chris hamlett breaks up after show
yes, it's true. and here's how it happened.
after the show at tipitina's last night (which, as most of you should know, was like any other chris hamlett show and only featured one person) the whole band was to meet at finnegan's for a traditional post-performance drink (or more). so naturally chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) shows up first. shortly thereafter, chris (drums/percussion) and chris (violin/cello) show up. it becomes apparent that those two are already very drunk, and chris (drums/percussion) even declares to the entire bar that the two of them had been drinking at home while chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) was playing the show. at this point the rest of the band starts trickling in: chris (trumpet), chris (bass), chris (electric guitar/backup vocals), and chris (mandolin/lagniappe). chris (piano/keyboards) is still m.i.a. at this point but no one seems to notice. chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) and chris (mandolin/lagniappe) go off to a table by themselves and start talking about doing a primarily folk-ish record. a very drunk chris (violin/cello) overhears this conversation and immediately goes into a fit of rage since he feels that his instruments would fit into a primarily folky record. when chris (bass) hears this, he immediately throws his arms up in the air and goes into another rant about how nobody cares about the bass player. chris (drums/percussion) is already throwing up in the bathroom stall since he had quietly gone to the bathroom at home before the pub to do a few lines of coke on his own. chris (trumpet) says that pretty much the entire band could be on a primarily folk record except chris (electric guitar/backup vocals), to which chris (electric guitar/backup vocals) simply responds by telling chris (trumpet) that he's the least important member of the band since he only plays one instrument. to that, chris (trumpet) replies, "At least I can read music!" which is swiftly followed by chris (electric guitar/backup vocals) punching him directly in the face. the bouncer at finnegan's quickly steps in and drags the two of them outside (not such a difficult feat since everyone in the band is notoriously frail) and tells them even while they're still punching and kicking each other that they need to leave or else he'll be forced to take more drastic action. knowing that neither of them could take the bouncer, they simply shove off each other, mutter a loud but quick "fuck you" to each other, and walk their separate ways to their respective vehicles. once chris (mandolin/lagniappe) goes outside to see what the story is and discovers that they've already left, he finds himself also upset since he's the one who everyone turns to when the songs need "a little something extra" and that's all he seems to be good for. so he walks back inside and walks directly to chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) and says, "you just lost another layer you fucking pretentious bastard" then turns and walks out the door. chris (bass) walks up to the table in an attempt to calm everyone down and bring everyone back together, but because chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) and chris (violin/cello) are so flustered they instinctively mutter "shut the fuck up" which is the last straw for chris (bass) who was already feeling unappreciated in the first place. ironically enough, at this very moment chris (drums/percussion) comes stumbling out of the bar covered in god-knows-what and starts screaming to chris (bass) that it's time for them to start that hardcore old-school punk rock band they've always wanted to do. chris (bass) thinks this is a great idea since bassists in punk rock outfits generally stand out a bit more, so the two of them stagger out into the street to go to a different bar and talk about where punk really first began. watching his band crumble before him (much like his first band), chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) starts slamming down double whiskey neats in his typical fashion. chris (violin/cello), who isn't a big drinker, is just finishing his first beer when chris (piano/keyboards) walks into the bar asking what he missed. this pisses chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) off, so he kicks his chair back and storms off to the bathroom to relieve himself. while he's gone, chris (piano/keyboards) reminds chris (violin/cello) that they had orchestra practice that night (which is why he was late) and that if chris (violin/cello) misses another practice he'll be kicked out of the orchestra. since prestige holds more potential for the future than pretentious experimental indie whatever-the-damn-they're-doing, he tells chris (piano/keyboards) that they should just focus on the classical stuff. chris (piano/keyboards) agrees, saying "i hated doing those songs where i had to play synth anyway." the two leave the bar to practice together, and when chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) gets out of the bathroom, he discovers that he is the only one in the band that hasn't abandoned the project. this depresses him greatly (especially after spending over three years trying to get this somewhere after his first band pulled this same stunt on him) so he drinks whiskey to the point of overt drunkenness, and after blacking out on the sidewalk and being taken by the police to huey p. long medical center, he wakes up and simply mutters, "i'm done."
