Life Tends To Hit All At Once...
It has been a very difficult two months for me; it is getting increasingly difficult to stay strong and not cry whine too much. So, for the time being, I have decided to come here to air my grievences and stresses, and hope that it is cathartic enough to get me through another month.
I requested a week off for Christmas last April, knowing that it is a difficult time to get time off. I do this once every two years, so that we can spend every other Christmas with my husband's family in California. It was approved, no impending problems. My husband used his benefits (he works for an airline) to purchase three roundtrip tickets for our family.
Then life hit the fan in the summer (see previous entry) and we ended up moving further south. I transferred job locations in June. I immediately informed my new boss that I needed that week off. In June. Six MONTHS in advance. I was given the runnaround and told maybe, and a lot of disapproving noises and guilt-trips were made. I fought for it, since we had already purchased tickets and she was being given plenty of notice, and finally won.
About three weeks before we left, my family lost one of it's senior members. I, of course, could not ask for time off to attend the memorial service because my work was already being "so generous" giving me "a whole week" at Christmas, our busiest time of the year. Taking more time off at this time was more or less out of the question.
So, we went to California. It was a good week--but not really a vacation as one tends to think of them. There were a lot of people to see and activities to do, and it was busy. Fun, but busy. Returning home, I did not feel as if I had rested at all. Upon my return, there was, of course, more issues with time off. I had recently hired a new part-time nanny (see next section), and two weeks after her hire date she was in the urgent care with a violent case of the flu.
It happens, I know this. I was understanding, didn't give her a hard time despite now finding myself in a very difficult position. I know had to explain to my boss, two days after I came home from vacation, that I would not be coming in to work. All I will say about that is that was a very uncomfortable conversation. I was told I needed to be in early the following Monday to try to catch up. I texted the nanny, she said that was fine.
Then she tried to take an alternate route to my home and wound up lost. The result is that I was 45 minutes late, a mere 15 minutes earlier than I would normally have arrived. My boss was not impressed, to say the least.
I found out a week later (mid-January) that my family lost another senior member. Her funeral was scheduled for the ONE Saturday my office is open. It is not possible to find someone to cover a Saturday shift. Everyone has to work the Saturdays we are open, and there is a shortage of people currently holding my position. So. I will not be attending this funeral either. I didn't even bother to bring it up to my boss. I have also moved a doctor appointment out two months in order to get my daughter's first birthday off.
Ugh, life.
So, moving on. My part-time nanny of six months gave notice early December This was actually the best possible timing if it had to happen; because I had the rare opportunity of a three day weekend to schedule interviews. My three day weekends occur about once every three months or so. They are one of the few times that I feel like I get caught up on what needs to be done at home...and actually get a day off to see my family or have a "pajama day."
I scheduled nine interviews over the course of three days. Of those nine, three showed up, one per day. Of the six who didn't show up, one called ahead to tell me. I spent the ENTIRITY of my precious three day weekend waiting around my house, getting none of errends done and seeing none of my family for people who couldn't even be bothered to be polite enough to call to say they weren't coming. I tried to contact all five of the no-shows by phone and email to find out if they were lost, or running late. None of them replied. Feeling justified in doing so, I wrote disapproving reviews on all of their pages about the lack of professionalism displayed.
Would you believe that four of the five suddenly and immediately had time to email/call me to tell me about their "family emergency?" Apparently all four of them had a family emergency in the same weekend that was so stressful and dire that it wasn't worth their work reputation to text until after they had seen the consequences. The fifth no-show cited (rather whiningly) a migraine. I informed them all that I was very sorry that they were having trouble in their personal lives, but I cannot afford to hire someone whose family emergency or migraine might prevent them from showing up at work without bothering to call, and that I would not be removing my review, as it is my honest assesment of my experiance with them. Believe it or not, my time is valuble, too, and the simple process of a phone call, email or text would have meant that I could have spent that time taking my daughter to see her grandmother or running errends.
I looked at my list of three interviewees, and hired a lady that I felt comfortable with. She immediately got sick then was late, resulting in previously mentioned drama.
I have been considering seeking different employment for a while now. In part because of what happened above. In a corperation I should be able to request time off half a year in advance and not get guilt tripped about it, and call in sick when emergencies or family deaths happen--especially if I have the Paid TIme Off to cover it (and I do, even after my vacation and personal day, I have almost 60 hours of accrued paid time off).
I've sent out a few resumes, and I had an interview this Thursday. After an intensive three and a half hour interview, I was offerred a very good opportunity. Slightly less money, but better hours. Slightly worse drive, but a serious learning opportunity. It will be a tough transition, but very possibly very worth it. I have been seriously considering it these last couple days. I have promised to give my answer by today.
