Letters Part 2
After writng the 16 letters last week, it really made me feel better about certain relationships I have. It feels great to let things be said that you might take for granted or second guess because you don't want to feel awkward or not have the feelings recipricated.
Here's 10 more letters, enjoy.
1.) Okay, when I write this for you it can't be just FOR YOU. It has to be for the BOTH of you. You both understand why too, because eveytime well, okay 85% of the time we hang out it's always the 3 of us not just one on one. Out of ALL of my friends I can honeslty say you two mean the most, and that's saying a lot! Unlike all my other friends (who are girls) I know I can confide in you two and be taken seriously and my needs will be met. You both know just what to say to cheer me up or snap me out of a funk. Let alone, to solve my "drama". I love you both so much and really miss you. I had such a great time on my birthday seeing you after so long (WAY TOO LONG), I hope we get to hang out soon and go on another "adventure through the metroplex", I miss driving everywhere with you two and jamming to music most don't get, or checking out every mall we can find, which is weird because I enjoy going to the mall with 2 guys rather than my girlfriends and you both aren't even gay! (well, Ryan isn't haha) I hope you both understand how much you mean to me, I love you both so very much and I know since I got married we haven't seen each other like the old days but that doesn't mean I'm not able to hang out with you anymore! You two are the only straight guy the hubby doesn't mind me staying out with all night!!!! I love you both and miss you dearly.
2.) Hey mister Dj put a record on, I wanna DANCE!! haha, can you believe where we are in our lives right now? Seems like yesterday Megan dragged me to that pajama party on my 18th brithday and I met you and...well, you know who. From the first night I met you to now, I have enjoyed being your friend. Your a very deep thinker and it seems like anything you put your mind to, you get done. I admire your faith and strong spirituality and that says a lot considering when we met you were a crazy party machine/ man whore. (haha ladies man) I'm so proud of you, I hope you know that, you're such an amazing person and wonderful guy...not to mention funny as all get out! I'm glad we're still friends consdiering when things went bad with Chris, I assumed I'd lost all the firends I made through him and so far I still have a few. I'm always here for you and will always be around to answer those tricky life questions you seem to have a passion to solving.(no, you don't look like Tony Stuart) I enjoy your show every evening on PowerFM, keep the faith and remember to let the good times roll.
3.) Alright Redneck, I suppose I'll have to do the unfavorable "mushy talk" about you. Did you think I wouldn't write you a letter? *deep breath* I don't know where to start with you....I could sit here for the rest of the day and think of nothing but years of hilarious memories with you down to the painful ones where we both were sad. You were the first friend I ever had, the first one to not make fun of me for being fat, the first one to defend me when I was being picked on,the first one to be nice to me at school, the first one to get me in trouble with my parents too! I have known you for soooo long. The best part of my childhood was YOU. I'll never forget all our crazy times....chucky, bear, four wheelin, getting lost for 4 hours in the woods, the houseboat, jet skis, trampoline, shane ranft and creed, the bus to and from school with all the crazies!, brett hull and the red wings, FEDEROV, walking in our neighborhood (not safe now), sneaking out, wall ball, boys, me running your head over in my gokart LMAO, ALF, that awesome bread machine, YOU DON'T KNOW JACK!, our lady peace, you shooting me in the arm with a blowdart(still have the scar), Miss kitty. Your dad ANYTIME, staying the night lasted for 3 days at a time, driving without licenses (haha),You weraing a Tiara to school because you thought it was cool, Boxing. . . . I could go on and on. We were such Tomboys and now look at us! We started drifting apart in high school, you were the with the popular crowd and I was more the choir girl....I doubt people would have put us together as being best friends, you were still the same to me....you've always been there for me too, no matter if I wanted to admit I needed you or not. We don't have to talk everyday or see each other all the time but if you need me or I need you, we're ALWAYS there as this unspoken rule of sorts.... My mom misses you. She always considered you a daughter just like your dad alway joked about me being his daughter...we're more than firends but at the same time we have never done the whole BFF thing (because you'd kick my butt if I tried) but to me, we don't have to.....I know what you are in my life and what you mean to me and that's enough. You know, I never even thanked you for being there for me and my family when my dad(grandpa) died, I was rushed off to colorado the next day and didn't even get to call you to let you know what happened but mom told me you came, how you stayed until everyone left and were there for her and jonathon which meant a lot to her. Your Family. I hope you know that and I'm always here for you.
