(no subject)
I am a dancer who has totally lost her mojo.
I mean, I hear the music, but nothing is happening. It's like everything is an endless repeat of the Flower Dance.
It's offputting, given everything else is going quite well. Daughter and Husband are thriving, my physical location and job is secure, the usually awkward elements of our families are meshing together in order to behave for the sake of their granddaughter/niece. I don't remember any trauma that could have shaken me so much as to lose the plot.
So it's this one specific piece of my life that's awkward. It's not like I can't dance, muscle memory is apparently indelible enough to survive a birth, it's just I have experienced so much in the past year that it seems really shallow by comparison. I have danced every day since age seven, but I haven't always known why. What am I trying to express here?
I miss my class and my students, I miss my colleagues and my friends, I miss that daft online persona called Tyoko, but everyone seems to be moving on, and I'm wondering if I should too.
Also: This is me whining while being tired, don't take it too seriously.
I mean, I hear the music, but nothing is happening. It's like everything is an endless repeat of the Flower Dance.
It's offputting, given everything else is going quite well. Daughter and Husband are thriving, my physical location and job is secure, the usually awkward elements of our families are meshing together in order to behave for the sake of their granddaughter/niece. I don't remember any trauma that could have shaken me so much as to lose the plot.
So it's this one specific piece of my life that's awkward. It's not like I can't dance, muscle memory is apparently indelible enough to survive a birth, it's just I have experienced so much in the past year that it seems really shallow by comparison. I have danced every day since age seven, but I haven't always known why. What am I trying to express here?
I miss my class and my students, I miss my colleagues and my friends, I miss that daft online persona called Tyoko, but everyone seems to be moving on, and I'm wondering if I should too.
Also: This is me whining while being tired, don't take it too seriously.