Passions
I am rather excited about Mel Gibson's new movie coming out tomorrow.
Sometimes I wonder if I like all this stuff because I am searching for
faith or I am looking for a reason to prove what little faith I have
wrong. Either way any movie where the lead gets nailed to a cross and
then during filming gets hit by lightning is worth seeing in my book.
Mike asked me how I can rationalize teaching religion when I don't
necessarily believe in what I teach. This is something I have struggled
with a lot over the past several years. I find myself fighting the urge
to share all the things I have learned about Catholicism. But then I
think back on who I blame for my fall from faith. I realize that I have
never blamed my teachers for sharing their faith with me and showing me
the "truthes" of the Catholic faith....I have always blamed the
Catholic church itself for hiding the truth from me. It is odd that no
matter how far I fall from faith I feel inexplicably tied to the faith
I once had. I still want to believe in Heaven...and I want to be
married in a Catholic Church...and put out a manger scene at
Christmas...How do I rationalize that? THe reality is I don't. I just
know that I am ok with my semi-faith and perhaps that is what allows me
to go in and paint a rosey picture for my students. It comorts me in
someways....almost as if through teaching the children about Jesus I am
preventing a trip to hell when I die. Geez....Catholic guilt....gotta
love it.