dexa
So - Today I'm feeling really ill. I'm not sure it is. But I have tried all the basics: Sleep, food, relaxing, meds, water. I hope this isn't something serious; I hate being sick.
I don't think that I want to be friends with Nick... I mean, I want to be - I don't think I can. I guess I have never really experience a breakup before. But it makes me not want to be in relationships. What if someone breaks up with me again? And I for sure don't want to make someone feel like this. This is the worst feeling I have ever felt. So rejected - especially since he is talking to Leo again.
--It hurts me to think that he is going to be involved with that group, potentially get back into drugs. Even if we were just friends and everything was fine, I wouldn't be able to handle being friends withone as amazing as he is ruining his life.
I wish I was bad.
Bad people tend to not have any care in the world. They get over feeling easily and quickly... probably because they lack sympathy. Oh how easy it would be to just drop all the problems and explaint that ' I just don't care'.
Problem: I do.
I care far too much. To top it off, I'm lazy. How does that work? Answer: I pick-and-choose. I pick what is important and work hard at those things while others tend to suffer from lack of attention. Some people call this prioritising... I just suck.
Advice from friends...
I have gotten so much advice from friends... all of which is completely valid. Some more vague than others and others offering pretty irrational approaches. I know what is right now me. I can preach and preach all the good and bad, but for some reason I can't seem to get myself to act in a certain way. I wish this wasn't the case.
--
Anyway... tomorrow I have work at 630. I know that it will be a long drawn out day, only because I have the worst headache. I kind of wish I could call out, but staffing is poor and I would feel bad.
...doop doo...
I don't think that I want to be friends with Nick... I mean, I want to be - I don't think I can. I guess I have never really experience a breakup before. But it makes me not want to be in relationships. What if someone breaks up with me again? And I for sure don't want to make someone feel like this. This is the worst feeling I have ever felt. So rejected - especially since he is talking to Leo again.
--It hurts me to think that he is going to be involved with that group, potentially get back into drugs. Even if we were just friends and everything was fine, I wouldn't be able to handle being friends withone as amazing as he is ruining his life.
I wish I was bad.
Bad people tend to not have any care in the world. They get over feeling easily and quickly... probably because they lack sympathy. Oh how easy it would be to just drop all the problems and explaint that ' I just don't care'.
Problem: I do.
I care far too much. To top it off, I'm lazy. How does that work? Answer: I pick-and-choose. I pick what is important and work hard at those things while others tend to suffer from lack of attention. Some people call this prioritising... I just suck.
Advice from friends...
I have gotten so much advice from friends... all of which is completely valid. Some more vague than others and others offering pretty irrational approaches. I know what is right now me. I can preach and preach all the good and bad, but for some reason I can't seem to get myself to act in a certain way. I wish this wasn't the case.
--
Anyway... tomorrow I have work at 630. I know that it will be a long drawn out day, only because I have the worst headache. I kind of wish I could call out, but staffing is poor and I would feel bad.
...doop doo...