scarf is not a terrifying sign of many boring conversations to come, but a sign that you are creative and likely to be open-minded to direction.
When you have the Mark of the Kray, all of your "get away with crazy" points are cashed in. Your biggest hurdle isn't establishing that you can sing. The singing has to be a given. Your problem is that everyone thinks you're a wack job and now you have to prove that you aren't. You need to show them that whatever the case might have been before, you have grown out of it, learned your lesson and moved on.
If I was going to list a baseline for a sensible audition, it would be as follows:
1. Only list songs/arias from roles you could be hired to perform right now. Drop all the stuff that is meant to show your "potential" ten years down the road.
2. Stick to one and only one vocal category. No stretch pieces. No cribbing from another category.
3. Stick with standard rep and only standard rep. If the work isn't on the list of top twenty most performed works, it is off your menu.
4. Every single piece on your list should be under 4 minutes long. Yes. Really. No excuses.
5. Wear solid colors and keep it classic. Imagine that you're going to an open house at a law office in Manhattan. This is not the time to break out the pin-up wear or the hipster shirt or the LOTR Official Licensed Galadriel Jewelry Set or sneakers or sequins or a prom outfit.
6. Be clean, pressed, shaved and well put together. Your hair should be dry and out of your face. Your clothes should free from stains and tears and marks.
7. Don't use fancy fonts on your resume. Stick with Times New Roman on white paper. Arrange everything in tables with experience in reverse chronological order.
8. Your cover letter should be short and to the point. "Dear blank, I am interested in auditioning for (fill in the blank.) Please find my resume and headshot enclosed. Thank you for your time and kind consideration. Sincerely, Me."
9. Do not under any circumstances compare yourself to a famous singer. Do not do a recital dedicated to a famous singer. Do not include quotes on your website from your teacher/friends/mom about how you are the next coming of a famous singer. Do not get into a big drama about a famous singer anywhere outside of your own house when no one else is home and all the curtains are closed and the neighbors are all dead from a zombie plague.
10. Get feedback from outside your circle. Chances are, you've fallen in with some crazy people and that crazy is rubbing off and getting all over you. One way to counteract that is by getting honest feedback from someone outside that sphere. Don't tell them anything about yourself or what you want to hear. Ideally, you should sing something for them that doesn't give away whatever rep you think you should sing, so you can get the most honest and unbiased opinion possible. You don't have to agree or act on it, but you need to hear it.
If you haven't noticed, the idea here is to create a presentation that is simple and sleek and shows that you have nothing to hide. It's cutting out all of the distractions so that people can listen to your singing instead of wondering who on earth advised you to make such strange choices. Bear in mind that if you're a late bloomer, or you have some odd rep on your resume or you've only sung within a very limited sphere, you're very likely in what we'll call an "at risk" category for the mark of crazy. The same goes for singers who fit into the more sexy and desirable vocal categories. The vast majority of singers who call themselves "spinto tenor" or "dramatic coloratura" are delusional crazy people. Even though you're the real deal, you still have to get past that immediate assumption of "Oh crap, another one of those freaks" on the part of the audition panel. It might not be fair, but it is the reality that we live in.
We also need to understand that in today's world, silence means that you sucked. There are just too many people out there who respond to criticism with scary. They make it clear that if you don't tell them what they want to hear, they will make you life hell in one way or another up to and including violence. No one has time to deal with that, nor should they. When people stop telling you what you're doing wrong, it is time to get very very very concerned. It means that you've crossed that line and now you're on psycho watch. You're actually fine, but they can't see inside your head to understand that.
Numbers 1-9 are all about camouflaging your insanity just enough to be taken seriously. Number 10 is the first step on the long road to recovery. Ideally, you should find someone who is in a position of respect but far enough outside your usual orbit that you would feel comfortable disregarding their advice if that's your choice. Just because they say you're a dramatic mezzo doesn't mean you can't continue singing coloratura soprano, but it is information that you need to have. If you're presenting yourself as something far removed from what you really are, you're looking at a much more challenging journey towards success. That doesn't mean you can't keep walking down that road. It just means that when you run into boulders that block the way, you'll have a better idea of what they are, why they are there and if/how you will get around them. Are we clear?
Once you have a little bit more experience and people know you better, you can start adding some of the fun stuff back onto your list. There's a world of difference between a dude with no experience walking into an audition with the entire last act of Siegfried prepared and a singer who has a resume full of experience singing Wagner roles doing the same thing. Or a guy who just won MONCA singing Wagner. Or a guy who has done a bunch of small dramatic tenor parts with reputable companies and is looking to start covering the big leads. There is a time and place when you can do what you want to do but you might not be there right now.
And never forget, darling cookies, that the great rule over all is to do what you want to do, provided you understand what you are doing and why. There is no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, only the amazing journey along the bow, so pick the path you want and make every step count.