CSI-fic: Mistakes (19/?)
Title: Mistakes
Author: TXLtoSFO
Fandom: CSI:LV
Pairing: Sara Sidle/OC
Rating: PG to NC-17 (NC-17-rated chapters will be noted in the cut)
Disclaimer: CSI, its characters, places, and situations are property of Jerry Bruckheimer Television, Alliance Atlantis and CBS Productions. This story was written for entertainment, not monetary purposes. Original characters, and this story are intellectual property of the author. Any similarities to existing characters, fictional or real, living or dead, are coincidental and no harm is intended.
Spoiler/Warnings: None
Summary: Someone from Sara's past shows up in an unexpected position in Vegas and quite a drama ensues. Sara thinks some mistakes can't be forgive and forgotten but Catherine is convinced that everyone deserves a second chance and tries her best to get Sara to the point of forgiveness.
Notes: I am terribly sorry for the long delay in posting this story. I still hope a couple of people are reading my out-of-date fandom and I will post remaining chapters rather quickly. There is still a lot of other stuff I'd like to post.
Mistakes
19. Acceptance
It was working. She could see it in her eyes. They weren't as guarded anymore, not quite as sad and the anger had vanished from them. There were no suffocating silences, no averting the other's looks, no annoyed frowns. It was working, they'd gotten through to Sara. A bit at least. She'd actually heard her have a kind of a real conversation with Eli in the break room. She hadn't seen Sara smile that much in a very long time.
Good. Now that she seemed to have an idea of what she could have again, they had to show her just how easily she might lose it. To convince her once and for all that Eli was worth that second chance before someone else got theirs first.
Catherine leaned back in her comfortable new office chair. Now all that was left was getting Sofia to play along. She'd noticed the signs of Sofia's backtracking. Why the blonde did that, she had no clue. It wasn't like they had hurt anyone so far, pretty much the opposite, they had managed two people who clearly belonged together to take the first tentative step towards what could probably a new beginning. What was her problem?
"Catherine, do you have a minute?"
Speaking of the...
"Of course Sofia, I wanted to talk to you anyway."
She mentioned the Detective to step into her office and close the door behind her. Sofia decided not to sit down. She wasn't even sure she wanted to hear what Catherine had to say, she just wanted to tell her that she would no longer participate in the little 'conspiracy'.
"Look, Cath-" She didn't even get to finish her sentence as she was cut short by her opposite.
"I think it's about time to up the ante a bit, don't you think? I mean, they are talking again and I've seen those glances, they linger and Sara finally smiles again. Now we have to make sure that she really understands that she needs to pursue Eli if she doesn't want someone else to make the first step and it's all too late."
It had taken Sofia a great amount of self-control not to butt into Catherine's rambling. She took a long and deep breath and opened her mouth, but the other woman beat her to the punch again.
"That's where you come in. You and Eli have established quite a bit of a friendship, haven't you? It wouldn't be so strange if that friendship would take a different course, huh? If Sara would see you two flirt and since Eli will think it's just like the friendly banter with me, since you're friends, right, she will probably unknowingly play along."
Sofia wondered if the colour of her cheeks reflected the pressure that had built up in her head. Only Catherine could be so blunt and frighteningly ignorant to the possible consequences of pulling such a stunt on the two clueless, yes, targets. Catherine had just made them targets.
"No fucking way, Cath!"
Catherine stumbled over the next words she'd planned to say by the harsh refusal. But she quickly composed herself.
"I know what you're afraid of. You're afraid that if they find out that they've been played, the will immediately question every single one of their actions that led to whatever's going to happen and ask themselves if they just did it because of that. Especially Sara. Hell, we all know she's not the most forgiving type. But she'll come around. She always does. So eventually we might have to explain ourselves. Eli isn't resentful. She will understand our reasoning. And being hit on by a friend who just happens to be a gorgeous blonde sure will pamper Eli's bruised ego a bit."
That was it. Sofia Curtis was boiling inside, yet she tried to sustain a cool demeanor. This just hit her too close to home. And Catherine would never get Sara. The brunette would retreat right back into her shell. Completely. And there would never be another chance for Eli to tease her back out. This was just too risky. Cocky, conceited even. So Catherine.
