heart break
i have realized, during my endless nights of drinking and thinking... how much i wish i could have shown him how much i love him, and maybe get a response from him. I have finally come to realize how much i care for him, and how he doesnt feel the same. That truely hurts. I wish i could just show him, show him my feelings.. express them to him and everything will be fine. everytime i speak to him on the phone, i just want to explane everything, and come out clean, but what will that solve, while he's in Maryland, and im in Kansas city. i just can't wait for this summer to end, so i can come face to face with him, and enjoy every little moment spent with him.
Im almost tempted to call him when im drunk, and confess EVERYTHING to him... that way he and i will be on the same page, and then we can see where he wants to go from there... of course he'll prolly end up ignoring me for the rest of my life, but thats a risk im willing to take, especially for Love.
Aside from this issue, my father and I are speaking better now, and getting a long ten times better!.. that makes my life perfect. and incredibly happy... and i've been having a blast in K.C. with all my friends, i cant wait to go back to Florida with Derrek, and then we can just have fun in my new place!!.. YAY... hmmm.. life is funny
Im almost tempted to call him when im drunk, and confess EVERYTHING to him... that way he and i will be on the same page, and then we can see where he wants to go from there... of course he'll prolly end up ignoring me for the rest of my life, but thats a risk im willing to take, especially for Love.
Aside from this issue, my father and I are speaking better now, and getting a long ten times better!.. that makes my life perfect. and incredibly happy... and i've been having a blast in K.C. with all my friends, i cant wait to go back to Florida with Derrek, and then we can just have fun in my new place!!.. YAY... hmmm.. life is funny