You gotta have friends?

[tyara02]

Have you ever just sat back and wonder how life is going to be in a few years? It's kinda scary. The people who are your friends now will prob be memories once you leave high school. You know how during summer you don't really hang out with people as much as during school? I keep thiking that's how it is going to be. Everyone says they will keep in touch but as time goes on the emails and the ims deminish until there is nothing left but a feeling of a lost friend. Then you question whether they were a real friend in the first place. It's weird. I'm just not having the kind of summer I was hoping for. I have spent almost all of it with James which is great but no one else has even bothered to call to see if I want to hang out or somethinglike that (except for you Lauren but we always end up playing phone tag :)) It's almost like everything I have done in Randolph has had little effect on anyone I know. I mean I thought I made some really good friends and all but I guess that wasn't true at all. So my summer is being filled with work. All I do is work and hang out with James. It's even worse when he goes out with billy, sam, and jimmy because it makes me realize even more that I don't mean anything to so many people. I don't know... My job is pissing me off too so I am just not having a good time. I work, hang with james, and am alone for the rest of the time and it doens't seem to matter to anyone. There have been so many nights that I have cried in my bed just wondering if the people I was thinking about even remembered my name. It just hurts sometimes. All I can think is that it's going to get better when I go off to college but I know it's not. The same thing is going to happen... the summer is going to come and then I will be back in randolph without friends. That's not to great of a thing to look forward to. I guess I am in one of those really pessamistic moods right now...

~~If you are going to respond to this please do it in a nice way. I hate it when people say stupid and hurtfull things in people's journals and don't have the balls to say who they are. If you're going to be a bastard/bitch then do it so I know how you really feel.