Things that piss me off
-People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I
know where my watch is buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I
point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
-The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no dick.
-When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it
too".Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat?
What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?
-When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of
course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've
found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
-When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No, I paid $7.50 to come to the theater and stare at the friggin'ceiling up there. What did you come here for?
-The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band.
Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive
sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for chrissakes!
-People, who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give
me a choice, did ya there buddy?
-When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement, then there must have been something before it.
-When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you
were going. You should know asshole; you fucking pulled me over.
know where my watch is buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I
point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
-The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy considering he has no dick.
-When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it
too".Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat?
What, should I eat someone else's cake instead?
-When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of
course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've
found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
-When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No, I paid $7.50 to come to the theater and stare at the friggin'ceiling up there. What did you come here for?
-The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band.
Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive
sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for chrissakes!
-People, who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give
me a choice, did ya there buddy?
-When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an
improvement, then there must have been something before it.
-When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you
were going. You should know asshole; you fucking pulled me over.