The same evening I interviewed, I found out from a co-worker that my current boss was concerned that I was not "Happy" with where I was, and asked my co-worker if she thought that I needed "retention incentives" or if I was just going through something. My co-worker being the wonderful and amazing friend she is, immediately responded that she did believe that a raise and better hours would be a solid decision if they want to keep me. Bless her heart.
True to my co-worker's head's up, my boss called me into her office yesterday to ask what she could do in order to make me happier in the work place. We discussed a lot of options, one of which was earlier hours and a small hike in pay. I was honest that I had been on interview and was considering that job opportunity as well. Unfortunately, I had more things to consider, and my options and decision had suddenly grown a lot more complicated.
Because fifteen minutes before walking into my boss' office that morning, my nanny for less than a month gave notice, based on a changing school schedule. I understand her dillema. Her course options changed unforseeably, it really wasn't a choice for her. I would have done the same thing.
But goddamn it, did it have to be fucking right now???
So now here are my options:
* Take the new job and pray I can figure out child care in the next two weeks.
* Stay at my current job, accept the raise and earlier hours and pray I can figure out childcare in the next two weeks.
* Go part time and be more of a stay-at-home mom and not have to go through nanny drama ever again.
For those of you who have been following the ongoing saga of my nanny drama, you know that option three is very very tempting. Because I am really fucking sick of nanny drama. And not working full time means we can plan vacations a little more easily since I would have four day weekends.
It also means taking a severe hit to my future career plans, and basically putting that on hold for at least five years (when my child starts full time school). I am also worried that if I am not given full eight-to-ten hour days on the three days I work, we will not be financially stable enough to sustain our household. Oh, and I still need to figure out fucking childcare for at least a month or two while I train my full time replacement.
Again, those who know me especially well know that in the past my husband has had on-again off-again problems with alcoholism. I knew this when I married him, I meant my "in sickness and in health." I love and support him in his struggle and want only to be in his corner. He knows this. We've had multiple discussions over the years about how I can deal with being married to an alcoholic.
I can't deal with being married to a liar. So long as he is honest with me about his struggle, we're fine. Our first year of marriage was nearly destroyed by the dishonesty about his problem, and since then he has worked hard to regain my trust and we have been in a good place. The experiance has made me extremely extremely sensitive to lying, however. There is very little he could do that hurts me more then that.
He recently had trouble with it again, and has been lying to me about it for about two weeks. Possibly longer. Last night I caught him in it. Flat out, lied, obviously, to my face, even though he knew exactly what a fucked-up, shitty two days I've had. I slept in our guest room last night, and I'm hurting. A lot.
So that's me at 30. Happy fucking birthday to me.
I requested a week off for Christmas last April, knowing that it is a difficult time to get time off. I do this once every two years, so that we can spend every other Christmas with my husband's family in California. It was approved, no impending problems. My husband used his benefits (he works for an airline) to purchase three roundtrip tickets for our family.
Then life hit the fan in the summer (see previous entry) and we ended up moving further south. I transferred job locations in June. I immediately informed my new boss that I needed that week off. In June. Six MONTHS in advance. I was given the runnaround and told maybe, and a lot of disapproving noises and guilt-trips were made. I fought for it, since we had already purchased tickets and she was being given plenty of notice, and finally won.
About three weeks before we left, my family lost one of it's senior members. I, of course, could not ask for time off to attend the memorial service because my work was already being "so generous" giving me "a whole week" at Christmas, our busiest time of the year. Taking more time off at this time was more or less out of the question.
So, we went to California. It was a good week--but not really a vacation as one tends to think of them. There were a lot of people to see and activities to do, and it was busy. Fun, but busy. Returning home, I did not feel as if I had rested at all. Upon my return, there was, of course, more issues with time off. I had recently hired a new part-time nanny (see next section), and two weeks after her hire date she was in the urgent care with a violent case of the flu.
It happens, I know this. I was understanding, didn't give her a hard time despite now finding myself in a very difficult position. I know had to explain to my boss, two days after I came home from vacation, that I would not be coming in to work. All I will say about that is that was a very uncomfortable conversation. I was told I needed to be in early the following Monday to try to catch up. I texted the nanny, she said that was fine.
Then she tried to take an alternate route to my home and wound up lost. The result is that I was 45 minutes late, a mere 15 minutes earlier than I would normally have arrived. My boss was not impressed, to say the least.
I found out a week later (mid-January) that my family lost another senior member. Her funeral was scheduled for the ONE Saturday my office is open. It is not possible to find someone to cover a Saturday shift. Everyone has to work the Saturdays we are open, and there is a shortage of people currently holding my position. So. I will not be attending this funeral either. I didn't even bother to bring it up to my boss. I have also moved a doctor appointment out two months in order to get my daughter's first birthday off.
Ugh, life.
