A sleepy girl's ramblings
All right, it's almost 5 in the morning, I have to wake up at 9:30, and I cannot seem to go to sleep. So, since this is basically the end of my first year of college, I have decided to reflect and talk about the important things that I have learned.
Do what you want, not what others want you to do. Now this doesn't mean hurt anyone including yourself. That's a bad idea. In fact, I'm mainly saying don't do what everyone wants you to if you don't. I've learned that if something feels like a bad idea, like you shouldn't go somewhere, don't. You'll find out that usually it's the best things to do.
Be you and don't feel bad for being you. You're amazing, I mean that with anyone reading this. Maybe you're not perfect, but who the fuck is? Perfect isn't synonymous with ideal. No one wants someone who's perfect. You reach your ideal person when you decide to let go of responsibilities to others. You shouldn't, for example, help your friend with his homework because you have to. You should be doing it because you love them and want to. Do what you do not because of duty, but because of heart.
Don't do weed. Yea, well, don't do weed if you're me... yuck.
Drink if you want, just don't let it interfere with school, friends, family, loves, LIFE. If you are not doing what you are supposed to because you are drinking, or because of ANYTHING for that matter, you shouldn't fucking be doing it. I, luckily haven't done that, and won't, in regards to anything.
I've realized this year the people who are the most true to me. You know who you are, you know I feel this way, and that is all that matters. I've been through a lot over the years, I'm not saying I've had a hard life, I'm normal and have been through a lot, and there are people who have been there for me and those who haven't. And just because I haven't talked to you everyday, every week, every month, doesn't mean I don't love and adore you. Actually, now that I think about it, some of you may not know how much you mean to me, hopefully I'll show you.
I've also realized I am lucky. I am good. If people don't like me, fuck them. I am trying my hardest in life, and people do in fact notice that. People respect me, people love me. This may seem arrogant, stupid, annoying, but this is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to learn. That I am truly ok and no one has actually hated me because of me. Yes, I've done some stupid things, but like I've said, regret is pointless, you can only learn from your mistakes, improve, evolve, move on.
If I've wronged you, I'm sorry. If you miss me, let me know. Actually just say something to me, post SOMETHING. It will make my day. I've been nostalgic lately, it's kinda interesting, so drop me a line if I haven't talked to you in a while.
This was the most rambling piece of shit I have ever written, but whatever, it's here, it's being posted. Enjoy. Oh, and btw, GO CANES.