DUI
I got a DUI about a year and a half ago. I am still without a license, far after I should have gotten it back. It's because of court technicalities.
I quit drinking about 6 months ago. The deal with myself was that I could drink again in August if I wanted. Last weekend I went to a bar on Friday, drank beer all evening. Then I bought a bottle of Whiskey, went home and drank the whole thing continually through friday night, saturday, and saturday night. A few days later I drank a whole bottle of wine. It was expensive Ice Wine that I had been saving from my trip to Germany. It was the only alcohol in the house. I stayed up late drinking even though I had to work early the next day.
I make a weekly bus trip on Friday, since I can't drive. This Friday I plan on buying another bottle of alcohol. This time it will be Vodka, because the Whiskey was a little harsh on my stomach at times, especially since I haven't been drinking for awhile.
I was contemplating having rules about drinking, but now I don't care anymore. My wife is leaving me, and I hate my job. The only rule I think I can stick to is no drinking and driving. I'll never do that again.
It's amazing that I got away with it for so long, so many times before. I used to think that I had a guardian angel keeping me out of accidents and away from police. Now I know that was an illusion. Moronic. Naive. I don't have any angel watching over me. I was just goddamned lucky.
A goal of mine for a long time was to become an alcoholic. I was upset that I didn't get to do enough partying in high school or college. I wanted to see what it would be like to be addicted to alcohol.
Mission complete. I have been an alcoholic for some time now. It's not as bad as it could be, but I've had enough of it on many levels.
But I often get depressed and full of despair. Then I just don't care what I do to myself, or what rules I have. I wallow in despair. I get quite a lot out of it. I writhe in the anit-ecstasy that is complete loss of self-control. It is the only way I know to get away from myself, and to escape from life, for just a little while.
I quit drinking about 6 months ago. The deal with myself was that I could drink again in August if I wanted. Last weekend I went to a bar on Friday, drank beer all evening. Then I bought a bottle of Whiskey, went home and drank the whole thing continually through friday night, saturday, and saturday night. A few days later I drank a whole bottle of wine. It was expensive Ice Wine that I had been saving from my trip to Germany. It was the only alcohol in the house. I stayed up late drinking even though I had to work early the next day.
I make a weekly bus trip on Friday, since I can't drive. This Friday I plan on buying another bottle of alcohol. This time it will be Vodka, because the Whiskey was a little harsh on my stomach at times, especially since I haven't been drinking for awhile.
I was contemplating having rules about drinking, but now I don't care anymore. My wife is leaving me, and I hate my job. The only rule I think I can stick to is no drinking and driving. I'll never do that again.
It's amazing that I got away with it for so long, so many times before. I used to think that I had a guardian angel keeping me out of accidents and away from police. Now I know that was an illusion. Moronic. Naive. I don't have any angel watching over me. I was just goddamned lucky.
A goal of mine for a long time was to become an alcoholic. I was upset that I didn't get to do enough partying in high school or college. I wanted to see what it would be like to be addicted to alcohol.
Mission complete. I have been an alcoholic for some time now. It's not as bad as it could be, but I've had enough of it on many levels.
But I often get depressed and full of despair. Then I just don't care what I do to myself, or what rules I have. I wallow in despair. I get quite a lot out of it. I writhe in the anit-ecstasy that is complete loss of self-control. It is the only way I know to get away from myself, and to escape from life, for just a little while.