Irony
Irony is when a 19 year old who had a child out of wedlock tries to lecture me on the values of christianity (Travis and Renoites will know who I'm talkin' about). Then this girl has the audacity to say "There is a break in the Creation story to emphasize the creation of Man by God so we see that man is very important. The 1st chapter running into the second describes the creation in a whole without much detail of mans creation. The end is very well detailed of 2 to explain the 6h day for us. Any semi decent liturararian can see the linguistic change for the reader. It is telling the whole of a story and then seeing the detailed part of the most important day gone over again so as to understand it better. God did it this way to prove the evolutionists wrong and make there claims look stupid."
I shit you not.
We've been having this little philosophical discussion after I put up a picture of Jesus that offended her. She writes:
"anybody can claim God. but that doesn't necisarily mean anything. but i am curious... feel free not to share.. but what about religion offends you? what do you believe? most people believe something.. or in something for that matter. "
to which I respond:
"to save myself from going on some lengtly diatribe, i'll give you this to watch. it's got a majority of my reasons, not including the number of cultures it's wiped out, and its inherent racism and sexism.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9162292468797126455&q=bible+bullshit&pl=true
I believe in being a good person and having fun while you're at it. I believe in honesty, integrity, responsibility, accountability, experience, comedy, free thought, honor and love. I believe life is fun and death is sad, but no more meaningful than rock being thrown in a pond. I tried going to Youth Group and sunday school and all that, and the only thing it made me think was "man this stuff is garbage. Who in the right mind could believe this crap?" (No offence, just opinion) What I don't believe in is some patriarchal robed figure dictating my life, and I feel much more free because of it.
<3"
and then she hits me with that honking piece of stupid up top.
That was probably the most grossly retarded thing I've ever heard. I know that part of religion is making it up as you go along to fit contemporary cultural forces that woiuld otherwise prove youre silly little brinwash technique wrong, but don't you think that's pushing it a little?
Also, I recommend you watch this. It is teh funny.
In other news; I got honored during the print law seminar last friday. We have to go to this thing once a quarter where a lawyer explains to us print kids how we can get sued. She supplies everybody with these pamphlets that have an area of information followed by one of the UCSC print associations' articles. We get to the "Obscenity" area of the lecture and she instructs us to flip to the article page. I turn casually and lo and behold, printed in the pamphlet is my Beatin' Around the Bush story (not political). To paraphrase Foo (who is thoroughly inebriated):
The douchy new CHP editor decides to open his/her yapper and says "This is pretty much an open-and-shut case of obscenity. It regards different shapes of bikini waxes and has a bunch of vaginas. What is the artistic, political or social value of this article? It's just obscene."
Foo raises her hand.
"I'm sorry, did you have a question?" the laywer asked, pointing at Foo.
"Well, I think that it isn't overtly lewd, and that it actually is a rather functional piece," she said. "I think that this is a great informational article on sex, like, I never knew that a Cosmopolitan (heart shaped bush) was unnattractive before I read it, and now I'm not going to do that anymore." The room started laughing. "And this isn't any worse than what you would see in a Cosmo magazine. Cosmo has articles on, like, how to give a blowjob. This is just how to pluck your bush. It's much less extreme. And we have to take into consideration the audience--college students are going to read this, we're not just, like, passing it out to little kids in the street." I saw Kam's shoulders shaking in front of me.
The lawyer nodded. "So maybe this isn't such a bad article after all?"
A CHP bitch who had been being a turd all day spoke up. "But it isn't just distributed on campus. It's distributed within the community, where children could see it."
Oh, give me a break, lady. It's distributed in, like, The Nick and maybe a couple of hipster coffee shops. Big little kid hot spots, I'm sure.
"Yes, but Cosmopolitan is distributed within all drug stores, and any five year old could go and buy one. It's up to parents to censor kid's reading, that's their responsibility," Foo said.
"I agree with Stephanie," Hickey said. "Cosmo has tons worse stuff than we ever do."
"I don't know..I think it's pretty obscene," said the asshole CHP editor behind Foo. "It is totally something you would see in a pornographic magazine, like Playboy."
"But are magazines like Playboy even pornography?" the lawyer said. She seemed to have turned."Or are they art? A woman's body is a beautiful thing."
"Playboy has articles about wine, too, and they're not obscene," Foo chipped in.
"So I think we can conclude that this isn't really obscene after all," the lawyer chirped, like she'd had that thought all along, but was just waiting for us to figure it out. (ugh.) "It has an artistic and social value, it gives advice...as you said, right?"
"Well, I'm just saying that it was beneficial to me, personally." I said. The room busted up. Foo looked at me raising my eyebrows across the room. She enjoys being a crowd-pleaser.
After the meeting, Kam gave me a hug, said, "Shit, man, you're famous!" and gave me a pat on the back. We, the Fish Rap, in one giant smiling group, made our triumphant way down the stairs and out the door. We went to Joe's to get beers and Janelle got us Cokes for the Jack, Foo drank mine and they smoked and we laughed at CHP.
One more thing, hahaha. I don't remember why but I was really agitated last weekend about something. Marika and I were walking down pacific, I think going to ge shakes and this 5 year old girl is behind us with her mom totally doing that bullshit bratty pseudo-cry thing little brats do. They're behind us for a couple blocks and this little she-devil just makes me hit my peak, so I turn around and look at her and yell "SHUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP."
The girl is immediately silenced and has eyes the size of dinner plates, while (and this is the best part) the mom tries to stifle her own laughter. Marika and I keep walking but can't help from busting up laughing. She thinks it's sexy when I'm a jerk on occasion. Last time I jerkified I told the super silver sale person on the corner to fuck off when they ran up and did their little "SUPER SILVER SALE!" shenanigans. God I hate super silver sale. God I hate god.
