CSI-fic: Objects in the rear view mirror (1/17)
Title: Objects in the rear view mirror
Author: TXLtoSFO
Fandom: CSI:LV
Pairing: Sara Sidle/Sofia Curits/OC Eli Trent
Rating: I give it an overall NC-17, cos I don't wanna rate each chapter individually.
Disclaimer: CSI, its characters, places, and situations are property of Jerry Bruckheimer Television, Alliance Atlantis and CBS Productions. This story was written for entertainment, not monetary purposes. Original characters, and this story are intellectual property of the author. Any similarities to existing characters, fictional or real, living or dead, are coincidental and no harm is intended.
Spoiler/Warnings: Character death
Summary/Note: This is a sequel to my story 'Mistakes', which you can find on my LJ or on ff.net, where I go by the name Foodwise. It is dark and ventures completely off canon, there's not much of CSI left you're going to recognise. On ff.net, I called it AU-sequel, because I initially had been planning on continuing Eli and Sara's journey in a lighter, sweeter story, but I came to love this one so much despite it's darkness that I gave up on telling myself there'll ever be another version. In this:
A life-changing event drives Eli away from Vegas. Set roughly three years after the events in 'Mistakes'.
Notes: I consider this story a definite improvement, language-wise. Yet I still have to mention that I am no native speaker and most of this story wasn't beta'd, only the last couple of chapter have been kindly looked over. You will need to have read 'Mistakes' to understand what is happening here. And again, this story contains the death of a major character. Don't say I didn't warn you.
I hope you enjoy reading this. I had a rough, yet amazing time writing it. I'd be delighted to find some reactions. Because this story means a lot to me.
Objects in the rear view mirror
1. One night changed all that mattered
Sofia was simply not strong enough to break Eli's fall. Groaning under the weight of the taller woman, trying to grab her under the arms and support her at least a bit she sank her teeth into her lower lip to smother the cry that would have marked her reaction to what had just been said and she slid beside her best friend onto the grey linoleum floor that reeked of bleach, while her lip split and the taste of iron triggered the overflow of the tears that had just waited for their moment to start falling.
The ceiling fan's monotonous swooshing, its blades casting eerie shadows enlarged by the harsh neon lighting, the shuffling of feet away from them, she didn't know where to look, what to hear, how to react. She just clung to Eli for dear life, a life that had just lost so much of its meaning.
Everything around Eli had faded. All she could hear was the blood rushing through her ears. Faintly she felt arms being wrapped around her and someone tried to smother their sobs in a vain attempt to be strong for her, but their tears were wetting the fabric of Eli's shirt at the shoulder and the grip around her became painfully tight.
She just stared blankly ahead, at the wall, its colour might have many years ago been an attempt at a joyful yellow, now it was stained with the sandish grey tone of too many desert winds that must've swept through these hallways and a reminder of times where it was allowed to smoke in here, the impressions of hospital bed corners, and the traces of the many people who might've bumped into these walls over the years. Or who might've slid down on them. Like she just had.
Harshly Eli struggled against the arms that held her with the need to get out of their suffocating embrace, no one could be touching her now. She simply ignored the pain-filled gasp as she elbowed herself free and staggered unbalanced to her feet and with a nausea she knew she'd never get rid of for the rest of her life, she stumbled towards the door that led to the stairwell, desperately trying to force some air into her lungs, to at least be able to breathe to make it out. Out, just out, she was driven by the desperate need to get out of there.
Finally in the open, Det. Eli Trent sank down onto a stretch of damp and cold grass in the small park behind Desert Palms Hospital and let the darkness of the desert night engulf her.
She couldn't feel anything apart from that nausea that made her gag. She felt nothing. A hollow shell, robbed of every ability to contain any human emotion. Empty.
She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw, teeth grinding mercilessly. But not a single tear escaped her. She couldn't feel.
Why didn't she feel anything?
She should be screaming, sobbing, punching the walls, curse the heavens above for this.
Yet Eli just sat here, the moisture from the ground slowly drenching the bottom of her simple jeans that had been closest to her bed as the call had reached her, the cold breeze ghosting over her bare arms and she didn't even freeze. Didn't even shiver.
She patted her pockets for cigarettes and her Zippo, lit up with frighteningly steady hands and inhaled deeply. But the familiar rasp in the back of her throat just wouldn't come. She took another long drag and still nothing.
Ripping out a handful of grass she held it up to her nose and sniffed, waiting for the smell she'd loved ever since she could remember to make it through to her brain. She didn't smell a thing. She threw the blades of grass into the wind and watched how they were seemingly floating in the air for a few inches, then wafted down onto the cracked concrete pavement of the walkway surrounding the patch of green she was sitting on.
The first drops of rain got caught in the little hairs on her forearms that were slung around her legs. The next few joined them and soon rivers of droplets ran down her arms, then it came pouring down, wetness soaking her shirt and jeans, slowly permeating the canvas of her sneakers and letting her hair cling to her scalp.
Still she couldn't feel it, she just watched the whole process in bewildered astonishment.
With both her hands Eli shielded the next cigarette from the intensity of the downpour. And the next.
