Eugh
I really, really hate "that time" of the month. I always end up with really awful acne--the kind that make up can't hide and is painful. I also tend to get really bone-deep lonely, and those awful edges of depression that plagued me throughout adolescence curl their awful little claws into me. The result is that I am typically needy for Mr Song's attention during that week, and he never seems to notice or give a damn.
I haven't seen him all week, really, and he mentioned he didn't want to go to an AA thing tonight that's outside of his usual routine with them. I, who had JUST found out about this, and had rather looked forward to curling up with him told him he should beg off.
He blew me off for them since he had made the commitment to go. Which is admirable, and I get it, I do. But I feel like I rarely get to see him, since two of his three nights off he does AA stuff, and the third I have a standing appointment with JZ, who never has any other night off. The rest of the week he's not conscious long after coming home, since he wakes up at 3:30 AM.
So I sort of feel like when it's that time, and he's not dying for bed, I should get first claim. Especially since he didn't find fit to tell me he had something going until an hour ago. I know that doesn't make sense and is selfish, but goddamn it, I'm hormonal, and ice cream just doesn't cut it when you need cuddles.
I feel like a horrible setback to my gender when this happens, but can't seem to turn it off. Am I alone in this?