(if you believe this, i'm truly sorry. - chris, the one and only.)
after the show at tipitina's last night (which, as most of you should know, was like any other chris hamlett show and only featured one person) the whole band was to meet at finnegan's for a traditional post-performance drink (or more). so naturally chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) shows up first. shortly thereafter, chris (drums/percussion) and chris (violin/cello) show up. it becomes apparent that those two are already very drunk, and chris (drums/percussion) even declares to the entire bar that the two of them had been drinking at home while chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) was playing the show. at this point the rest of the band starts trickling in: chris (trumpet), chris (bass), chris (electric guitar/backup vocals), and chris (mandolin/lagniappe). chris (piano/keyboards) is still m.i.a. at this point but no one seems to notice. chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) and chris (mandolin/lagniappe) go off to a table by themselves and start talking about doing a primarily folk-ish record. a very drunk chris (violin/cello) overhears this conversation and immediately goes into a fit of rage since he feels that his instruments would fit into a primarily folky record. when chris (bass) hears this, he immediately throws his arms up in the air and goes into another rant about how nobody cares about the bass player. chris (drums/percussion) is already throwing up in the bathroom stall since he had quietly gone to the bathroom at home before the pub to do a few lines of coke on his own. chris (trumpet) says that pretty much the entire band could be on a primarily folk record except chris (electric guitar/backup vocals), to which chris (electric guitar/backup vocals) simply responds by telling chris (trumpet) that he's the least important member of the band since he only plays one instrument. to that, chris (trumpet) replies, "At least I can read music!" which is swiftly followed by chris (electric guitar/backup vocals) punching him directly in the face. the bouncer at finnegan's quickly steps in and drags the two of them outside (not such a difficult feat since everyone in the band is notoriously frail) and tells them even while they're still punching and kicking each other that they need to leave or else he'll be forced to take more drastic action. knowing that neither of them could take the bouncer, they simply shove off each other, mutter a loud but quick "fuck you" to each other, and walk their separate ways to their respective vehicles. once chris (mandolin/lagniappe) goes outside to see what the story is and discovers that they've already left, he finds himself also upset since he's the one who everyone turns to when the songs need "a little something extra" and that's all he seems to be good for. so he walks back inside and walks directly to chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) and says, "you just lost another layer you fucking pretentious bastard" then turns and walks out the door. chris (bass) walks up to the table in an attempt to calm everyone down and bring everyone back together, but because chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) and chris (violin/cello) are so flustered they instinctively mutter "shut the fuck up" which is the last straw for chris (bass) who was already feeling unappreciated in the first place. ironically enough, at this very moment chris (drums/percussion) comes stumbling out of the bar covered in god-knows-what and starts screaming to chris (bass) that it's time for them to start that hardcore old-school punk rock band they've always wanted to do. chris (bass) thinks this is a great idea since bassists in punk rock outfits generally stand out a bit more, so the two of them stagger out into the street to go to a different bar and talk about where punk really first began. watching his band crumble before him (much like his first band), chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) starts slamming down double whiskey neats in his typical fashion. chris (violin/cello), who isn't a big drinker, is just finishing his first beer when chris (piano/keyboards) walks into the bar asking what he missed. this pisses chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) off, so he kicks his chair back and storms off to the bathroom to relieve himself. while he's gone, chris (piano/keyboards) reminds chris (violin/cello) that they had orchestra practice that night (which is why he was late) and that if chris (violin/cello) misses another practice he'll be kicked out of the orchestra. since prestige holds more potential for the future than pretentious experimental indie whatever-the-damn-they're-doing, he tells chris (piano/keyboards) that they should just focus on the classical stuff. chris (piano/keyboards) agrees, saying "i hated doing those songs where i had to play synth anyway." the two leave the bar to practice together, and when chris (acoustic guitar/vocals/harmonicas) gets out of the bathroom, he discovers that he is the only one in the band that hasn't abandoned the project. this depresses him greatly (especially after spending over three years trying to get this somewhere after his first band pulled this same stunt on him) so he drinks whiskey to the point of overt drunkenness, and after blacking out on the sidewalk and being taken by the police to huey p. long medical center, he wakes up and simply mutters, "i'm done."
(if you believe this, i'm truly sorry. - chris, the one and only.)