not sure if anyone will read this journal anymore, but it's worth a shot...
And yet, another post from me!
That was my vow for this year. To post more. A vow and a suggestion from my Psychiatrist. Yeah you read that right... Psychiatrist. I've never made it a secret that I had some "mental" issues. Was told by one doctor that I was Bipolar. Okay, fine. He gave me the meds and sent me on my way. I was fine... dealt with all my issues.
Until the day I couldn't deal with them. I literally had to drag my ass out of the bed to go to work. Other days, I was spending money (money I didn't have, mind ya) on useless shit I didn't need. Being anti-social, to the point where I have a small number of friends. Many days, I would cry at the drop of a hat - about stupid shit. And I do mean stupid shit. For example: I was at work one night, before clocking in. There is a TV in the break room... Entertainment Tonight was on. They were showing a segment about Anne Geddes and her photography. It showed this 15 yrs old girl, who had been a premature baby photographed by Anne, being photographed with a baby who was born the same exact weight she was born. Well... I'm watching this... BAWLING my fucking eyes out! See, stupid shit!
So finally, decided to go to a Psychiatrist and see what he said. Well... not only did he give me happy pills, but I got 2 different happy pills! He wouldn't diagnose me formally; however, informally, he thought that I had Bipolar symptoms with obsessive compulsive disorder tendencies. The last part surprised me. I always thought people who had OCD were those "freaks" who washed their hands over and over and over... you get the gist. Yet, some of the things I told him fit in the category. My emotional eating. Eating til all the food is gone. Over spending; spending money when I have none; being a neat freak one day & the next, you need a shovel to get through the door. I always just thought it was just me being lazy. LOL Well, I did!
My doctor gave me Topamax (which I had taken before) for the Bipolor symptoms and Prozac for the OCD symptoms. Been taking them since Dec 28 and... not sure if I can tell if it's been working.
As you can tell from my icon *points to my pretty icon*, I've been sick. Like dying sick. Worst head cold/upper respiratory infection I've had in a year. Just now feeling like I haven't been ran over. I hope tomorrow I feel like doing something. Like... cleaning! Taking down the Christmas tree! OMG! Cleaning my bedroom!
My vow with this journal: to update at least 3 days a week. If not more. If not for people who may or may not read it anymore. But for me. To vent, to get my thoughts out. If I can do that and with the help of the happy pills... maybe 2011 will be a wonderful year for me.
That was my vow for this year. To post more. A vow and a suggestion from my Psychiatrist. Yeah you read that right... Psychiatrist. I've never made it a secret that I had some "mental" issues. Was told by one doctor that I was Bipolar. Okay, fine. He gave me the meds and sent me on my way. I was fine... dealt with all my issues.
Until the day I couldn't deal with them. I literally had to drag my ass out of the bed to go to work. Other days, I was spending money (money I didn't have, mind ya) on useless shit I didn't need. Being anti-social, to the point where I have a small number of friends. Many days, I would cry at the drop of a hat - about stupid shit. And I do mean stupid shit. For example: I was at work one night, before clocking in. There is a TV in the break room... Entertainment Tonight was on. They were showing a segment about Anne Geddes and her photography. It showed this 15 yrs old girl, who had been a premature baby photographed by Anne, being photographed with a baby who was born the same exact weight she was born. Well... I'm watching this... BAWLING my fucking eyes out! See, stupid shit!
So finally, decided to go to a Psychiatrist and see what he said. Well... not only did he give me happy pills, but I got 2 different happy pills! He wouldn't diagnose me formally; however, informally, he thought that I had Bipolar symptoms with obsessive compulsive disorder tendencies. The last part surprised me. I always thought people who had OCD were those "freaks" who washed their hands over and over and over... you get the gist. Yet, some of the things I told him fit in the category. My emotional eating. Eating til all the food is gone. Over spending; spending money when I have none; being a neat freak one day & the next, you need a shovel to get through the door. I always just thought it was just me being lazy. LOL Well, I did!
My doctor gave me Topamax (which I had taken before) for the Bipolor symptoms and Prozac for the OCD symptoms. Been taking them since Dec 28 and... not sure if I can tell if it's been working.
As you can tell from my icon *points to my pretty icon*, I've been sick. Like dying sick. Worst head cold/upper respiratory infection I've had in a year. Just now feeling like I haven't been ran over. I hope tomorrow I feel like doing something. Like... cleaning! Taking down the Christmas tree! OMG! Cleaning my bedroom!
My vow with this journal: to update at least 3 days a week. If not more. If not for people who may or may not read it anymore. But for me. To vent, to get my thoughts out. If I can do that and with the help of the happy pills... maybe 2011 will be a wonderful year for me.