"Catherine, listen and listen closely. I'm not going to play along. You sincerely underestimate the damage this could do. What we've done so far was already risky enough, but that is just insane. And I'm not going to pretend to want more from Eli than I do. I will not risk this friendship. I'm out!"
Catherine scrutinized the Detective. She was flushed and started to sweat. Her eyes flashed angrily but also showed just the slightest hint of something like fear. She was sure Sofia meant what she'd just said, but Catherine couldn't help but assume that the taller woman's worries didn't only originate in the fear of being caught and ruining Sara's and Eli's chance to built something.
Sofia was still trying to stare her down.
Then the truth dawned upon her. And she couldn't deny that Sofia's reasons to back paddle were nothing but noble. She sighed.
"It's okay, Sofia, you can calm down. I get it now. Forget what I said, I couldn't have known how much this whole thing affects you. Heaven knows I couldn't be so selfless. It's really admirable." And she smirked at the Detective knowingly.
Sofia's jaw dropped. She felt like she'd just been punched in the guts. Yes, Catherine had people skills, but this was just - mindreading. Anger flared up again and she turned to leave.
"You don't know a thing. Let's just leave it like this. I'm sure they will figure it out all by themselves."
Not quite convinced by Sofia's explanation, but knowing that any word more would lead to an argument, Catherine evaluated the situation and yes, they could be content with the improvements they'd seen so far.
She pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled loudly.
"You're right. I didn't mean to drag you into something you're obviously not comfortable with. Let's just have a close eye on those two and if nothing happens, we could simply go and try to talk to them. No more tricks."
Sofia visibly calmed and nodded in silent relief.
"That sounds way more reasonable, Catherine."
"Are we okay, Sofia?"
The Detective smiled weakly, but genuinely.
"Yeah, we are, don't worry."
Sofia's pager went off and looked apologetically at Catherine, removed the phone from her belt and was already talking to Brass as she left Catherine's office in a hurry.
*******
"Sophie, I've read this report and I really think we should get Dominguez back for questioning. With the TOD that Doc estimated, his alibi just barely checks out, he might have had enough time to manage... Let's drive from the restaurant to the murder site to get the time or did anyone already do that?"
Eli looked up, expecting an answer, but Sofia just stared out the window, apparently lost in thought.
"Sofia? Earth to Curtis, anybody there?" Eli sing-songed.
No reaction.
Now that was strange, she'd never seen Sofia so detached. Eli stepped closer to the Detective and carefully reached for her shoulder, not wanting to startle her too much.
"Sofia?"
Still the blonde flinched hard as Eli's hand slowly settled and turned around fast enough to brush it right off her shoulder again.
"God, you've scared me." She exclaimed, breathing heavily.
"Sophie, I talked to you and you didn't react. I called your name several times and still nothing. What's the matter with you? Something bothering you? You look tired, almost sad."
Sofia tried to evade Eli's worried and with honest warmth glowing eyes. She just couldn't look at her right now.
"It's nothing. I was just thinking and I got kind of carried away."
"You sure did. But that must have been some serious thought, you completely spaced out."
"Well, I'm right back here with you now. What did you want to tell me?"
Eli started repeating what she'd first said, but sure knew that she'd just been dismissed and there was no way she wouldn't try to find out what was wrong with Sofia at a later time. For some reason, Eli really hated unresolved situations amongst friends.
*******
She caught up with Sofia in the locker room after shift. Barging in, glad that she wasn't already gone, she found her facing away from her and staring into her open locker.
"Sofia, could you please tell me what's going on with you? All day you've been withdrawn, barely talking to me and you haven't smiled even once. That's just not like you."
"Why can't you just leave it alone? Nothing's wrong with me, I'm just tired and I zoned out while I was thinking. What's it to you?"
"Hey, why so defensive? I just want to know that you're okay. I can see that something is really getting to you, I see it in your posture, you even walk differently, I see it in your eyes and you do that adorable pouting thing with your lower lip. Your whole body says you're not alright."
Goodness, why would she always find the right words? Why had she almost made her smile when all she really wanted was to have a really stiff drink and sleep all this away. How come she could read her so well so quickly?
