Fifty Shades of (insert clever adjective here): Chapters 6-10
When I was a teenager, I read a book called Exit to Eden by Anne Rice. I think it was originally published under her other pen name, but there had been a movie version and Anne Rice was huge at the time, so they published copies with that name on them. Anyway, the basic plot is that a guy goes to an island that is a BDSM playground as a slave where he falls in love with the head dominatrix. Like Christian, she doesn't want an emotional connection, and the book follows the two characters as she gradually develops an emotional attachment to the guy and the plot builds to them having vanilla sex.
There is sex galore in Exit to Eden. We have sex happening in flashbacks and sex happening on the island and sex happening between different characters and sex happening between the mains just not the emotionally connected sex that the leading guy wants. The heroine angst over her strong feelings for this guy, but the emotional side of their relationship takes time to develop as she gets to know him better.
And the movie has almost nothing to do with the book, adds in a random plot about criminals hiding out and police trying to find them and stars Rosie O'Donnell. If they make a Fifty Shades movie like that, I will see it a million times. It should star Gilbert Godfried.
My point is that my biggest problem with chapters 6-10 of Fifty Shades is the pacing. Christian and Ana have barely met each other, but they're already "making love", cuddling and sharing breakfast. From a pacing standpoint, this should be the end of the story, not the beginning. They've already reached a loving relationship and now they're going to hit the rewind button and become disconnected sex partners?
Now, I do understand what the author is trying to do here. Ana is supposed to be the special exception for Christian. He is so enamored of her that he is willing to break all his rules and bring her to his own bed for cuddles. Don't we all want to be that special exception who is just that much more special than the 15 other women that Senor Sexypants slept with? Don't get me wrong, I want Ana to be that exception, just like I wanted that guy in Exit to Eden to finally get with the dominatrix. The problem is that Rice gave me an entire novel of character development and build up before that happened and once it did, we had reached happy ending while James has reached happy ending in chapter 8 and now we have to go backwards from there. It also makes Christian seem to be giving off extremely conflicting messages. I want to say that Ana is insane for not listening to him when he says that he isn't up for an emotional connection, but he actions say that he does.
Meanwhile, the details are still driving me crazy. For some reason, Ana and Christian are now being compared to children which does not make me think of sexytimes. Frankly, the "child" stuff makes me crazy in my own phandom. Guys, parental relationships are not sexy. Nor are little kids. In fact, it's all kind of jarring because, in my experience, sex was something that tended to make us young folks feel grown up. Even worse, Ana puts her hair in pigtails and begins speaking and thinking like a child which is painfully creepy. Can I believe that she is sex addicted? Absolutely. But would you really put your hair in pigtails and dance around the room, making breakfast for a man who intimidates you, has not given you permission to touch his stuff and who has explicitly told you over and over that he isn't up for playing house? Ana says that Christian scares her but she doesn't act like it so I can't get into. I feel like I am being shown one story and told another.
Sadly, the sex scenes are boring me. That's a bummer because they're actually decent as far as sex scenes go. My problem is that, once again, the word choices drag me right back out of the scene. Christian and his brother, Elliot, both call their lovers "baby." So, I guess that Ana isn't as unique and special as we thought because "baby" doesn't really seem all that romantic to me. Sorry.
After the sex happens, some more sex happens and Ana meets Christian's mom. Again, he doesn't want a relationship but he introduces Ana to his mom. So Christian's actions are saying loud and clear that this is not only a relationship but a serious one. Hey, maybe it will work out. Maybe he'll tell Ana that he made a mistake and was moving too fast. She can sign the slave contract but otherwise they're done and all contact will be severed then he angst for two and half books about how he loves her and doesn't dare admit it because he's already fucked it up so bad? Yeah, I'm not holding out much hope.
