Who's got the holiday spirit?
So I realize that many people won't be reading this for a while if at all but I just came back from my first of many family events and needed to put it down in writing my thoughts.
I'm not trying to be all scrugey or anything but honestly, I don't really care for the holidays. You got all these people running around like crazed maniacs trying to buy the best material position that reflects thier love. I'm not saying that I'm clean of this either. I by gifts just like the rest of you. But really thats just a tack on to what i was thinking tonight.
I'mnot good at family gatherings. I don't really know my releatives and I've never really had an urge to get to know them. We see each other on thanksgiving and on christmas for my dad's side and just on Christmas for my mom's. Tonight however I saw my cousin and his wife and thier like 3 year old kid who I hadn't seen in almost 4 years. Thier son never seen. I just feel awkward in these situations. I don't know what to say, I just answer questions about how I like, or don't like school. Make up shit about what I want to do when I get out because I don't know what I want to do when I get out.
I can never remember names either which frustrates me and makes me pull back from conversations. I see these people once or twice a year. Their never in my mind except then, so how am I expected to remember thier names. Yesterday I was at Dayton's downtown with my family and I ran into a girl I worked with all of last summer and the summer before and I couldn't even remember her name! I'm terrible at that.
My last rant is about children. Quite frankly I dont like being around little kids. I'm not a kid person,and especially not a baby person. That's probably why the idea of having a kid right now terrifies me to know end. But like, I don't know how to interact with them. I dont want to talk down to them but I don't want to talk over them, you know? Anyway, it looks like I've got an uncomfortable two days ahead of me and the sooner it's over the happier I think I'll be.
p.s. - I just realized how much of a downer this entry was. But I typed it all out and dont feel like deleting it.
I'm not trying to be all scrugey or anything but honestly, I don't really care for the holidays. You got all these people running around like crazed maniacs trying to buy the best material position that reflects thier love. I'm not saying that I'm clean of this either. I by gifts just like the rest of you. But really thats just a tack on to what i was thinking tonight.
I'mnot good at family gatherings. I don't really know my releatives and I've never really had an urge to get to know them. We see each other on thanksgiving and on christmas for my dad's side and just on Christmas for my mom's. Tonight however I saw my cousin and his wife and thier like 3 year old kid who I hadn't seen in almost 4 years. Thier son never seen. I just feel awkward in these situations. I don't know what to say, I just answer questions about how I like, or don't like school. Make up shit about what I want to do when I get out because I don't know what I want to do when I get out.
I can never remember names either which frustrates me and makes me pull back from conversations. I see these people once or twice a year. Their never in my mind except then, so how am I expected to remember thier names. Yesterday I was at Dayton's downtown with my family and I ran into a girl I worked with all of last summer and the summer before and I couldn't even remember her name! I'm terrible at that.
My last rant is about children. Quite frankly I dont like being around little kids. I'm not a kid person,and especially not a baby person. That's probably why the idea of having a kid right now terrifies me to know end. But like, I don't know how to interact with them. I dont want to talk down to them but I don't want to talk over them, you know? Anyway, it looks like I've got an uncomfortable two days ahead of me and the sooner it's over the happier I think I'll be.
p.s. - I just realized how much of a downer this entry was. But I typed it all out and dont feel like deleting it.