4.) The chances f you reading this are slim to none but I still feel like I need to say a few things. I watch you with jackye, how you treat her, how you talk down to her and it saddens me to no end! How is it possible that after 4 failed attempts to be a father you still find no fault on yourself?! How can you honestly think the world has done you wrong and you are not to blame?? Can't you see your close to losing Jackye too!? She's going to grow up, just like the rest of us and she might break free from your mental assaults and then where will you be?ALONE. You and I have come to that pivital understanding that it's better for us to be friends then father/daughter a long time ago, and I'm okay with that. But you wonder why I wouldn't let you give me away on my wedding day and you got upset when I told you my real dad died 3 years before so that's why Jonathon was the ONLY man I would allow to do what was grandpas right. You should be so GRATEFUL to the few men who came in my life and acted as a stand in dad because you couldn't do it. You make me so mad when you talk about the Marines and how you did this and that and all the other things you think happened. You are NOT a Marine, you were discharged, you NEVER saw action and the only traveling you did was to Okinawa and for like what, 2 months before being sent back because she got caught by the cops.......they let you go because you and your wife were being torn apart by the state of california for neglecting your children! You claim we were kidnapped and brainwashed to think things about you that aren't true but have you ever asked me what things I remember since I was the oldest?!? The cruel ways you taught jonathon at 2 years of age how to be a man and not to cry because "men don't cry"...or how you never wanted to be around us because you'd rather smoke your marijuana with her and her trashy friends. You brought your own saddness on yourself. I've always offered to be there for Jackye and you've always been honest to me when it comes to her and how you have no clue sometimes to what your doing.....let her be a teenage girl! She's going to make mistakes (she's already making one right now) she's going to have an attitude towards you and she is always going to need money for this that and the other....it's what being a teenage girl is all about. I hope you wake up some day and realize what a wasted life you've lived, I hope you come to your senses soon and make the effort with Jackye.
5.) You were the Best and Worst thing in my life. I loved you like I have Never loved anyone before, you taught me so many things about love and life, then after the freshness of our relationship wore off...you became something else. I will never allow a man to hurt me the way you did. NEVER. You broke my heart with the last thing you said to me, how dare you say what you did when I was going through what I was...I know you were hurt too but you didn't go through the physical pain I did, or the emotional meltdown I had! I should not have felt ashamed and you made me out to be something I never was..I thought my family finding out would be the worst part of it all but you proved me and them wrong. Thank God I got away from you when I did, the only sad part is that it took a miscarriage to see the real you.I lost so much because of you!....I'm sure your dad was a big influence in it all, you wonder why we were on a break after the countless times I begged you to prove to me you could stand up to your dad and tell him you loved me. Was me not being of your familys culture really that bad?! I guess I'll never know if you finally got the nerve to stand up to him, I pray you did. My life is filled with so much love now, I found a GREAT MAN who knows how to stand up for me and shows me daily how a woman should be treated, he accepts my flaws and bad habits and has never tried to change me or control me. I have my friends back (yes, that's right you couldn't stop them from being there for me) who are still supportive. I heard you changed, that you've finally graduated with a different major and are doing well...I hope that's the case. I've forgiven you of all the hurt and all the anger and I honest to God pray that you will find happiness again and become your own man and not what your dad wanted you to become.
6.) Dawson,Angel,DannyBoy......I love you. I support you and I'm so proud of the man you are changing into. Life is so inspiring with you and your star is shining brighter with each day. I heart you mucho.
7.) You sing so beautifully, I sit and listen to you all the time and just daydream about the day you'll realize you should love me and make a whole new cd of love songs dedicated just to me! Marry me?
8.) 5 years and we're friends again, I'm glad. we were so young and going through our own personal battles. the 3 months I dated you were so confusing (still are just thinking about them) but you know....I wouldn't trade those 3 months for the world. You were a good boyfriend and your an exceptional friend. I have yet to be given a better Valentine's day then the one you gave me! haha, Your amasing and I enjoy our talks no matter how serious they are. I'm here for you 24/7 just as you have been there for me. I wish I could say more but we both know why I won't.....stay strong, you're doing fine.
9.) Gusser gusser, bo busser, banana fanna, bo gusser, me mi mo musser...GUSSER! (haha)
10.) To my Sissies- How much I wish we could go back a year and talk like we used to.....we're all growing up!!! You with the baby coming and hubby across the nation to you missy with graduating college soon and still being with your "hunny". I hope you both know how much I love you and that it's never been my intention to not be there for you or around as often.....when I find the time I try to write to you like we used to, but life is so hectic! I LOVE YOU BOTH MORE THAN YOU'LL KNOW. I'm always here for you. I'm so happy for the way things are in both your lives.