Christian brings Ana home. She's spent about 24 hours in his company from Friday evening to Saturday evening but she calls it a "weekend." Hey, as always, Ana is enthusiastically consenting and that's a good thing. Still her enthusiastic consent is approaching dead bunny levels even though we know that she really isn't wrong about anything. Christian is in love with her and she'll get what she wants instead of getting a restraining order. It's fantasy and part of the Twilight fantasy is being able to let go and experience these feelings rather than feeling like we have to constantly hold them back for fear of being thought of as a slut or scaring the guy away. If you want to know why women like this stuff, look no further. That's the reason. We live in a world where we have to constantly control and suppress our feelings of desire and it sucks. Twilight and it's various incarnations put that responsibility onto the guys while we are free to feel whatever we feel and to verbalize it. Ana isn't crazy. She's human.
Christian brings Ana home and she chats with Kate, her gorgeous roommate who has hooked up with Christian's brother. Kate reveals that her first time having sex was not fulfilling, while Ana's was orgasmtastic (again, it's fantasy and Ana was pretty hot to trot so we'll give it a pass) because apparently women like scoring over one another, even in their sex lives. Yes, I hate this aspect of the book with a passion. Ana can't just be happy with the guy. She has to reassure herself over and over that other women want the guy, because if they don't, then the guy isn't as valuable to her. True love. What would have happened if other women didn't want Christian? What if they all smelled his emotional detachment a mile away and thought he was the douchiest douche ever? Would Ana (and we, the reader) be able to see his awesome qualities?
Meanwhile Ana is getting a million calls from Jose, the guy who assaulted her because remember folks, your value is determined by how much unwanted romantic attention you get. She claims that this guy is her friend although we have never seen one single scene in which they acted like friends. Here's the thing about fanfic- we already know the characters, so we don't have to develop them. If I say that Jacob is Bella's friend, you can think back to all the times they were friends in Twilight and it works. This does not work with characters we have only just met. Besides, Bella did like Jacob and led him on quite a bit, while Ana is telling Jose "no" right and left and he refuses to listen to her or respect her feelings. She needs to get a new number and cut contact with this guy.
Well, it's time for me to warm up the Rolls Royce Silver Ghost so I can pick up some Elk-burgers and fried Kale before settling in for chapters 11-15. Crank up the Ockeghem, steep the Darjeeling and pray for me.
There is sex galore in Exit to Eden. We have sex happening in flashbacks and sex happening on the island and sex happening between different characters and sex happening between the mains just not the emotionally connected sex that the leading guy wants. The heroine angst over her strong feelings for this guy, but the emotional side of their relationship takes time to develop as she gets to know him better.
And the movie has almost nothing to do with the book, adds in a random plot about criminals hiding out and police trying to find them and stars Rosie O'Donnell. If they make a Fifty Shades movie like that, I will see it a million times. It should star Gilbert Godfried.
My point is that my biggest problem with chapters 6-10 of Fifty Shades is the pacing. Christian and Ana have barely met each other, but they're already "making love", cuddling and sharing breakfast. From a pacing standpoint, this should be the end of the story, not the beginning. They've already reached a loving relationship and now they're going to hit the rewind button and become disconnected sex partners?
Now, I do understand what the author is trying to do here. Ana is supposed to be the special exception for Christian. He is so enamored of her that he is willing to break all his rules and bring her to his own bed for cuddles. Don't we all want to be that special exception who is just that much more special than the 15 other women that Senor Sexypants slept with? Don't get me wrong, I want Ana to be that exception, just like I wanted that guy in Exit to Eden to finally get with the dominatrix. The problem is that Rice gave me an entire novel of character development and build up before that happened and once it did, we had reached happy ending while James has reached happy ending in chapter 8 and now we have to go backwards from there. It also makes Christian seem to be giving off extremely conflicting messages. I want to say that Ana is insane for not listening to him when he says that he isn't up for an emotional connection, but he actions say that he does.
