Incomplete thoughts
I've had a bunch of thoughts rattling around in my brain for a while now -wanted to get them out on "paper" to start making sense of them. This entry doesn't necessarily come to a full-stop at the end, nor is every point fully fleshed out. I would welcome your thoughts, if you have any.
I’ve been struggling a lot in light of the recent additional publicity towards marriage rights. On one hand, I am deeply, deeply bothered by the people on both sides of the issue who do not know how to articulate themselves with charity. Note, charity does not mean acceptance, but courtesy and respect for fellow persons.
On the other hand, I am very bothered by my own inability to come up with the “right thing” to say. I know how to express the Church view on marriage and sex (can’t really talk about one without the other). But what I don’t know is how to express a compassionate, compelling argument for the non-Catholic, perhaps non-Christian audience. I almost feel cowed into silence because I fear people will call me a hater. Couldn’t be further from the truth, but I internalize debates and take things personally. Therefore, I’ve said nothing recently.
I think the marriage rights movement to a certain degree transcends political lines. Almost everyone nowadays has at least one homosexual acquaintance. And almost anyone can get pulled in on an emotional level - why can’t they have what I have? Why can’t two people in love get married? It’s their right!
That’s a large part of this issue - marriage is NOT a right. No individual, no couple, has the right to get married.
Based on divorce rates and on the number of couples cohabitating today, it seems that America is loudly crying for the end of marriage. Marriage, to a growing number of Americans, is an archaic construct. It’s very peculiar to me that the groups often advocating most verbally for homosexual marriage rights are the same groups who proclaim that marriage is old-fashioned and has no meaning/no place in today’s society. Isn’t this a glaring dichotomy?
Is this merely an example of rebellion? Let’s say I give up sweets for Lent. I don’t eat a whole bunch anyway, but all the sudden, since I am being denied something, I want it more. My body is rebelling against the mandates I’ve placed upon it. The primary reason I want the dessert is because I have denied myself the opportunity. I hear “no” so my stomach protests more strongly “it’ll make you feel good!” I know the typical societal reaction is to not deny oneself anything. Yet I know if I cave over such a small thing as sweets in Lent, then I will not necessarily remain steadfast in the face of a more important time of self-control.
I guess that’s part of the issue. Marriage isn’t about just what I want or what will make me feel good. Marriage isn’t all about me and how I feel. It is about sacrifice and the death of my selfish side, especially once children are introduced into the picture. As long as marriage is about what I want or what makes me feel good, it’s not going to work. Let’s face it, marriage is hard work. If we have never experienced sacrifice, never chosen self-discipline, why would one want to take on marriage where one is daily called to die to one’s own needs for the goods of another?