Strangers
Can't count how many times I've seen your name pop up on my msn in the past few days. I'd always make up excuses not to say hi this time around though.
"I'm using my phone's msn so the service will be bad and I'll probably have to type the same thing over and over again."
"She's never on for long, what if I only get one of those awkward 5 minute convos"
or the classic
"She's probably busy, I'll come back later"
Before I was jumping at every opportunity to talk to you because I was so excited that I had /finally/ gotten my mind sorted out and that I could try again.
But then...you treated me like a stranger. You weren't mean, you never are to strangers. But...it felt almost worse. You treated me like everyone else in there.
And...it confirmed my suspicions.
And it hurt me so much.
So much that I cried later for almost an hour. I couldn't stop and I hated it.
You are still so precious to me, but now it's like trying to catch smoke in my hands.
And I deserve it, I know but...it still hurts.
"I'm using my phone's msn so the service will be bad and I'll probably have to type the same thing over and over again."
"She's never on for long, what if I only get one of those awkward 5 minute convos"
or the classic
"She's probably busy, I'll come back later"
Before I was jumping at every opportunity to talk to you because I was so excited that I had /finally/ gotten my mind sorted out and that I could try again.
But then...you treated me like a stranger. You weren't mean, you never are to strangers. But...it felt almost worse. You treated me like everyone else in there.
And...it confirmed my suspicions.
And it hurt me so much.
So much that I cried later for almost an hour. I couldn't stop and I hated it.
You are still so precious to me, but now it's like trying to catch smoke in my hands.
And I deserve it, I know but...it still hurts.