drowned
it’s like i’m floating away
i want to float away
an aimless balloon in the sky
floating
i can’t breathe, i’m drowning, i should be drowning, i could drown,
i want to drown
(i do not want to die)
i’m helpless i’m lost i’m numb
i can count the stars, but i can’t find you
i keep waiting and waiting and waiting
but i still can’t figure out
just where you are
where are you?
(you are not here)
if i could just get under the water
perhaps
i’d find you floating there
in the sky with me
i dream about him a lot. i'd say nightly but i don't always remember my dreams so i cannot be positive that is truth, but it feels like it is. they are good dreams, excessively normal dreams. nothing mythological, symbolic, or archetypal. just him, there, with me, where he should be, but only there. i also had a dream where his mother was there (she died about two months before him; she was under their sister's care with alzheimer's) and we were discussing him, his little idiosyncrasies. she was telling me about him as a little boy. another one we were at some sort of stadium. i don't know where or why, but the guy next to me was having a meltdown.
mostly he is 'my' david, but sometimes he is rockstar david: long hair, dark curls and that sweet, innocent, sexy, gorgeous face with the distant gaze. i just wish i remembered them more. they seem to fade too quickly.
i feel expectant, empty, like i've forgot something, and like i'm waiting on something. i also feel like he's just slipping away from me. and if i don't pay close enough attention he'll be gone.
where are you david?
i want to float away
an aimless balloon in the sky
floating
i can’t breathe, i’m drowning, i should be drowning, i could drown,
i want to drown
(i do not want to die)
i’m helpless i’m lost i’m numb
i can count the stars, but i can’t find you
i keep waiting and waiting and waiting
but i still can’t figure out
just where you are
where are you?
(you are not here)
if i could just get under the water
perhaps
i’d find you floating there
in the sky with me
i dream about him a lot. i'd say nightly but i don't always remember my dreams so i cannot be positive that is truth, but it feels like it is. they are good dreams, excessively normal dreams. nothing mythological, symbolic, or archetypal. just him, there, with me, where he should be, but only there. i also had a dream where his mother was there (she died about two months before him; she was under their sister's care with alzheimer's) and we were discussing him, his little idiosyncrasies. she was telling me about him as a little boy. another one we were at some sort of stadium. i don't know where or why, but the guy next to me was having a meltdown.
mostly he is 'my' david, but sometimes he is rockstar david: long hair, dark curls and that sweet, innocent, sexy, gorgeous face with the distant gaze. i just wish i remembered them more. they seem to fade too quickly.
i feel expectant, empty, like i've forgot something, and like i'm waiting on something. i also feel like he's just slipping away from me. and if i don't pay close enough attention he'll be gone.
where are you david?