Little things
It's funny how so many little things affect your mood in both positive and negative ways...I guess the only constant is you. The sun rises and you smile...a glass breaks and it makes you want to throw things. So I guess what's on my mind is depression and why it's so easy to live contently and ignor depression until being content is no longer an option and you're forced to face yourself and the things you tried to overcome by starting a family in the first place.
There are so many things I dislike about myself and I wonder if I need to or just be content with who I am, both negative and positive qualities. I know that I'm better than who I am now and what I accomplish on a daily basis. I expect more. More in what way? I think more effort and more heart. Idle hands? How about idle minds? I am such a dreamer even more so now and I just wish for things to happen instead of actually striving to create something great.
I feel like I'm falling apart at times. Is it a bad thing to feel that all you are lies in your children and thier smiling faces? It sets you up for another disappointment because you need to put your happiness in yourself and not rely on someone else, not for anything. I'm just afraid that I'm going to keep deterierating until there's nothing left but a soul less zombie workaholic that wants to sleep.
Yeah, so maybe I'll make that appointment...happy?
There are so many things I dislike about myself and I wonder if I need to or just be content with who I am, both negative and positive qualities. I know that I'm better than who I am now and what I accomplish on a daily basis. I expect more. More in what way? I think more effort and more heart. Idle hands? How about idle minds? I am such a dreamer even more so now and I just wish for things to happen instead of actually striving to create something great.
I feel like I'm falling apart at times. Is it a bad thing to feel that all you are lies in your children and thier smiling faces? It sets you up for another disappointment because you need to put your happiness in yourself and not rely on someone else, not for anything. I'm just afraid that I'm going to keep deterierating until there's nothing left but a soul less zombie workaholic that wants to sleep.
Yeah, so maybe I'll make that appointment...happy?