Lifes little emberassments
Sooo I figured that maybe it might be a good idea to tell all of you about all the really emberassing things I have done in my life so we'll start from when I was litle.
6 yrs old- I was in school one day and I didnt really have the largest attention span so I got up and went to the bathroomand took a shit. Well apparently the shit was super fascinating cause i wrote a whle story on the wall in it washed my hands and went back to class, well about 30 minutes later another kid went to the bathroom and freaked. Noone could remember who was the lasrt one in there so the teacher went down the row of kids smelling our hands, apparently i didnt wash my hads so well cause not only could she smell it she could see it,
10 yrs old I begged for a mullet and had one and i was soooo proud of it and all its mullety glory.
12 yrs old I was in the middle of class and got my first boner and freaked cause i didnt know what the hell was going on so i stood up and asked to go to the nurse cause i thought something was wrong and everyone was laughing except me and the teacher cause i was freaking and she was speachless.
13 yrs old I had a crush on a girl named Reagan Compton so I decided one day I was gonna ask her out so I walked up to her to ask her and got a huge boner and she saw it and laughed and told all her friends .
14 yrs old I saw animals doing it and got a boner...still cant explain that one oh and also one day I wondered what pee tasted like so while I was in the tub once I looked down and peed straight up into my face. It didnt taste too good.
OK now we get into aloder teen years because I dont remember much of my life between 15 and 17 due to habits I had.
18 yrs old I was a new fatherand i didnt know anything aboiut babies. So one day I was eating some chocolate and I had to go change the babies diaper. So I go change the shitty diaper and then I continue eating my chocolate. A few hours go by and I see some chocolate on my hand so I lick it off ...it wasn't chocolate and boy it wasn't tastey at all.
Now comes the fun
19 yrs old I got really drunk once and me and my friends went to Denny's because for some god awful reason we loved that place. So anyways I was super drunk and i had to pee, so I went to the bathroom to pee and i was peeing super hard and farted, well when I farted i shit all over myself i had to go in the stall and take of my boxers and throw em away and use all the toilet paper to clean up luckily noone noticed and all was cool then i went home and noticed there was shit all over my socks.
20 yrs old I went to a party with all my friends and apparently I like to get naked when I shuck down to my boxers and im just kickin it and I pass out well apparently my boxers didnt contain me to well cause I wake up to one of my friends screamin "OH MY GOD JEFF PUT THAT LITTLE THING AWAY " and everyone in the room saw me and my tiny little thing.
21 yrs old I was at my current gf's house and andparents where there and we were all talking and i had to fart well.. it was silent but for some reason extremely wet like throw away your underwear wet...
22 yrs old. I was asleep next to my gf and i hadnt been feeling to well and my stomache hurt so I was laying on my stomache cause it makes me feel way better when it hurts and in the middle of the night i wake up shitting all ovr myself she never knew.
23 I drank alot at 23 so i did alot of dumb shit but most was on a bet or dare I drank piss i went streaking alot random shit i am not too proud of.
24 yrs old As most of you know I am 24 right now Sooo on new years eve we were all drunk and noone was paying attention and I was super drunk and I was outside and talking and laughing with people well I was laughing so hard that i started coughing and i coughe and farted at the sae time and shit my pants...yup on new years i shit my pants at the stroke of midnight noless and noone noticed when i snuck in my room to change and then snuck out the back door with them and threw them away into the field till the next morning when i hunted the down and snuck them into thew trash....
I have done many other emberassing things but these listed are the ones that affected me most i still worry about people knowing any of them and I know i will prolly never hear the end of any of this and I dont care....
6 yrs old- I was in school one day and I didnt really have the largest attention span so I got up and went to the bathroomand took a shit. Well apparently the shit was super fascinating cause i wrote a whle story on the wall in it washed my hands and went back to class, well about 30 minutes later another kid went to the bathroom and freaked. Noone could remember who was the lasrt one in there so the teacher went down the row of kids smelling our hands, apparently i didnt wash my hads so well cause not only could she smell it she could see it,
10 yrs old I begged for a mullet and had one and i was soooo proud of it and all its mullety glory.
12 yrs old I was in the middle of class and got my first boner and freaked cause i didnt know what the hell was going on so i stood up and asked to go to the nurse cause i thought something was wrong and everyone was laughing except me and the teacher cause i was freaking and she was speachless.
13 yrs old I had a crush on a girl named Reagan Compton so I decided one day I was gonna ask her out so I walked up to her to ask her and got a huge boner and she saw it and laughed and told all her friends .
14 yrs old I saw animals doing it and got a boner...still cant explain that one oh and also one day I wondered what pee tasted like so while I was in the tub once I looked down and peed straight up into my face. It didnt taste too good.
OK now we get into aloder teen years because I dont remember much of my life between 15 and 17 due to habits I had.
18 yrs old I was a new fatherand i didnt know anything aboiut babies. So one day I was eating some chocolate and I had to go change the babies diaper. So I go change the shitty diaper and then I continue eating my chocolate. A few hours go by and I see some chocolate on my hand so I lick it off ...it wasn't chocolate and boy it wasn't tastey at all.
Now comes the fun
19 yrs old I got really drunk once and me and my friends went to Denny's because for some god awful reason we loved that place. So anyways I was super drunk and i had to pee, so I went to the bathroom to pee and i was peeing super hard and farted, well when I farted i shit all over myself i had to go in the stall and take of my boxers and throw em away and use all the toilet paper to clean up luckily noone noticed and all was cool then i went home and noticed there was shit all over my socks.
20 yrs old I went to a party with all my friends and apparently I like to get naked when I shuck down to my boxers and im just kickin it and I pass out well apparently my boxers didnt contain me to well cause I wake up to one of my friends screamin "OH MY GOD JEFF PUT THAT LITTLE THING AWAY " and everyone in the room saw me and my tiny little thing.
21 yrs old I was at my current gf's house and andparents where there and we were all talking and i had to fart well.. it was silent but for some reason extremely wet like throw away your underwear wet...
22 yrs old. I was asleep next to my gf and i hadnt been feeling to well and my stomache hurt so I was laying on my stomache cause it makes me feel way better when it hurts and in the middle of the night i wake up shitting all ovr myself she never knew.
23 I drank alot at 23 so i did alot of dumb shit but most was on a bet or dare I drank piss i went streaking alot random shit i am not too proud of.
24 yrs old As most of you know I am 24 right now Sooo on new years eve we were all drunk and noone was paying attention and I was super drunk and I was outside and talking and laughing with people well I was laughing so hard that i started coughing and i coughe and farted at the sae time and shit my pants...yup on new years i shit my pants at the stroke of midnight noless and noone noticed when i snuck in my room to change and then snuck out the back door with them and threw them away into the field till the next morning when i hunted the down and snuck them into thew trash....
I have done many other emberassing things but these listed are the ones that affected me most i still worry about people knowing any of them and I know i will prolly never hear the end of any of this and I dont care....