She registered someone calling out to her, begging in a pleading voice that she should get up and back inside, but the words couldn't set her into motion.
When determined hands gripped her shoulders and shook her, she shrugged them off. As they tried again, she shoved them away forcefully.
Sofia stepped hurriedly off grass and a few paces away from Eli. She couldn't stop the choking sobs that racked her body now, helplessly watching her friend deny her support, her care, soaked to the bone as she was but oblivious to the fact just as she seemed to be to the cold. Lt. Sofia Curtis however trembled all over, her teeth clattered and her tears had yet to stop falling. If only she knew what to do. Her own pain and grief were just barely endurable, she couldn't even imagine what Eli would be feeling. What the woman was going through.
She made one last effort to reach out to Eli, crouched down beside her, touching her arm tentatively and was immediately pushed away so aggressively that she landed flat on her ass on the wet ground. Crying even harder than before, she scooted away, out of the shadowed circle of darkness and violence that seemed to have settled around Eli.
For Eli, there was simply no reason to get back inside, no reason to go anywhere, no reason to ever move again. And certainly no reason to react to anyone. She was alone now anyway.
But the pack was almost empty, so at one point she would have to get going. She wondered how many packs you could buy with 37 million dollars. Her head automatically started doing the math. About 740,000. She wondered how much of those she would have to smoke until she'd get terminally ill. Before the cancer would claim her body and she'd be wasting away.
She stretched her legs, noting the pins and needles but she rose effortlessly nonetheless and walked down the path that led towards the dimly lit parking lot, gusts of wind carried heavy raindrops and the street lamps started to flicker every few seconds.
She could hear someone yell, scream behind her as she unlocked the driver's side door, but just ignored them again. As soon as she was seated, she let the Impala's engine roar to life with an impressive growl, effectively shutting out any noises that came from outside the car, and with screeching tires she backed out of the parking space, swerving around the person who was now trying to get in the way she headed through the gate and pulled into traffic.
*******
The stereo was blaring and on the passenger seat were four new packs Lucky Strike's, a sixpack of Heineken, and a couple of energy drinks as Eli drove out into the desert, leaving the city, the lights, and her behind.
The nausea remained.
She headed west, deeper into the night, away from the first hints of the silver lining along the horizon behind her that announced that a new day was going to arrive soon.
There wasn't going to be a new day for Eli Trent. The darkness that had grown inside of her was impenetrable, permanently tainting every ray of sun that'd ever reach her eyes again.
She pressed the gas pedal into the floorboard and catapulted the powerful and already dangerously fast running car forward on the dusty freeway as the first tear betrayed her previous numbness and left a wet and salty trail as it rolled down her cheek.
Author: TXLtoSFO
Fandom: CSI:LV
Pairing: Sara Sidle/Sofia Curits/OC Eli Trent
Rating: I give it an overall NC-17, cos I don't wanna rate each chapter individually.
Disclaimer: CSI, its characters, places, and situations are property of Jerry Bruckheimer Television, Alliance Atlantis and CBS Productions. This story was written for entertainment, not monetary purposes. Original characters, and this story are intellectual property of the author. Any similarities to existing characters, fictional or real, living or dead, are coincidental and no harm is intended.
Spoiler/Warnings: Character death
Summary/Note: This is a sequel to my story 'Mistakes', which you can find on my LJ or on ff.net, where I go by the name Foodwise. It is dark and ventures completely off canon, there's not much of CSI left you're going to recognise. On ff.net, I called it AU-sequel, because I initially had been planning on continuing Eli and Sara's journey in a lighter, sweeter story, but I came to love this one so much despite it's darkness that I gave up on telling myself there'll ever be another version. In this:
A life-changing event drives Eli away from Vegas. Set roughly three years after the events in 'Mistakes'.
Notes: I consider this story a definite improvement, language-wise. Yet I still have to mention that I am no native speaker and most of this story wasn't beta'd, only the last couple of chapter have been kindly looked over. You will need to have read 'Mistakes' to understand what is happening here. And again, this story contains the death of a major character. Don't say I didn't warn you.
I hope you enjoy reading this. I had a rough, yet amazing time writing it. I'd be delighted to find some reactions. Because this story means a lot to me.
Objects in the rear view mirror
1. One night changed all that mattered
Sofia was simply not strong enough to break Eli's fall. Groaning under the weight of the taller woman, trying to grab her under the arms and support her at least a bit she sank her teeth into her lower lip to smother the cry that would have marked her reaction to what had just been said and she slid beside her best friend onto the grey linoleum floor that reeked of bleach, while her lip split and the taste of iron triggered the overflow of the tears that had just waited for their moment to start falling.
The ceiling fan's monotonous swooshing, its blades casting eerie shadows enlarged by the harsh neon lighting, the shuffling of feet away from them, she didn't know where to look, what to hear, how to react. She just clung to Eli for dear life, a life that had just lost so much of its meaning.
Everything around Eli had faded. All she could hear was the blood rushing through her ears. Faintly she felt arms being wrapped around her and someone tried to smother their sobs in a vain attempt to be strong for her, but their tears were wetting the fabric of Eli's shirt at the shoulder and the grip around her became painfully tight.
