01. [Voice]

[tyrannicalcoach]

Here is the deal, little town called Mayfield. Little squirt that lives here told me that I need to talk on a phone to contact anyone. I am the one Sue Sylvester, please, no autographs. I hear that there is a serious lack of cheer leading squads here in this puny little town. So, in order to be ahead of the game and take the title of 'best squad',

Comments

[raisedbyacat]

If there's no other squad, wouldn't you be "best squad" by default?

[tyrannicalcoach]

Yes, and it's always good to be the best!

[raisedbyacat]

I guess....

I'm not really sure if I understand your requirements though. Why would someone be on fire?

[tyrannicalcoach]

Fire? Why would I set someone on fire? Though...that is a pretty good idea [She scribbles on a notepad by the phone] Cheer...leaders....on....fire.

[raisedbyacat]

Please don't set people on fire! And you said it, flaming something or other.

[tyrannicalcoach]

Flaming Homosexuals? That means a big gay person. Like really big. Like covered in glitter and wearing assless chaps.

[raisedbyacat]

I don't really understand, what does that have to do with fire? And why would they be dressed like that? Is being gay different from a regular person?

[tyrannicalcoach]

Well they are still regular people...do you...do you not know what gay means? It means if you are a boy, you like like boys, vice versa for woman.

[raisedbyacat]

Oh, I didn't know there was a specific word for that. Um, is there a reason you need people like that specifically? Why does it matter who they like?

[tyrannicalcoach]

Well most of the time, in my world [She emphasizes this long and hard, as if she's explaining this to a three year old.] Gay men tend to be much better when it comes to dancing and preforming and rolling around in glitter! Straight men prefer to sit around and oogly the females covered in armpit sweat while eating doritos and chugging beer.

[raisedbyacat]

[It wouldn't be so far off as his entire life experience amounts to six years and the first three was with a cat exclusively.] I think I understand now. Though, I'm still not sure why liking men would do that. I'm pretty sure I can't do any of those things and I like all my friends very much.

[tyrannicalcoach]

I guess you're from another world. I am so tired of explaining this to everyone. Gay's are fantastic for performing. They don't mind dancing around in tight cloths.

[raisedbyacat]

I'm sorry....

[tyrannicalcoach]

Not your fault you're from a different place than my own. I'm starting to grasp this world. So! How about it? You want to be a cheerleader?!

[raisedbyacat]

Um... what do I have to do?

[tyrannicalcoach]

How long can you hold someone above your head?