"Leave it, Eli! Not everything has to be talked through. I am fine!" She rummaged through her locker, her back still to Eli.
"Hey, I just want to be a friend. You know you can talk to me, about anything. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."
"Oh yes, you will!"
Sofia groaned inwardly and silently prayed that Eli hadn't noticed her slip.
"No, I won't. Not if you don't explicitly tell me to. If you really need to be left alone, I'll leave, but if not, I'm there. I could cook some breakfast and you just sit and ponder. And if you want to talk, I'll be there."
Good, she hadn't. But she was still too damn kind and understanding for her own good.
"Fine! Have it your damn way." A hint of anger had worked its way into Eli's voice now, too.
She threw her hand in the air and sighed. Still Sofia stayed silent, so she went on.
"I just- I care about you. I hate to see you sad and angry. Don't make this so hard on me."
"Hard on you? You don't have a clue, do you? Are you really that dense?" Sofia growled at her.
"Excuse me? What the hell did I do wrong now? You really should go home and have a nice few hours of sleep. Maybe you're able to talk to me normally again by tomorrow. You're a piece of work, Curtis, you know that?"
"Fuck you, Eli!"
Sofia finally turned around to face the short haired woman. The amount of anger and hurt Eli saw in Sofia's eyes were disturbing, to say the least. But there was something else. Something close to despair shining through in the deep baby blues. And it frightened Eli more than any anger, any sorrow, any weariness ever could have. Eli decided a different approach was in order. She slowly closed the distance between them and reached out for Sofia. She knew the other woman wasn't the type that would succumb into an embrace without a struggle, particularly not in her agitated state, but she'd get her there, she was prepared.
"No, Fia, no. I know you don't mean it."
She tried to encircle the blonde with one arm, but she tried to slip out of reach.
"Don't Eli, I'm warning you."
Eli followed her closely.
Sofia's warnings fell on deaf ears. It was more difficult with only one arm useable, but she managed to circle it around Sofia's shoulders and pull her close. She still fought, but it was a strong arm and she finally gave in and flung her own arms around Eli's waist and buried her head in her neck.
"Shh, I got you. Whatever it is, I got you. Resistance is futile, Detective."
Eli knew she had her with quoting Star Trek. Sofia could be such a nerd sometimes. And the weak chuckle that was muffled by her shirt proved it.
She loosened her hold and brought her right hand up to Sofia's cheek.
"Hey, look at me. What's wrong?"
Sofia found nothing but genuine care as she looked straight into Eli's eyes.
Here she was, unconsciously doing exactly what Catherine had wanted her to do, but this wasn't some stupid plan that went overboard, Sara wasn't even around and right now she didn't even want to help the other woman anymore. Right now she just wanted this moment to never end. But it had to, this wasn't her place.
"Eli, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go all ballistic on you. Tomorrow, I'm going to explain. Tomorrow, everything will be just as it was before."
"You know you're talking in riddles, Sofia." Eli shook her head helplessly.
Sofia then brought both her hands up to Eli's face and softly caressed her cheeks, her eyes filled with sadness and acceptance and something that Eli could only describe as a faint craving.
She gasped and knew. Knew what the despair was all about. Knew that she should turn around, say one of those really corny and seldom comforting lines and leave, right now. Break Sofia's moment, because it was doomed anyway, and the woman in front of her, who continued to map her face with her fingers had just confirmed she knew it, too. But she couldn't. This moment was all she could ever offer, ever give Sofia, and she was willing to make it count. For both of them, somehow. So she allowed her to move the final inch in, still holding each other's glances as Sofia's nose touched hers and her mouth was so close that Eli could taste the warmth of Sofia's breath. And then this last distance was closed. And even Eli couldn't deny that a thousand what-if's ran through her head at this fleeting, barely there touch of lips. She took great care just to react and not to act on her own accord as one hand settled on her neck and the kiss was slowly but insistently deepened. Try as she might, Sofia couldn't keep this as light as she'd wanted. No, she had to kiss the living daylight out of Eli and then never look back. And she did. The passive, but yet existent response she got was all Sofia needed to know that if things were different, she would have stood a very reasonable chance.