She just stared blankly ahead, at the wall, its colour might have many years ago been an attempt at a joyful yellow, now it was stained with the sandish grey tone of too many desert winds that must've swept through these hallways and a reminder of times where it was allowed to smoke in here, the impressions of hospital bed corners, and the traces of the many people who might've bumped into these walls over the years. Or who might've slid down on them. Like she just had.
Harshly Eli struggled against the arms that held her with the need to get out of their suffocating embrace, no one could be touching her now. She simply ignored the pain-filled gasp as she elbowed herself free and staggered unbalanced to her feet and with a nausea she knew she'd never get rid of for the rest of her life, she stumbled towards the door that led to the stairwell, desperately trying to force some air into her lungs, to at least be able to breathe to make it out. Out, just out, she was driven by the desperate need to get out of there.
Finally in the open, Det. Eli Trent sank down onto a stretch of damp and cold grass in the small park behind Desert Palms Hospital and let the darkness of the desert night engulf her.
She couldn't feel anything apart from that nausea that made her gag. She felt nothing. A hollow shell, robbed of every ability to contain any human emotion. Empty.
She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her jaw, teeth grinding mercilessly. But not a single tear escaped her. She couldn't feel.
Why didn't she feel anything?
She should be screaming, sobbing, punching the walls, curse the heavens above for this.
Yet Eli just sat here, the moisture from the ground slowly drenching the bottom of her simple jeans that had been closest to her bed as the call had reached her, the cold breeze ghosting over her bare arms and she didn't even freeze. Didn't even shiver.
She patted her pockets for cigarettes and her Zippo, lit up with frighteningly steady hands and inhaled deeply. But the familiar rasp in the back of her throat just wouldn't come. She took another long drag and still nothing.
Ripping out a handful of grass she held it up to her nose and sniffed, waiting for the smell she'd loved ever since she could remember to make it through to her brain. She didn't smell a thing. She threw the blades of grass into the wind and watched how they were seemingly floating in the air for a few inches, then wafted down onto the cracked concrete pavement of the walkway surrounding the patch of green she was sitting on.
The first drops of rain got caught in the little hairs on her forearms that were slung around her legs. The next few joined them and soon rivers of droplets ran down her arms, then it came pouring down, wetness soaking her shirt and jeans, slowly permeating the canvas of her sneakers and letting her hair cling to her scalp.
Still she couldn't feel it, she just watched the whole process in bewildered astonishment.
With both her hands Eli shielded the next cigarette from the intensity of the downpour. And the next.
She registered someone calling out to her, begging in a pleading voice that she should get up and back inside, but the words couldn't set her into motion.
When determined hands gripped her shoulders and shook her, she shrugged them off. As they tried again, she shoved them away forcefully.
Sofia stepped hurriedly off grass and a few paces away from Eli. She couldn't stop the choking sobs that racked her body now, helplessly watching her friend deny her support, her care, soaked to the bone as she was but oblivious to the fact just as she seemed to be to the cold. Lt. Sofia Curtis however trembled all over, her teeth clattered and her tears had yet to stop falling. If only she knew what to do. Her own pain and grief were just barely endurable, she couldn't even imagine what Eli would be feeling. What the woman was going through.
She made one last effort to reach out to Eli, crouched down beside her, touching her arm tentatively and was immediately pushed away so aggressively that she landed flat on her ass on the wet ground. Crying even harder than before, she scooted away, out of the shadowed circle of darkness and violence that seemed to have settled around Eli.
For Eli, there was simply no reason to get back inside, no reason to go anywhere, no reason to ever move again. And certainly no reason to react to anyone. She was alone now anyway.
But the pack was almost empty, so at one point she would have to get going. She wondered how many packs you could buy with 37 million dollars. Her head automatically started doing the math. About 740,000. She wondered how much of those she would have to smoke until she'd get terminally ill. Before the cancer would claim her body and she'd be wasting away.
She stretched her legs, noting the pins and needles but she rose effortlessly nonetheless and walked down the path that led towards the dimly lit parking lot, gusts of wind carried heavy raindrops and the street lamps started to flicker every few seconds.
She could hear someone yell, scream behind her as she unlocked the driver's side door, but just ignored them again. As soon as she was seated, she let the Impala's engine roar to life with an impressive growl, effectively shutting out any noises that came from outside the car, and with screeching tires she backed out of the parking space, swerving around the person who was now trying to get in the way she headed through the gate and pulled into traffic.
*******
The stereo was blaring and on the passenger seat were four new packs Lucky Strike's, a sixpack of Heineken, and a couple of energy drinks as Eli drove out into the desert, leaving the city, the lights, and her behind.
The nausea remained.
She headed west, deeper into the night, away from the first hints of the silver lining along the horizon behind her that announced that a new day was going to arrive soon.
There wasn't going to be a new day for Eli Trent. The darkness that had grown inside of her was impenetrable, permanently tainting every ray of sun that'd ever reach her eyes again.
She pressed the gas pedal into the floorboard and catapulted the powerful and already dangerously fast running car forward on the dusty freeway as the first tear betrayed her previous numbness and left a wet and salty trail as it rolled down her cheek.