In which I share a rant with folks
I've let this thing simmer in my mind today, mostly in an attempt to ensure that I didn't just fly off the handle. Simmering's done. While the rush of anger I feel is squarely centered on one, it's better if I put it down for everyone to see.
I'll lay this out in a series of strikes so everyone will be able to see them clearly.*
Strike 1: To say that I was insulted the first time I read the comment in a previous email about the vectoring needing to be done for the storyboards--or as they've been recently called, breakdowns--for the sake of my hands, is a bit of an understatement. You can be damned sure that if I can't hold my tablet pen or a Conte` Crayon then there's no bloody way I'm going to be using a mouse either.
Strike 2: Being told that I "have to" do something because someone else is doing it is a really bad way to get me interested in something. Considering that I'm still working on getting the hang of certain aspects of three different art programs already, adding a fourth isn't going to make my life any easier.
There is, of course, the added bonus** of my computer being on its last legs.
In addition to that, there is the fact that I don't function the way 'normal' people do. While something may be, in general, intuitive for users and made to be simple, I still may not get it. My brain doesn't connect things as "A-B-C"; it connects more like "A-B-there's an awesome article here about that skin-spray gun that was made to help burn victims-C". So what is simple for some isn't always simple for me.
Strike 3: "overly diplomatic." Let me get this straight. You think that my being calm and negotiable in my emails is being 'overly diplomatic'?*** You're wrong.
What you perceive as me being 'overly diplomatic' is actually me being mild with my diplomacy. I didn't strike fear in the hearts of my teachers over the years by being an angry person; I did it with being clear, calm, and careful in my words and cadence.
You're Out: Being treated as though I have no knowledge of artists that have come before me is something that irks me. Being treated as though I have no idea what I'm doing with my artistic style results in me grinding my teeth while I try to grin and bear it.
But when someone goes so far as to say, however unintentionally and or 'gently' insinuated, that I can't do my assigned job, that my hard work is somehow worthless, and that my assigned job should be revoked from me?
That's the last fucking straw.
You want me to be honest? I'm being honest.
I tried. I really did. I wanted to learn things, I wanted to get better with my work. I was hoping that I could gain another art friend. But all I was getting in return boiled down to the fact that I'm never going to be seen as anything more than a child at best.
I've even tried to hold back on my language, instead of resorting to swearing in a manner that would make Howard Stern cover his ears in shock.
And yes there are some things that are done by [redacted] that I might not agree with, but as far as this project is concerned, he is the boss and therefore I should approach my dislike of things with him in as calm a manner as I can.
But the next time that something comes across to my inbox that translates into YOU wanting control of things or YOU wanting the names of people for the credits (which we haven't even decided on!) or YOU wanting me to do something because YOU think that it's somehow going to be better or faster or whatnot? My diplomacy will not be present. What will be present is the clear and undeniable response of the fact that I've got a ground-glass object that you can shove up next to your colon right before I send you sideways down the freeway on an unsanded wood pogo stick.
You have damaged my calm.
In visual terms:
*"I'll be sure to use small words so you'll understand, you warthog faced buffoon"
**see also: not a bonus at all.
***cue harsh laughter.
TLDR: Bees. My god. Also, I need a soundtrack for when I go conquer a few countries.
I'll lay this out in a series of strikes so everyone will be able to see them clearly.*
Strike 1: To say that I was insulted the first time I read the comment in a previous email about the vectoring needing to be done for the storyboards--or as they've been recently called, breakdowns--for the sake of my hands, is a bit of an understatement. You can be damned sure that if I can't hold my tablet pen or a Conte` Crayon then there's no bloody way I'm going to be using a mouse either.
Strike 2: Being told that I "have to" do something because someone else is doing it is a really bad way to get me interested in something. Considering that I'm still working on getting the hang of certain aspects of three different art programs already, adding a fourth isn't going to make my life any easier.
There is, of course, the added bonus** of my computer being on its last legs.
In addition to that, there is the fact that I don't function the way 'normal' people do. While something may be, in general, intuitive for users and made to be simple, I still may not get it. My brain doesn't connect things as "A-B-C"; it connects more like "A-B-there's an awesome article here about that skin-spray gun that was made to help burn victims-C". So what is simple for some isn't always simple for me.
Strike 3: "overly diplomatic." Let me get this straight. You think that my being calm and negotiable in my emails is being 'overly diplomatic'?*** You're wrong.
What you perceive as me being 'overly diplomatic' is actually me being mild with my diplomacy. I didn't strike fear in the hearts of my teachers over the years by being an angry person; I did it with being clear, calm, and careful in my words and cadence.
You're Out: Being treated as though I have no knowledge of artists that have come before me is something that irks me. Being treated as though I have no idea what I'm doing with my artistic style results in me grinding my teeth while I try to grin and bear it.
But when someone goes so far as to say, however unintentionally and or 'gently' insinuated, that I can't do my assigned job, that my hard work is somehow worthless, and that my assigned job should be revoked from me?
That's the last fucking straw.
You want me to be honest? I'm being honest.
I tried. I really did. I wanted to learn things, I wanted to get better with my work. I was hoping that I could gain another art friend. But all I was getting in return boiled down to the fact that I'm never going to be seen as anything more than a child at best.
I've even tried to hold back on my language, instead of resorting to swearing in a manner that would make Howard Stern cover his ears in shock.
And yes there are some things that are done by [redacted] that I might not agree with, but as far as this project is concerned, he is the boss and therefore I should approach my dislike of things with him in as calm a manner as I can.
But the next time that something comes across to my inbox that translates into YOU wanting control of things or YOU wanting the names of people for the credits (which we haven't even decided on!) or YOU wanting me to do something because YOU think that it's somehow going to be better or faster or whatnot? My diplomacy will not be present. What will be present is the clear and undeniable response of the fact that I've got a ground-glass object that you can shove up next to your colon right before I send you sideways down the freeway on an unsanded wood pogo stick.
You have damaged my calm.
In visual terms:
*"I'll be sure to use small words so you'll understand, you warthog faced buffoon"
**see also: not a bonus at all.
***cue harsh laughter.
TLDR: Bees. My god. Also, I need a soundtrack for when I go conquer a few countries.