(no subject)
The first day of 2005...
Don't you just feel peachy? I do.. sure. Why not? Well. I've been fighting a decision for awhile.. and I've come to a conclusion..
I was thinking about my options in life, what I'd do as my career, what it'd be, and where I'd be in life.. well. I had a few options, I could go along with my art, see how far that'd get me, I could go into radio as my dad did, I could take over my mother's restuarant.. and my last one, join the Armed Forces. Yeah. I know, usually a guy's decision. Well, it's mine now. Strongly have I considered all of these.. I'm trying to see what would be best....and as it stands right now, I'm going to go into the Armed Forces.
More than likely, I'll be going into the Army. Go into Basic Training after I graduate, of course I'll have to wait till I turn 18, because I'll be graduating when I'm 17. Oh of course I'll miss everyone.. I mean who wouldn't? It doesn't really bother me though... I know it bothers them because there's the chance that I'll be hurt, oh well. It happens when you dedicate your life to your country.. Besides, I'll be able to make my way through college without any problems. -Shrugs and sighs.- I could personally care less if it killed me out there.. I've got enough pain inside as is. What influenced my decision to join the Army? I'll tell you what.
1. I have nothing here, there's nothing for me here.. sure there are the people I know (As cold as this sounds), but there's nothing more.. Sure.. They'll know me, but as soon as I step foot onto the battleground, I'll have no one but myself and my teammates. Depressing? No... The truth? Yes. It is the truth, if I get blinded by my own thoughts, then I'm sure as hell dead out there. There is no love, no happiness, no friends in war. All there is, is getting the mission completed, tact, and teamwork. Ah but what does it matter to you..? I'm just stating what I feel.
2. Even though I have a loving family, friends who care about me, and a place to call home, I still don't feel that I belong.. I've never felt that I belonged here, not even since I was little. I had always thought that maybe, it was because I belonged back in Detroit.. but then I came to realize when I was there, I felt no belonging sense there either. Perhaps I didn't belong there, nor did I belong here.. perhaps I belong on the shores of some exotic beach, holding a M16 in my hands, watching as the enemies fall by my hands.. I had always imagined what my hands would look like with blood on them.. Maybe it'll happen sooner than I thought eh?
3. Last one, I promise. Promises.. I keep mine, if there's something that comes into the way of my promise... I deal with it. Too many promises have been made lately. I feel as if there's a line that's been crossed, and quite frankly I'm hurt by it. I didn't make this livejournal just to complain about my life.. I made it to inform people of my choices, so that if we couldn't contact one another online or by phone, they'd know.. somehow.. That I had made a decision, and that I may, or may not stick with it. This one.. well.. I'm strongly feeling that I will stick with it.. You have oppositions, and myself? Well.. It doesn't matter.. You can have your oppositions..and I will have my own opinions..
I apologize if you all think that I'm being rude, or just being a plain out bitch. Well, things happen for a reason, this happened for a reason.. You want to know about it? Well, that's a bit too bad.. Because I'm not willing to tell just anyone.. Who are you? And what reason should you know about it? Perhaps if you've got good reasoning, you'll start to know, and you'll find out why I'm doing what I'm doing, and why I'm acting why I'm acting..
There's really nothing more to say.. Except I believe this song that I'm listening to, fits perfectly..
I don't know who to trust, no suprise..(Everyone feels so far away from me)
Heavy thoughts sift through dust.. and the lies..
Trying not to break, but I'm so tired of this deceit
Everytime I try to make myself get back upon my feet..
All I ever think about is this, all the tiring time between and how..
Trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me.
Take everything from the inside, and throw it all away..
Cause I swear, for the last time, I will trust myself with you..
Well yeah. That's about it.. if I want to, I'll list the rest, but not right now... too much to do.
Later, I'll talk to you when you feel like talkin' to me..
Tysias
Don't you just feel peachy? I do.. sure. Why not? Well. I've been fighting a decision for awhile.. and I've come to a conclusion..
I was thinking about my options in life, what I'd do as my career, what it'd be, and where I'd be in life.. well. I had a few options, I could go along with my art, see how far that'd get me, I could go into radio as my dad did, I could take over my mother's restuarant.. and my last one, join the Armed Forces. Yeah. I know, usually a guy's decision. Well, it's mine now. Strongly have I considered all of these.. I'm trying to see what would be best....and as it stands right now, I'm going to go into the Armed Forces.
More than likely, I'll be going into the Army. Go into Basic Training after I graduate, of course I'll have to wait till I turn 18, because I'll be graduating when I'm 17. Oh of course I'll miss everyone.. I mean who wouldn't? It doesn't really bother me though... I know it bothers them because there's the chance that I'll be hurt, oh well. It happens when you dedicate your life to your country.. Besides, I'll be able to make my way through college without any problems. -Shrugs and sighs.- I could personally care less if it killed me out there.. I've got enough pain inside as is. What influenced my decision to join the Army? I'll tell you what.
1. I have nothing here, there's nothing for me here.. sure there are the people I know (As cold as this sounds), but there's nothing more.. Sure.. They'll know me, but as soon as I step foot onto the battleground, I'll have no one but myself and my teammates. Depressing? No... The truth? Yes. It is the truth, if I get blinded by my own thoughts, then I'm sure as hell dead out there. There is no love, no happiness, no friends in war. All there is, is getting the mission completed, tact, and teamwork. Ah but what does it matter to you..? I'm just stating what I feel.
2. Even though I have a loving family, friends who care about me, and a place to call home, I still don't feel that I belong.. I've never felt that I belonged here, not even since I was little. I had always thought that maybe, it was because I belonged back in Detroit.. but then I came to realize when I was there, I felt no belonging sense there either. Perhaps I didn't belong there, nor did I belong here.. perhaps I belong on the shores of some exotic beach, holding a M16 in my hands, watching as the enemies fall by my hands.. I had always imagined what my hands would look like with blood on them.. Maybe it'll happen sooner than I thought eh?
3. Last one, I promise. Promises.. I keep mine, if there's something that comes into the way of my promise... I deal with it. Too many promises have been made lately. I feel as if there's a line that's been crossed, and quite frankly I'm hurt by it. I didn't make this livejournal just to complain about my life.. I made it to inform people of my choices, so that if we couldn't contact one another online or by phone, they'd know.. somehow.. That I had made a decision, and that I may, or may not stick with it. This one.. well.. I'm strongly feeling that I will stick with it.. You have oppositions, and myself? Well.. It doesn't matter.. You can have your oppositions..and I will have my own opinions..
I apologize if you all think that I'm being rude, or just being a plain out bitch. Well, things happen for a reason, this happened for a reason.. You want to know about it? Well, that's a bit too bad.. Because I'm not willing to tell just anyone.. Who are you? And what reason should you know about it? Perhaps if you've got good reasoning, you'll start to know, and you'll find out why I'm doing what I'm doing, and why I'm acting why I'm acting..
There's really nothing more to say.. Except I believe this song that I'm listening to, fits perfectly..
I don't know who to trust, no suprise..(Everyone feels so far away from me)
Heavy thoughts sift through dust.. and the lies..
Trying not to break, but I'm so tired of this deceit
Everytime I try to make myself get back upon my feet..
All I ever think about is this, all the tiring time between and how..
Trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me.
Take everything from the inside, and throw it all away..
Cause I swear, for the last time, I will trust myself with you..
Well yeah. That's about it.. if I want to, I'll list the rest, but not right now... too much to do.
Later, I'll talk to you when you feel like talkin' to me..
Tysias