A CAUTIONARY TALE
WELL LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I WISH TO TELL YOU A CAUTIONARY TALE ABOUT THE NECESSITY OF THE MUSIC OF MIKE OLDFIELD IN ROAD SAFETY, THE IMPORTANCE OF BLAKE'S SEVEN REFERENCES AND SOME SPECULATION ABOUT THE FATE OF THE DOCTOR
TO ADDRESS THE FIRST POINT, I WAS YESTERDAY REPRESENTED IN CAMBRIDGE BY THE ESTIMABLE tentaclerodeo, WHO WAS MAINLY PRESENT FOR THE PURPOSES OF SCIENCE BUT ALSO FOUND TIME TO PERFORM VISITS TO VARIOUS OTHER FUNCTIONS, RESPECTABLE AND OTHERWISE; HOWEVER ON THE WAY HOME THE TUNE "AMAROK" BY MR. MIKE OLDFIELD WAS PLAYED, ALL ONE HOUR AND TWO SECONDS, OF IT AND UPON THE COMPLETION OF THIS TRACK AND ALSO OF THE MIKE OLDFIELD PLAYLIST, THE CAR BROKE DOWN IN A MANNER CONSISTENT WITH THE TRANSMISSION TEARING ITSELF APART
COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT AND WILL BE SURE TO ALWAYS KEEP MY MUSICAL ENGINE FULLY CHARGED AND LOADED WITH MIKE OLDFIELD AT ALL TIMES
SECONDLY, WHILST OUT ACCOMPLICING (IN ASSASSINS TERMS) MR. SIMEON BIRD, MR. PHILIP BIELBY AND LMM, ALONG WITH VARIOUS ACCOMPLICES, I WAS TREATED TO THE SPECTACLE OF A STRING OF EXCELLENT BACKSTABBINGS WITH SUPERSOAKERS
I MENTION THIS BECAUSE THE MOMENT WOULD THOROUGHLY HAVE BEEN SPOILT WERE IT NOT FOR THE CHORUS OF "BLAKE! HAVE YOU BETRAYED US? HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME!?" THAT ENSUED BEFORE LMM'S SUMMARY EXECUTION AT THE HANDS OF THE MASSED WARRIORS OF NEWNHAM (IF YOU ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH EITHER THE GAME OF ASSASSINS OR CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY AND THE DIVERSE PECULIARITIES OF BOTH I SUGGEST THAT A) THIS PARAGRAPH AND THE PRECEDING ONE BE IGNORED AND B) THAT YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG)
FINALLY I COME TO THE SUBJECT OF DOCTOR WHO; SUGGESTIONS HAVE BEEN MADE IN MY PRESENCE THAT SOME WAY WILL BE FOUND AROUND THE FACT THAT IN THEORY THE DOCTOR IS ONLY CAPABLE OF REGENERATING TWELVE TIMES
AS AN OBSESSIVE PURIST ABOUT CANON BEING CONSISTENT IN ALL THINGS I AM IN DISAGREEMENT ON THE SUBJECT THAT THE THIRTEENTH OR FOURTEENTH OR WHATEVER DOCTOR MAY EXIST PURELY BECAUSE IT IS A SUCCESSFUL FRANCHISE, ALTHOUGH GIVEN THE RESURRECTION OF DOCTOR WHO AFTER A LONG ABSENCE AND THE ENORMOUS LACK OF CONSISTENT CANON INVOLVED A) IN ITS RESURRECTION B) IN THE ENORMOUS NUMBER OF PSEUDO-OFFICIAL SPINOFFS AND C) IN THE ORIGINAL TWENTY-SIX SERIES ANYWAY IT MAY BE A LITTLE UNCLEAR WHAT THE SPACING GUILD CONDONES AS CANON IN THE FIRST PLACE
BUT YEAH ANYWAY SUGGESTIONS FOR WHAT tentaclerodeo SHOULD GET IN THE WAY OF A NEW CAR WOULD ALSO BE APPRECIATED
NO WORRIES DUDES (AND INDEED DUDETTES)
TO ADDRESS THE FIRST POINT, I WAS YESTERDAY REPRESENTED IN CAMBRIDGE BY THE ESTIMABLE tentaclerodeo, WHO WAS MAINLY PRESENT FOR THE PURPOSES OF SCIENCE BUT ALSO FOUND TIME TO PERFORM VISITS TO VARIOUS OTHER FUNCTIONS, RESPECTABLE AND OTHERWISE; HOWEVER ON THE WAY HOME THE TUNE "AMAROK" BY MR. MIKE OLDFIELD WAS PLAYED, ALL ONE HOUR AND TWO SECONDS, OF IT AND UPON THE COMPLETION OF THIS TRACK AND ALSO OF THE MIKE OLDFIELD PLAYLIST, THE CAR BROKE DOWN IN A MANNER CONSISTENT WITH THE TRANSMISSION TEARING ITSELF APART
COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT AND WILL BE SURE TO ALWAYS KEEP MY MUSICAL ENGINE FULLY CHARGED AND LOADED WITH MIKE OLDFIELD AT ALL TIMES
SECONDLY, WHILST OUT ACCOMPLICING (IN ASSASSINS TERMS) MR. SIMEON BIRD, MR. PHILIP BIELBY AND LMM, ALONG WITH VARIOUS ACCOMPLICES, I WAS TREATED TO THE SPECTACLE OF A STRING OF EXCELLENT BACKSTABBINGS WITH SUPERSOAKERS
I MENTION THIS BECAUSE THE MOMENT WOULD THOROUGHLY HAVE BEEN SPOILT WERE IT NOT FOR THE CHORUS OF "BLAKE! HAVE YOU BETRAYED US? HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME!?" THAT ENSUED BEFORE LMM'S SUMMARY EXECUTION AT THE HANDS OF THE MASSED WARRIORS OF NEWNHAM (IF YOU ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH EITHER THE GAME OF ASSASSINS OR CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY AND THE DIVERSE PECULIARITIES OF BOTH I SUGGEST THAT A) THIS PARAGRAPH AND THE PRECEDING ONE BE IGNORED AND B) THAT YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG)
FINALLY I COME TO THE SUBJECT OF DOCTOR WHO; SUGGESTIONS HAVE BEEN MADE IN MY PRESENCE THAT SOME WAY WILL BE FOUND AROUND THE FACT THAT IN THEORY THE DOCTOR IS ONLY CAPABLE OF REGENERATING TWELVE TIMES
AS AN OBSESSIVE PURIST ABOUT CANON BEING CONSISTENT IN ALL THINGS I AM IN DISAGREEMENT ON THE SUBJECT THAT THE THIRTEENTH OR FOURTEENTH OR WHATEVER DOCTOR MAY EXIST PURELY BECAUSE IT IS A SUCCESSFUL FRANCHISE, ALTHOUGH GIVEN THE RESURRECTION OF DOCTOR WHO AFTER A LONG ABSENCE AND THE ENORMOUS LACK OF CONSISTENT CANON INVOLVED A) IN ITS RESURRECTION B) IN THE ENORMOUS NUMBER OF PSEUDO-OFFICIAL SPINOFFS AND C) IN THE ORIGINAL TWENTY-SIX SERIES ANYWAY IT MAY BE A LITTLE UNCLEAR WHAT THE SPACING GUILD CONDONES AS CANON IN THE FIRST PLACE
BUT YEAH ANYWAY SUGGESTIONS FOR WHAT tentaclerodeo SHOULD GET IN THE WAY OF A NEW CAR WOULD ALSO BE APPRECIATED
NO WORRIES DUDES (AND INDEED DUDETTES)