As they finally broke apart, Eli opened her eyes that she had closed somewhere along the way and sat down on one of the benches, looking up at Sofia.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"Me too, Eli, me too. You couldn't have. I just figured it out over the last couple of days myself. We'll talk tomorrow. Don't worry, I will be fine."
Sofia ran her fingers just once more through soft and short brown hair and smiled regretfully before she turned and left the locker room.
Eli just sat there. She unconsciously bit her bottom lip and tasted the remains of coffee, a hint of chocolate and all that was Sofia Curtis. If it wasn't for Sara and all she stood for and all she meant to Eli, this could have been it. If they hadn't met again, Eli knew that she would have welcomed this chance with open arms. And probably never regretted it. Hell, she'd just a little time ago entertained the thought of an affair with the blonde, use her to make Sara jealous. How could she ever have thought that? It seemed so ridiculous now, after having being confronted with Sofia's respectful retreat from what she'd have liked to happen in favour of a friend's shot at real happiness. Her shot at happiness. Three people had grown on her since she'd come to Vegas and she'd never want to hurt any of them. Catherine for her easy approach from the very beginning, her humour, their silent understanding, their arguments and her care, Greg, for his goofiness, his knowledge about music and the simple fun they shared whenever they went out together. And then there was Sofia. Tough as nails, ignoring her completely for the first weeks. With that confident strut and that toothpick between her lips. The woman she had risked her life for. And had gained getting to know the private Sofia. Kind, witty, sparkling blue eyes full of waggishness, closet Star Trek fan, a sucker for good food and most of all, deserts and everything that contained chocolate. And always dedicated to doing the right thing. Even now.
Eli grabbed her coat and went down to the lot and into her car. Her stereo started filling the confined room with one of the songs of Eli's carefully selected playlist as the motor roared to life. Driving through the morning madness on Vegas' streets, leaving the windows closed to keep the buzzing of the awakening city from intruding, she steered her metallic grey Mercedes skillfully through the rush hour and sang along.
One thing had become crystal clear when she had been kissed by Sofia. It was time. It was time to find out if she really stood a chance having Sara in her life. And given everything that had transpired within the last few days, the odds had never looked better.
Author: TXLtoSFO
Fandom: CSI:LV
Pairing: Sara Sidle/OC
Rating: PG to NC-17 (NC-17-rated chapters will be noted in the cut)
Disclaimer: CSI, its characters, places, and situations are property of Jerry Bruckheimer Television, Alliance Atlantis and CBS Productions. This story was written for entertainment, not monetary purposes. Original characters, and this story are intellectual property of the author. Any similarities to existing characters, fictional or real, living or dead, are coincidental and no harm is intended.
Spoiler/Warnings: None
Summary: Someone from Sara's past shows up in an unexpected position in Vegas and quite a drama ensues. Sara thinks some mistakes can't be forgive and forgotten but Catherine is convinced that everyone deserves a second chance and tries her best to get Sara to the point of forgiveness.
Notes: I am terribly sorry for the long delay in posting this story. I still hope a couple of people are reading my out-of-date fandom and I will post remaining chapters rather quickly. There is still a lot of other stuff I'd like to post.
Mistakes
19. Acceptance
It was working. She could see it in her eyes. They weren't as guarded anymore, not quite as sad and the anger had vanished from them. There were no suffocating silences, no averting the other's looks, no annoyed frowns. It was working, they'd gotten through to Sara. A bit at least. She'd actually heard her have a kind of a real conversation with Eli in the break room. She hadn't seen Sara smile that much in a very long time.
Good. Now that she seemed to have an idea of what she could have again, they had to show her just how easily she might lose it. To convince her once and for all that Eli was worth that second chance before someone else got theirs first.
Catherine leaned back in her comfortable new office chair. Now all that was left was getting Sofia to play along. She'd noticed the signs of Sofia's backtracking. Why the blonde did that, she had no clue. It wasn't like they had hurt anyone so far, pretty much the opposite, they had managed two people who clearly belonged together to take the first tentative step towards what could probably a new beginning. What was her problem?
"Catherine, do you have a minute?"
Speaking of the...
"Of course Sofia, I wanted to talk to you anyway."
