:P
I'm supposed to be studying really hard for my mid terms this coming monday. Right. The keyword here is "supposed". Sigh... and what have i been doing? sleeping, lounging around, bumming, watching tv, going out, and none of these description fits studying! argh. i think i shall camp out at starbucks again tomorrow to study. And stay there till someone chase me away. Or maybe i should just go to the school library to study.. not! its a freaking saturaday tomorrow... oh well, i shall get as much studying done tonight and so i can go out tomorrow.. gonna check out the uni's open house. heard that there's a holograph thing ongoing.
well well well. so what's up with me now? well still not sure, but what i know is that i'm happy. I'm happy to know that my mum finally accept me as what i am. different from her, different from my sis, very different from the traditional filial daughter whose only wish in life is to get married and give her tonnes of babies. its not that i'm not filial, i am. its just that i'm not your typical, usual kind of person who does well in school, get a job, and start a family. neither am i the "princess" types where fashion and beauty is my whole life. Nor am i the heavily into gymming type or the hard core dieting types where my whole life revolves around counting calories. ugh.
so what kind of person am i? on a deeper level, i'm still trying to find that out. it's a tough job really. what i know now about me is really on the surface level. i know i want a different life from what society wants. i know i can usually grasp concepts rather fast. I know also that i get bored easily. i know that i like and appreciate art. i know also that i have certain deep set principles that i will not compromise about (like not gambling with money). i also know that i'm pretty much jaded of what you call the "norm" of the society. i also know that if its not for god i won't be here.
i mean there's a long list of things that i know about me. but i don't is this: why am i here? who am i? what makes me, me? what's my purpose here? well believeing that i am here because of i have to work 9 to 5 and have 2.5 kids is a little too difficult to stomach really. its like someone telling me that really i'm just an artificial being here on earth, factory made (in china or taiwan), and my sole purpose is the same as everyone else. i think if it comes to that, i shall really will kill myself. but well i've gotten over that. because i seriously believe that i have a purpose here. it just needs me to look for it, like how i will seek a treasure. treasure hunting. how fun. well now i see live as a big adventure. i mean, yeah i'll only 5 years to the big three-oh, but so what? life's too short to bother about the numbers of your age.
ok ok i better get back to my books, back to the reality of "life"