fic: Too Much (Diego Lugano/Diego Forlán, NC-17)

[txorakeriak]

Title: Too Much
Author: txorakeriak
Fandom: Football RPS, Uruguayan National Team
Pairing: Diego Lugano/Diego Forlán
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I'm a lying bastard and made this all up. I don't claim to know any of the players I write about, they're most definitely not mine, and this very probably didn't happen. No payment involved, no offence intended. This

Comments

[zimena]

First of all: THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH!!!

Then, I'm very sorry it took me forever to comment on this. I've had so much of this comment in my head from the beginning, and with every reread I seem to discover new things about this fic. So, it's fantastic and wonderful and I'm still quite stunned at it. I'm so happy that you took the time to write them, and seeing how long this is was another amazing surprise even before I had read a single word. As someone who struggles to write long stories myself, it's a fabulous shock to get a fic of this length - it's so much more than I could ever dream of or expect!

Then - the fic itself! Bill, I love you so much for this (though, as you know, not only for this!), and I love this fic insanely much! You write them with such...feeling. It's so them and I can exactly see them like this. It's so interesting to see the development of their relationship here, and it's especially interesting to see Forlán's shame for having those dreams and thoughts. This part just makes me feel for him (duh, as if I didn't do that already :P) so much, and as a reader I want those dreams to be more than dreams so badly already there.

Also, I love how Lugano notices the changes even over the phone and especially the way he wants answers and isn't put off even when he sees Forlán's weird behaviour. And also, this line:

"I'm going to take a wild guess," Lugano started, sounding as if it took him quite a lot of willpower to keep his voice down, "your foul mood has something to do with me."

...is SO VERY MUCH like Lugano that I'm grinning just reading it again. I can practically HEAR him saying it and SEE the expression as he speaks.

Also, I admit that I was almost afraid for a moment when they started arguing - does that show how much you managed to draw me into your story? I was sure it had to end well... because it had not been them if it didn't, but I was still scared at that point, and therefore also ten times as happy when Lugano turned around just before reaching the door. That moment was the turning point for me, and I didn't quite share Forlán's panic anymore, but I still loved it very much.... because, well, he's so beautiful in that moment.

Then... I know I have probably told you this before, but I still admire you for being able to write out erotic and sex scenes in this much detail. You write it in such a way that it's wonderful to read, but I just fail to understand how it's possible to write like this. Beautiful and hot at the same time, and in this case you also show how they get closer to each other during these moments - and I don't mean closer just physically. (Yes, I love the whole conversation about why Forlán had the condoms and lube in his bedside table :D). You did this so wonderfully, and I love seeing them sort of learning about each other in a whole new way.

Also, another favorite moment is when Lugano says "I'm hurting you". That moment is just really, really beautiful and hot. I probably see more in those few words than you meant, but this is really one of my favorite things in the whole fic. Those words, the way Lugano is so aware of that and even wants to pull out to avoid hurting Forlán more... and the way Forlán stops him.... Really, it's perfect. Just perfect.

Finally, the ending is perfect as well. I love seeing them tender and happy like that, and I also love how it's such a contrast to everything else. This tenderness is even more special because it comes after the more steamy sex - because it shows that there is and will be so much more between them.

Thank you again for this! It's fantastic!

[txorakeriak]

So sorry for the late reply, but your comment totally floored me and I didn't know what to say - well, I still don't really know how to respond to such praise, and it's difficult to put my gratitude and relief into words, but I'm going to try! ;)

I'm so glad that you enjoyed this fic! It would be an understatement to say that I was nervous about posting this because I know how much you love the Diegos and I wanted to write them exactly as you see them, which was a particular challenge! ;) And actually I wanted to write just about 2,000 words so I would still have time to write three more fics for Christmas, but then this story developed a life of its own and insisted to be twice as long. XD

I'm also glad to hear that the argument between them held some suspense, even though you know I could never write anything but a happy ending here because it's your guys and your present! ;) I think they're both pretty strong characters, and so I felt that a confrontation like this would be the most realistic way of them finding out about each other's feelings.

And dude, it's such a relief that you didn't find the smut rushed or awkward or un-hot! As I keep saying, I completely fail at judging my own writing and I'm never satisfied with it, but if you say you liked it, then I definitely feel better! XD

The "I'm hurting you" was quite intentional - especially since Lugano bit Diego's lip earlier and didn't even bat an eyelash about it. He knows Diego isn't a delicate flower, but at the same time he still finds it incredible that Diego would offer himself to him like this, and he's probably more afraid than Diego in this moment, not wanting to make any mistakes, not wanting to make Diego regret this. I couldn't spell that out as the fic isn't written from Lugano's point of view, but I hope I managed to convey the message somehow. :)

Thanks again for the wonderfully kind (and LONG!) comment, I still feel quite floored and relieved and honoured that you liked this so much! :D