She mentioned the Detective to step into her office and close the door behind her. Sofia decided not to sit down. She wasn't even sure she wanted to hear what Catherine had to say, she just wanted to tell her that she would no longer participate in the little 'conspiracy'.
"Look, Cath-" She didn't even get to finish her sentence as she was cut short by her opposite.
"I think it's about time to up the ante a bit, don't you think? I mean, they are talking again and I've seen those glances, they linger and Sara finally smiles again. Now we have to make sure that she really understands that she needs to pursue Eli if she doesn't want someone else to make the first step and it's all too late."
It had taken Sofia a great amount of self-control not to butt into Catherine's rambling. She took a long and deep breath and opened her mouth, but the other woman beat her to the punch again.
"That's where you come in. You and Eli have established quite a bit of a friendship, haven't you? It wouldn't be so strange if that friendship would take a different course, huh? If Sara would see you two flirt and since Eli will think it's just like the friendly banter with me, since you're friends, right, she will probably unknowingly play along."
Sofia wondered if the colour of her cheeks reflected the pressure that had built up in her head. Only Catherine could be so blunt and frighteningly ignorant to the possible consequences of pulling such a stunt on the two clueless, yes, targets. Catherine had just made them targets.
"No fucking way, Cath!"
Catherine stumbled over the next words she'd planned to say by the harsh refusal. But she quickly composed herself.
"I know what you're afraid of. You're afraid that if they find out that they've been played, the will immediately question every single one of their actions that led to whatever's going to happen and ask themselves if they just did it because of that. Especially Sara. Hell, we all know she's not the most forgiving type. But she'll come around. She always does. So eventually we might have to explain ourselves. Eli isn't resentful. She will understand our reasoning. And being hit on by a friend who just happens to be a gorgeous blonde sure will pamper Eli's bruised ego a bit."
That was it. Sofia Curtis was boiling inside, yet she tried to sustain a cool demeanor. This just hit her too close to home. And Catherine would never get Sara. The brunette would retreat right back into her shell. Completely. And there would never be another chance for Eli to tease her back out. This was just too risky. Cocky, conceited even. So Catherine.
"Catherine, listen and listen closely. I'm not going to play along. You sincerely underestimate the damage this could do. What we've done so far was already risky enough, but that is just insane. And I'm not going to pretend to want more from Eli than I do. I will not risk this friendship. I'm out!"
Catherine scrutinized the Detective. She was flushed and started to sweat. Her eyes flashed angrily but also showed just the slightest hint of something like fear. She was sure Sofia meant what she'd just said, but Catherine couldn't help but assume that the taller woman's worries didn't only originate in the fear of being caught and ruining Sara's and Eli's chance to built something.
Sofia was still trying to stare her down.
Then the truth dawned upon her. And she couldn't deny that Sofia's reasons to back paddle were nothing but noble. She sighed.
"It's okay, Sofia, you can calm down. I get it now. Forget what I said, I couldn't have known how much this whole thing affects you. Heaven knows I couldn't be so selfless. It's really admirable." And she smirked at the Detective knowingly.
Sofia's jaw dropped. She felt like she'd just been punched in the guts. Yes, Catherine had people skills, but this was just - mindreading. Anger flared up again and she turned to leave.
"You don't know a thing. Let's just leave it like this. I'm sure they will figure it out all by themselves."
Not quite convinced by Sofia's explanation, but knowing that any word more would lead to an argument, Catherine evaluated the situation and yes, they could be content with the improvements they'd seen so far.
She pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled loudly.
"You're right. I didn't mean to drag you into something you're obviously not comfortable with. Let's just have a close eye on those two and if nothing happens, we could simply go and try to talk to them. No more tricks."
Sofia visibly calmed and nodded in silent relief.
"That sounds way more reasonable, Catherine."
"Are we okay, Sofia?"
The Detective smiled weakly, but genuinely.
"Yeah, we are, don't worry."
Sofia's pager went off and looked apologetically at Catherine, removed the phone from her belt and was already talking to Brass as she left Catherine's office in a hurry.
*******
"Sophie, I've read this report and I really think we should get Dominguez back for questioning. With the TOD that Doc estimated, his alibi just barely checks out, he might have had enough time to manage... Let's drive from the restaurant to the murder site to get the time or did anyone already do that?"
