The Nature of Forgiveness

[tylinhae]

It isn't at all an uncommon thing that as I lie awake at night struggling to sleep, I find myself wondering about things. Often they're idle little things. Some times I hit on something a bit more interesting. This particular morning I find myself wondering about human nature

Comments

[wintersillusion]

This is a very very difficult question. Many times in my life I've run into situations that I'd had the occasion to think upon in the past and thought I would react one way when I really ended up reacting another way. Case in point, I always thought girls who let guys beat them because they loved them were stupid and I never understood where their logic came from. Then, my first "boyfriend" used to push me when we fought and I would just push him back. My best friend yelled at me constantly that I was letting him behave in a way he shouldn't have. I was a stupid girl who thought I needed to stay with him because he loved me. After that, now I understand a bit more why someone would do something like that but with the distance from me and this relationship, I'm once again wondering how anyone could be that stupid and why I ever put up with that. I don't care if I was a teenager, being a teenager doesn't mean I have to be stupid, right.

Forgiveness is actually a thing I have a huge problem with. I have had the naive tendency in my life to forgive people and have then through their same transgressions back into my face, re-wounding me. So, I have actually been thinking on forgiveness a lot lately and wondering why there are certain people in my life who I just cannot forgive even though I know that they are sorry. I do believe that it is also to the extent at which I think they are sorry. BUT, because of this, I am not sure I could forgive the person. I know I would want to. I've had many people tell me that I am often too nice because I empathize with others a lot and do tend to forgive often when I can put myself in someone else's shoes. However, this has proven not to be the case when the offense against me is very painful. I DO believe, however, that I would not force punishment on the person, even if I could not forgive him/her. I just can't see liking myself much after doing that.