God is my autopilot
Saw this letter to the editor in the WW, thought it was freakin hilarious.
GOD IS MY AUTOPILOT
On a glorious Oregon morning, I step onto my deck and watch Venus and Jupiter linked in the dawn sky. In the vastness of the universe, how lucky we are to live in the one and only place where intelligent life flourishes. How wondrous it is that God created all this and that Jesus both knows and cares whether my espresso is regular or decaf.
In my reflection, I see the face of God. He is white, male, middle-aged, needs a haircut and admonishes me not to have an abortion today. I won't!
Jesus teaches me to hate all things unholy, like Arabs, queers, liberals and those funny characters from The Iliad. Oh, and blasphemers. My heart rejoices at the thought that they are burning in hell. Damn them.
What love He gives us! What soaring guidance!
I thank him for America's stash of nuclear weapons. Our tool to end the world in His name.
I will get a bigger car, some credit-card debt, eat more fat and watch more television. I will reject literature, poetry and art and learn to love football, country music, executions and George W. Bush. I will praise His name.
I will become a "mainstream" American.
God Bless You!
Michael Bailey
Northeast Halsey Street
Obligatory link here.
GOD IS MY AUTOPILOT
On a glorious Oregon morning, I step onto my deck and watch Venus and Jupiter linked in the dawn sky. In the vastness of the universe, how lucky we are to live in the one and only place where intelligent life flourishes. How wondrous it is that God created all this and that Jesus both knows and cares whether my espresso is regular or decaf.
In my reflection, I see the face of God. He is white, male, middle-aged, needs a haircut and admonishes me not to have an abortion today. I won't!
Jesus teaches me to hate all things unholy, like Arabs, queers, liberals and those funny characters from The Iliad. Oh, and blasphemers. My heart rejoices at the thought that they are burning in hell. Damn them.
What love He gives us! What soaring guidance!
I thank him for America's stash of nuclear weapons. Our tool to end the world in His name.
I will get a bigger car, some credit-card debt, eat more fat and watch more television. I will reject literature, poetry and art and learn to love football, country music, executions and George W. Bush. I will praise His name.
I will become a "mainstream" American.
God Bless You!
Michael Bailey
Northeast Halsey Street
Obligatory link here.