Eli looked up, expecting an answer, but Sofia just stared out the window, apparently lost in thought.
"Sofia? Earth to Curtis, anybody there?" Eli sing-songed.
No reaction.
Now that was strange, she'd never seen Sofia so detached. Eli stepped closer to the Detective and carefully reached for her shoulder, not wanting to startle her too much.
"Sofia?"
Still the blonde flinched hard as Eli's hand slowly settled and turned around fast enough to brush it right off her shoulder again.
"God, you've scared me." She exclaimed, breathing heavily.
"Sophie, I talked to you and you didn't react. I called your name several times and still nothing. What's the matter with you? Something bothering you? You look tired, almost sad."
Sofia tried to evade Eli's worried and with honest warmth glowing eyes. She just couldn't look at her right now.
"It's nothing. I was just thinking and I got kind of carried away."
"You sure did. But that must have been some serious thought, you completely spaced out."
"Well, I'm right back here with you now. What did you want to tell me?"
Eli started repeating what she'd first said, but sure knew that she'd just been dismissed and there was no way she wouldn't try to find out what was wrong with Sofia at a later time. For some reason, Eli really hated unresolved situations amongst friends.
*******
She caught up with Sofia in the locker room after shift. Barging in, glad that she wasn't already gone, she found her facing away from her and staring into her open locker.
"Sofia, could you please tell me what's going on with you? All day you've been withdrawn, barely talking to me and you haven't smiled even once. That's just not like you."
"Why can't you just leave it alone? Nothing's wrong with me, I'm just tired and I zoned out while I was thinking. What's it to you?"
"Hey, why so defensive? I just want to know that you're okay. I can see that something is really getting to you, I see it in your posture, you even walk differently, I see it in your eyes and you do that adorable pouting thing with your lower lip. Your whole body says you're not alright."
Goodness, why would she always find the right words? Why had she almost made her smile when all she really wanted was to have a really stiff drink and sleep all this away. How come she could read her so well so quickly?
"Leave it, Eli! Not everything has to be talked through. I am fine!" She rummaged through her locker, her back still to Eli.
"Hey, I just want to be a friend. You know you can talk to me, about anything. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."
"Oh yes, you will!"
Sofia groaned inwardly and silently prayed that Eli hadn't noticed her slip.
"No, I won't. Not if you don't explicitly tell me to. If you really need to be left alone, I'll leave, but if not, I'm there. I could cook some breakfast and you just sit and ponder. And if you want to talk, I'll be there."
Good, she hadn't. But she was still too damn kind and understanding for her own good.
"Fine! Have it your damn way." A hint of anger had worked its way into Eli's voice now, too.
She threw her hand in the air and sighed. Still Sofia stayed silent, so she went on.
"I just- I care about you. I hate to see you sad and angry. Don't make this so hard on me."
"Hard on you? You don't have a clue, do you? Are you really that dense?" Sofia growled at her.
"Excuse me? What the hell did I do wrong now? You really should go home and have a nice few hours of sleep. Maybe you're able to talk to me normally again by tomorrow. You're a piece of work, Curtis, you know that?"
"Fuck you, Eli!"
Sofia finally turned around to face the short haired woman. The amount of anger and hurt Eli saw in Sofia's eyes were disturbing, to say the least. But there was something else. Something close to despair shining through in the deep baby blues. And it frightened Eli more than any anger, any sorrow, any weariness ever could have. Eli decided a different approach was in order. She slowly closed the distance between them and reached out for Sofia. She knew the other woman wasn't the type that would succumb into an embrace without a struggle, particularly not in her agitated state, but she'd get her there, she was prepared.
"No, Fia, no. I know you don't mean it."
She tried to encircle the blonde with one arm, but she tried to slip out of reach.
"Don't Eli, I'm warning you."
Eli followed her closely.
Sofia's warnings fell on deaf ears. It was more difficult with only one arm useable, but she managed to circle it around Sofia's shoulders and pull her close. She still fought, but it was a strong arm and she finally gave in and flung her own arms around Eli's waist and buried her head in her neck.