PS- go drag your dumb friends to see Why We Fight. It's kind of a no-brainer for those of us that read the news, though there is some good stuff on Eisenhower, and more than likely it'll piss off your uneducated friends while getting you all riled up
I shit you not.
We've been having this little philosophical discussion after I put up a picture of Jesus that offended her. She writes:
"anybody can claim God. but that doesn't necisarily mean anything. but i am curious... feel free not to share.. but what about religion offends you? what do you believe? most people believe something.. or in something for that matter. "
to which I respond:
"to save myself from going on some lengtly diatribe, i'll give you this to watch. it's got a majority of my reasons, not including the number of cultures it's wiped out, and its inherent racism and sexism.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9162292468797126455&q=bible+bullshit&pl=true
I believe in being a good person and having fun while you're at it. I believe in honesty, integrity, responsibility, accountability, experience, comedy, free thought, honor and love. I believe life is fun and death is sad, but no more meaningful than rock being thrown in a pond. I tried going to Youth Group and sunday school and all that, and the only thing it made me think was "man this stuff is garbage. Who in the right mind could believe this crap?" (No offence, just opinion) What I don't believe in is some patriarchal robed figure dictating my life, and I feel much more free because of it.
<3"
and then she hits me with that honking piece of stupid up top.
That was probably the most grossly retarded thing I've ever heard. I know that part of religion is making it up as you go along to fit contemporary cultural forces that woiuld otherwise prove youre silly little brinwash technique wrong, but don't you think that's pushing it a little?
Also, I recommend you watch this. It is teh funny.
In other news; I got honored during the print law seminar last friday. We have to go to this thing once a quarter where a lawyer explains to us print kids how we can get sued. She supplies everybody with these pamphlets that have an area of information followed by one of the UCSC print associations' articles. We get to the "Obscenity" area of the lecture and she instructs us to flip to the article page. I turn casually and lo and behold, printed in the pamphlet is my Beatin' Around the Bush story (not political). To paraphrase Foo (who is thoroughly inebriated):
The douchy new CHP editor decides to open his/her yapper and says "This is pretty much an open-and-shut case of obscenity. It regards different shapes of bikini waxes and has a bunch of vaginas. What is the artistic, political or social value of this article? It's just obscene."
Foo raises her hand.
"I'm sorry, did you have a question?" the laywer asked, pointing at Foo.
"Well, I think that it isn't overtly lewd, and that it actually is a rather functional piece," she said. "I think that this is a great informational article on sex, like, I never knew that a Cosmopolitan (heart shaped bush) was unnattractive before I read it, and now I'm not going to do that anymore." The room started laughing. "And this isn't any worse than what you would see in a Cosmo magazine. Cosmo has articles on, like, how to give a blowjob. This is just how to pluck your bush. It's much less extreme. And we have to take into consideration the audience--college students are going to read this, we're not just, like, passing it out to little kids in the street." I saw Kam's shoulders shaking in front of me.
The lawyer nodded. "So maybe this isn't such a bad article after all?"
A CHP bitch who had been being a turd all day spoke up. "But it isn't just distributed on campus. It's distributed within the community, where children could see it."
Oh, give me a break, lady. It's distributed in, like, The Nick and maybe a couple of hipster coffee shops. Big little kid hot spots, I'm sure.
"Yes, but Cosmopolitan is distributed within all drug stores, and any five year old could go and buy one. It's up to parents to censor kid's reading, that's their responsibility," Foo said.
"I agree with Stephanie," Hickey said. "Cosmo has tons worse stuff than we ever do."
"I don't know..I think it's pretty obscene," said the asshole CHP editor behind Foo. "It is totally something you would see in a pornographic magazine, like Playboy."
"But are magazines like Playboy even pornography?" the lawyer said. She seemed to have turned."Or are they art? A woman's body is a beautiful thing."
"Playboy has articles about wine, too, and they're not obscene," Foo chipped in.
"So I think we can conclude that this isn't really obscene after all," the lawyer chirped, like she'd had that thought all along, but was just waiting for us to figure it out. (ugh.) "It has an artistic and social value, it gives advice...as you said, right?"
"Well, I'm just saying that it was beneficial to me, personally." I said. The room busted up. Foo looked at me raising my eyebrows across the room. She enjoys being a crowd-pleaser.
After the meeting, Kam gave me a hug, said, "Shit, man, you're famous!" and gave me a pat on the back. We, the Fish Rap, in one giant smiling group, made our triumphant way down the stairs and out the door. We went to Joe's to get beers and Janelle got us Cokes for the Jack, Foo drank mine and they smoked and we laughed at CHP.
One more thing, hahaha. I don't remember why but I was really agitated last weekend about something. Marika and I were walking down pacific, I think going to ge shakes and this 5 year old girl is behind us with her mom totally doing that bullshit bratty pseudo-cry thing little brats do. They're behind us for a couple blocks and this little she-devil just makes me hit my peak, so I turn around and look at her and yell "SHUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP."
The girl is immediately silenced and has eyes the size of dinner plates, while (and this is the best part) the mom tries to stifle her own laughter. Marika and I keep walking but can't help from busting up laughing. She thinks it's sexy when I'm a jerk on occasion. Last time I jerkified I told the super silver sale person on the corner to fuck off when they ran up and did their little "SUPER SILVER SALE!" shenanigans. God I hate super silver sale. God I hate god.
PS- go drag your dumb friends to see Why We Fight. It's kind of a no-brainer for those of us that read the news, though there is some good stuff on Eisenhower, and more than likely it'll piss off your uneducated friends while getting you all riled up