So, moving on. My part-time nanny of six months gave notice early December This was actually the best possible timing if it had to happen; because I had the rare opportunity of a three day weekend to schedule interviews. My three day weekends occur about once every three months or so. They are one of the few times that I feel like I get caught up on what needs to be done at home...and actually get a day off to see my family or have a "pajama day."
I scheduled nine interviews over the course of three days. Of those nine, three showed up, one per day. Of the six who didn't show up, one called ahead to tell me. I spent the ENTIRITY of my precious three day weekend waiting around my house, getting none of errends done and seeing none of my family for people who couldn't even be bothered to be polite enough to call to say they weren't coming. I tried to contact all five of the no-shows by phone and email to find out if they were lost, or running late. None of them replied. Feeling justified in doing so, I wrote disapproving reviews on all of their pages about the lack of professionalism displayed.
Would you believe that four of the five suddenly and immediately had time to email/call me to tell me about their "family emergency?" Apparently all four of them had a family emergency in the same weekend that was so stressful and dire that it wasn't worth their work reputation to text until after they had seen the consequences. The fifth no-show cited (rather whiningly) a migraine. I informed them all that I was very sorry that they were having trouble in their personal lives, but I cannot afford to hire someone whose family emergency or migraine might prevent them from showing up at work without bothering to call, and that I would not be removing my review, as it is my honest assesment of my experiance with them. Believe it or not, my time is valuble, too, and the simple process of a phone call, email or text would have meant that I could have spent that time taking my daughter to see her grandmother or running errends.
I looked at my list of three interviewees, and hired a lady that I felt comfortable with. She immediately got sick then was late, resulting in previously mentioned drama.
I have been considering seeking different employment for a while now. In part because of what happened above. In a corperation I should be able to request time off half a year in advance and not get guilt tripped about it, and call in sick when emergencies or family deaths happen--especially if I have the Paid TIme Off to cover it (and I do, even after my vacation and personal day, I have almost 60 hours of accrued paid time off).
I've sent out a few resumes, and I had an interview this Thursday. After an intensive three and a half hour interview, I was offerred a very good opportunity. Slightly less money, but better hours. Slightly worse drive, but a serious learning opportunity. It will be a tough transition, but very possibly very worth it. I have been seriously considering it these last couple days. I have promised to give my answer by today.
The same evening I interviewed, I found out from a co-worker that my current boss was concerned that I was not "Happy" with where I was, and asked my co-worker if she thought that I needed "retention incentives" or if I was just going through something. My co-worker being the wonderful and amazing friend she is, immediately responded that she did believe that a raise and better hours would be a solid decision if they want to keep me. Bless her heart.
True to my co-worker's head's up, my boss called me into her office yesterday to ask what she could do in order to make me happier in the work place. We discussed a lot of options, one of which was earlier hours and a small hike in pay. I was honest that I had been on interview and was considering that job opportunity as well. Unfortunately, I had more things to consider, and my options and decision had suddenly grown a lot more complicated.
Because fifteen minutes before walking into my boss' office that morning, my nanny for less than a month gave notice, based on a changing school schedule. I understand her dillema. Her course options changed unforseeably, it really wasn't a choice for her. I would have done the same thing.
But goddamn it, did it have to be fucking right now???
So now here are my options:
* Take the new job and pray I can figure out child care in the next two weeks.
* Stay at my current job, accept the raise and earlier hours and pray I can figure out childcare in the next two weeks.
* Go part time and be more of a stay-at-home mom and not have to go through nanny drama ever again.
For those of you who have been following the ongoing saga of my nanny drama, you know that option three is very very tempting. Because I am really fucking sick of nanny drama. And not working full time means we can plan vacations a little more easily since I would have four day weekends.
It also means taking a severe hit to my future career plans, and basically putting that on hold for at least five years (when my child starts full time school). I am also worried that if I am not given full eight-to-ten hour days on the three days I work, we will not be financially stable enough to sustain our household. Oh, and I still need to figure out fucking childcare for at least a month or two while I train my full time replacement.
Again, those who know me especially well know that in the past my husband has had on-again off-again problems with alcoholism. I knew this when I married him, I meant my "in sickness and in health." I love and support him in his struggle and want only to be in his corner. He knows this. We've had multiple discussions over the years about how I can deal with being married to an alcoholic.
I can't deal with being married to a liar. So long as he is honest with me about his struggle, we're fine. Our first year of marriage was nearly destroyed by the dishonesty about his problem, and since then he has worked hard to regain my trust and we have been in a good place. The experiance has made me extremely extremely sensitive to lying, however. There is very little he could do that hurts me more then that.
He recently had trouble with it again, and has been lying to me about it for about two weeks. Possibly longer. Last night I caught him in it. Flat out, lied, obviously, to my face, even though he knew exactly what a fucked-up, shitty two days I've had. I slept in our guest room last night, and I'm hurting. A lot.
So that's me at 30. Happy fucking birthday to me.