That FUCKING Dwarf!!!
I really hate that fucking dwarf. I find him everywhere...on tabletops, hiding in my underwear drawer, humping my computer monitor; sometimes when I take a shit, there he is standing on the roll of toilet paper. Ooooh that fucking dwarf. I'll get him. You'll see!
Next time someone pisses you off, I recommend this procedure:
1) Knock them out cold. Preferably by tossing your massive nutsack at them.
2) Duct tape them to a skateboard.
3) Attach the skateboard to the back of the a UPS truck, via a bungee cord.
4) Secure a remote camera to the back of the truck, facing the skateboard.
5) Gather all your friends 'round your TV for an event that dwarfs (HAHAHA...DWARF) the SuperBowl in entertainment value!
Well, I'm back home on break...things are good (except for that fucking dwarf). My goal in life is now to perform a drive-by shooting. With an ice cube. FUCK YOU! I DREAMT IT, OKAY?
COCKLEBURRCOCKLEBURRCOCKLEBURRCOCKLEBURR.
So...yeah...some people are rebelling... In Haiti. Or Jamaica. Or Puerto Rico. Or one of those...non-North American places... I AM THE REASON THE TERRORISTS HATE US. IGNORANCE IS BLISS. ALL HAIL THE GRAND PAPARAZZI CHIEF. I AM ONE WITH THE OVERMIND.
If I had a webcam, I don't think I'd be able to resist the urge to sit in front of it with a 9 inch black dildo sticking out of my pants. I'M STRAIGHT. I SWEAR IT. JUST DON'T ASK THAT TRANSVESTITE MAN OVER THERE. THAT WAS A ONE-TIME THING! AND THE PEANUT BUTTER WAS HIS IDEA!
BOOM. And I'm back. After a long hiatus. My dwarves...I mean, emotions were giving me some pause, but no longer! Perhaps I'll start updating again. Perhaps not. Either way, it's not going to solve my dwarf problem. THAT FUCKING DWARF!
...
*twitch*
Next time someone pisses you off, I recommend this procedure:
1) Knock them out cold. Preferably by tossing your massive nutsack at them.
2) Duct tape them to a skateboard.
3) Attach the skateboard to the back of the a UPS truck, via a bungee cord.
4) Secure a remote camera to the back of the truck, facing the skateboard.
5) Gather all your friends 'round your TV for an event that dwarfs (HAHAHA...DWARF) the SuperBowl in entertainment value!
Well, I'm back home on break...things are good (except for that fucking dwarf). My goal in life is now to perform a drive-by shooting. With an ice cube. FUCK YOU! I DREAMT IT, OKAY?
COCKLEBURRCOCKLEBURRCOCKLEBURRCOCKLEBURR.
So...yeah...some people are rebelling... In Haiti. Or Jamaica. Or Puerto Rico. Or one of those...non-North American places... I AM THE REASON THE TERRORISTS HATE US. IGNORANCE IS BLISS. ALL HAIL THE GRAND PAPARAZZI CHIEF. I AM ONE WITH THE OVERMIND.
If I had a webcam, I don't think I'd be able to resist the urge to sit in front of it with a 9 inch black dildo sticking out of my pants. I'M STRAIGHT. I SWEAR IT. JUST DON'T ASK THAT TRANSVESTITE MAN OVER THERE. THAT WAS A ONE-TIME THING! AND THE PEANUT BUTTER WAS HIS IDEA!
BOOM. And I'm back. After a long hiatus. My dwarves...I mean, emotions were giving me some pause, but no longer! Perhaps I'll start updating again. Perhaps not. Either way, it's not going to solve my dwarf problem. THAT FUCKING DWARF!
...
*twitch*