Purina ONE - to the tune of 'One' (Metallica)

[tylwythtegs]

So. It all started with Guitar Hero III. I'm loving this game, so much. Anyway, playing 'One' reminded me just how much I love the song. I was remarking to Tim how incredibly incredible it is, which is a shame because its lyrics and subject are so depressing. And I said it would be better if the song was about cute, fluffy kittens.

This will probably only be halfway interesting if you know the song.

I love playing with a string
I love licking puddles of cream
I'd eat a chicken softball team
this tiny stomach stops me!

now naptime is over for me
I'm waking up, I cannot see
there's still blankets over me
can I has some yum foods now?

growling tum as I wish for yum
oh please dude, feed me!

back in the kitchen it's smelly
the humans are watching telly
but I want pilchards in jelly
look to the time when I'll eat

fed through the day not often enough
I really think i've got it rough
I really love that human stuff
but I'll eat anything!

growling tum as I wish for yum
oh please dude, feed me!

now I'm done with Purina One
oh dude, pat me on my tum as I wish for yum

screen door imprisoning me
all that I see
birds in the back yard
I cannot chase
I cannot eat
trapped in the house
let me out - let me in!

humans have taken my fun
taken my bird
taken my chicken
taken my dirt
taken my bugs
taken my sun
left me with life inside!