Meanwhile, the details are still driving me crazy. For some reason, Ana and Christian are now being compared to children which does not make me think of sexytimes. Frankly, the "child" stuff makes me crazy in my own phandom. Guys, parental relationships are not sexy. Nor are little kids. In fact, it's all kind of jarring because, in my experience, sex was something that tended to make us young folks feel grown up. Even worse, Ana puts her hair in pigtails and begins speaking and thinking like a child which is painfully creepy. Can I believe that she is sex addicted? Absolutely. But would you really put your hair in pigtails and dance around the room, making breakfast for a man who intimidates you, has not given you permission to touch his stuff and who has explicitly told you over and over that he isn't up for playing house? Ana says that Christian scares her but she doesn't act like it so I can't get into. I feel like I am being shown one story and told another.
Sadly, the sex scenes are boring me. That's a bummer because they're actually decent as far as sex scenes go. My problem is that, once again, the word choices drag me right back out of the scene. Christian and his brother, Elliot, both call their lovers "baby." So, I guess that Ana isn't as unique and special as we thought because "baby" doesn't really seem all that romantic to me. Sorry.
After the sex happens, some more sex happens and Ana meets Christian's mom. Again, he doesn't want a relationship but he introduces Ana to his mom. So Christian's actions are saying loud and clear that this is not only a relationship but a serious one. Hey, maybe it will work out. Maybe he'll tell Ana that he made a mistake and was moving too fast. She can sign the slave contract but otherwise they're done and all contact will be severed then he angst for two and half books about how he loves her and doesn't dare admit it because he's already fucked it up so bad? Yeah, I'm not holding out much hope.
Christian brings Ana home. She's spent about 24 hours in his company from Friday evening to Saturday evening but she calls it a "weekend." Hey, as always, Ana is enthusiastically consenting and that's a good thing. Still her enthusiastic consent is approaching dead bunny levels even though we know that she really isn't wrong about anything. Christian is in love with her and she'll get what she wants instead of getting a restraining order. It's fantasy and part of the Twilight fantasy is being able to let go and experience these feelings rather than feeling like we have to constantly hold them back for fear of being thought of as a slut or scaring the guy away. If you want to know why women like this stuff, look no further. That's the reason. We live in a world where we have to constantly control and suppress our feelings of desire and it sucks. Twilight and it's various incarnations put that responsibility onto the guys while we are free to feel whatever we feel and to verbalize it. Ana isn't crazy. She's human.
Christian brings Ana home and she chats with Kate, her gorgeous roommate who has hooked up with Christian's brother. Kate reveals that her first time having sex was not fulfilling, while Ana's was orgasmtastic (again, it's fantasy and Ana was pretty hot to trot so we'll give it a pass) because apparently women like scoring over one another, even in their sex lives. Yes, I hate this aspect of the book with a passion. Ana can't just be happy with the guy. She has to reassure herself over and over that other women want the guy, because if they don't, then the guy isn't as valuable to her. True love. What would have happened if other women didn't want Christian? What if they all smelled his emotional detachment a mile away and thought he was the douchiest douche ever? Would Ana (and we, the reader) be able to see his awesome qualities?
Meanwhile Ana is getting a million calls from Jose, the guy who assaulted her because remember folks, your value is determined by how much unwanted romantic attention you get. She claims that this guy is her friend although we have never seen one single scene in which they acted like friends. Here's the thing about fanfic- we already know the characters, so we don't have to develop them. If I say that Jacob is Bella's friend, you can think back to all the times they were friends in Twilight and it works. This does not work with characters we have only just met. Besides, Bella did like Jacob and led him on quite a bit, while Ana is telling Jose "no" right and left and he refuses to listen to her or respect her feelings. She needs to get a new number and cut contact with this guy.
Well, it's time for me to warm up the Rolls Royce Silver Ghost so I can pick up some Elk-burgers and fried Kale before settling in for chapters 11-15. Crank up the Ockeghem, steep the Darjeeling and pray for me.