(no subject)
so there have been some very interesting posts on the feminist blog i read. one was about how we shouldn't want to tell fat ppl that they are attractive b/c then we'd be encouraging an 'unhealthy lifestyle.'
so, i got to thinking about that. first, i don't think that being fat is a guarantee of unattractiveness. i know plenty of very attractive ppl who are in the range of slightly above average to obese. and it really irritates me that anyone would dare to call these ppl unattractive, not beautiful, or even average based solely on the idea that the simply can't be attractive if they're not thin. or that regardless of whether they find that person attractive, they wouldn't say so for fear of encouraging someone to be 'unhealthy.' if you think someone's attractive, why not just accept that and say so? also, how do you know if the person is unhealthy? are you their physician? are you psychic? if the answer to either is negative, then you really don't know if they're healthy or not. they may appear unhealthy TO YOU. but you really don't know. and, really, even if they are about to drop over dead from being fat... is that your concern? does it impact your life? maybe so. maybe it's your mom or your dad or your spouse. then perhaps you really do have a vested interest in their life. otherwise, why the hell do you care what they do w/their own bodies?
then there was this FANTASTIC post wherein a fellow fattie shared her experiences of being fat. the post was really inspirational to me b/c i could certainly relate to a lot of it. tho the o/p was abused and had a really, disgustingly awful time as a kid and young adult and i did not. my life was fairly normal and decent. i wasn't beaten or raped or anything like that as a kid. what is comparable is that my family and teachers flat out told me that i was fat. i was constantly told that i really should lose some weight. and when i look back at pictures of myself at a younger age, i was slightly above average to average. but i was definitely not fat. i was 5'6" in high school and weighed about 135-145. totally average! but i let others convince me that i was enormous. and i was pretty healthy as well. at least physically! i think my emotional health was a bit suspect. i don't know that i have recovered from that. i still find food to be some kind of comfort. but i also have a lot of guilt around food. i feel guilty if i eat food that i want or food that is 'not healthy' or food that tastes good. i feel guilty if i eat anything! if i have a single cookie, i am left feeling bad about it later. i also notice that i feel really guilty if i don't exercise daily. and why is that? there are tons of ppl in the world that eat cookies and don't exercise. and i'm not sure, but i suspect that the non-fat ppl who eat cookies and don't exercise don't feel all that bad about it. i know some do. but i'm even more sure that they don't get harassed about it nor do i think they are shamed about it as fat ppl are. why is it anyone else's business what i put in my mouth or if i work up a sweat? if i wanted to sit on a sofa all day long and eat only cake and ice cream while i smoke a cigar and shoot up w/heroin, then that is really my own business. yeah, not that i'm gonna do that, but still!
also, someone brought up some really interesting points about 'healthy' eating. first, it doesn't look the same for everyone. and i don't mean that some ppl are allergic to fish or can't eat soy or whatever else is considered 'health' food at any given time. what if your main contact w/other ppl is food related? what if your main time w/your family is food related? what if your eating habits change so drastically that you don't eat w/other ppl any more? what if that gives you severe depression? is that healthy? what if you view your quality of life to have gone down significantly if you give up all the foods you love and eat foods that are 'healthy' but don't taste good to you? is that healthy behavior? what if you become obsessive about your appearance being perfect? is that what we want? is it what I want? not really.
i want to enjoy my food. i want to not feel guilty about eating or drinking whatever i want. i want to feel beautiful all the time... or at least most of the time! and i don't want to be judged as weak, lazy, lacking in willpower, less than normal, or stupid b/c of how i look. namely... fat! also, last saturday, i felt beautiful for the first time in a long time. and i weigh no more or less than the day before or the day after. i felt beautiful for several days afterward too. i liked it. and i plan on remembering that feeling more often.
so, i got to thinking about that. first, i don't think that being fat is a guarantee of unattractiveness. i know plenty of very attractive ppl who are in the range of slightly above average to obese. and it really irritates me that anyone would dare to call these ppl unattractive, not beautiful, or even average based solely on the idea that the simply can't be attractive if they're not thin. or that regardless of whether they find that person attractive, they wouldn't say so for fear of encouraging someone to be 'unhealthy.' if you think someone's attractive, why not just accept that and say so? also, how do you know if the person is unhealthy? are you their physician? are you psychic? if the answer to either is negative, then you really don't know if they're healthy or not. they may appear unhealthy TO YOU. but you really don't know. and, really, even if they are about to drop over dead from being fat... is that your concern? does it impact your life? maybe so. maybe it's your mom or your dad or your spouse. then perhaps you really do have a vested interest in their life. otherwise, why the hell do you care what they do w/their own bodies?
then there was this FANTASTIC post wherein a fellow fattie shared her experiences of being fat. the post was really inspirational to me b/c i could certainly relate to a lot of it. tho the o/p was abused and had a really, disgustingly awful time as a kid and young adult and i did not. my life was fairly normal and decent. i wasn't beaten or raped or anything like that as a kid. what is comparable is that my family and teachers flat out told me that i was fat. i was constantly told that i really should lose some weight. and when i look back at pictures of myself at a younger age, i was slightly above average to average. but i was definitely not fat. i was 5'6" in high school and weighed about 135-145. totally average! but i let others convince me that i was enormous. and i was pretty healthy as well. at least physically! i think my emotional health was a bit suspect. i don't know that i have recovered from that. i still find food to be some kind of comfort. but i also have a lot of guilt around food. i feel guilty if i eat food that i want or food that is 'not healthy' or food that tastes good. i feel guilty if i eat anything! if i have a single cookie, i am left feeling bad about it later. i also notice that i feel really guilty if i don't exercise daily. and why is that? there are tons of ppl in the world that eat cookies and don't exercise. and i'm not sure, but i suspect that the non-fat ppl who eat cookies and don't exercise don't feel all that bad about it. i know some do. but i'm even more sure that they don't get harassed about it nor do i think they are shamed about it as fat ppl are. why is it anyone else's business what i put in my mouth or if i work up a sweat? if i wanted to sit on a sofa all day long and eat only cake and ice cream while i smoke a cigar and shoot up w/heroin, then that is really my own business. yeah, not that i'm gonna do that, but still!
also, someone brought up some really interesting points about 'healthy' eating. first, it doesn't look the same for everyone. and i don't mean that some ppl are allergic to fish or can't eat soy or whatever else is considered 'health' food at any given time. what if your main contact w/other ppl is food related? what if your main time w/your family is food related? what if your eating habits change so drastically that you don't eat w/other ppl any more? what if that gives you severe depression? is that healthy? what if you view your quality of life to have gone down significantly if you give up all the foods you love and eat foods that are 'healthy' but don't taste good to you? is that healthy behavior? what if you become obsessive about your appearance being perfect? is that what we want? is it what I want? not really.
i want to enjoy my food. i want to not feel guilty about eating or drinking whatever i want. i want to feel beautiful all the time... or at least most of the time! and i don't want to be judged as weak, lazy, lacking in willpower, less than normal, or stupid b/c of how i look. namely... fat! also, last saturday, i felt beautiful for the first time in a long time. and i weigh no more or less than the day before or the day after. i felt beautiful for several days afterward too. i liked it. and i plan on remembering that feeling more often.