"Shh, I got you. Whatever it is, I got you. Resistance is futile, Detective."
Eli knew she had her with quoting Star Trek. Sofia could be such a nerd sometimes. And the weak chuckle that was muffled by her shirt proved it.
She loosened her hold and brought her right hand up to Sofia's cheek.
"Hey, look at me. What's wrong?"
Sofia found nothing but genuine care as she looked straight into Eli's eyes.
Here she was, unconsciously doing exactly what Catherine had wanted her to do, but this wasn't some stupid plan that went overboard, Sara wasn't even around and right now she didn't even want to help the other woman anymore. Right now she just wanted this moment to never end. But it had to, this wasn't her place.
"Eli, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go all ballistic on you. Tomorrow, I'm going to explain. Tomorrow, everything will be just as it was before."
"You know you're talking in riddles, Sofia." Eli shook her head helplessly.
Sofia then brought both her hands up to Eli's face and softly caressed her cheeks, her eyes filled with sadness and acceptance and something that Eli could only describe as a faint craving.
She gasped and knew. Knew what the despair was all about. Knew that she should turn around, say one of those really corny and seldom comforting lines and leave, right now. Break Sofia's moment, because it was doomed anyway, and the woman in front of her, who continued to map her face with her fingers had just confirmed she knew it, too. But she couldn't. This moment was all she could ever offer, ever give Sofia, and she was willing to make it count. For both of them, somehow. So she allowed her to move the final inch in, still holding each other's glances as Sofia's nose touched hers and her mouth was so close that Eli could taste the warmth of Sofia's breath. And then this last distance was closed. And even Eli couldn't deny that a thousand what-if's ran through her head at this fleeting, barely there touch of lips. She took great care just to react and not to act on her own accord as one hand settled on her neck and the kiss was slowly but insistently deepened. Try as she might, Sofia couldn't keep this as light as she'd wanted. No, she had to kiss the living daylight out of Eli and then never look back. And she did. The passive, but yet existent response she got was all Sofia needed to know that if things were different, she would have stood a very reasonable chance.
As they finally broke apart, Eli opened her eyes that she had closed somewhere along the way and sat down on one of the benches, looking up at Sofia.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"Me too, Eli, me too. You couldn't have. I just figured it out over the last couple of days myself. We'll talk tomorrow. Don't worry, I will be fine."
Sofia ran her fingers just once more through soft and short brown hair and smiled regretfully before she turned and left the locker room.
Eli just sat there. She unconsciously bit her bottom lip and tasted the remains of coffee, a hint of chocolate and all that was Sofia Curtis. If it wasn't for Sara and all she stood for and all she meant to Eli, this could have been it. If they hadn't met again, Eli knew that she would have welcomed this chance with open arms. And probably never regretted it. Hell, she'd just a little time ago entertained the thought of an affair with the blonde, use her to make Sara jealous. How could she ever have thought that? It seemed so ridiculous now, after having being confronted with Sofia's respectful retreat from what she'd have liked to happen in favour of a friend's shot at real happiness. Her shot at happiness. Three people had grown on her since she'd come to Vegas and she'd never want to hurt any of them. Catherine for her easy approach from the very beginning, her humour, their silent understanding, their arguments and her care, Greg, for his goofiness, his knowledge about music and the simple fun they shared whenever they went out together. And then there was Sofia. Tough as nails, ignoring her completely for the first weeks. With that confident strut and that toothpick between her lips. The woman she had risked her life for. And had gained getting to know the private Sofia. Kind, witty, sparkling blue eyes full of waggishness, closet Star Trek fan, a sucker for good food and most of all, deserts and everything that contained chocolate. And always dedicated to doing the right thing. Even now.
Eli grabbed her coat and went down to the lot and into her car. Her stereo started filling the confined room with one of the songs of Eli's carefully selected playlist as the motor roared to life. Driving through the morning madness on Vegas' streets, leaving the windows closed to keep the buzzing of the awakening city from intruding, she steered her metallic grey Mercedes skillfully through the rush hour and sang along.
One thing had become crystal clear when she had been kissed by Sofia. It was time. It was time to find out if she really stood a chance having Sara in her life. And given everything that had transpired within the last few days, the odds had never looked better.