"I don't exist when you don't see me."
It's all about balance. I got hop back into the director's seat for one rehearsal, and my adrenal gland finally caught on. Inertia falls away and action rushes to fill the void. Euphoria comes from juggling too many things - the vision clears and the mind leaps to the correct decisions without all the waffling and debating. It was glorious.
With great freedom comes great flexibility, and with a multitude of choices comes paralysis. I never thought I'd freeze up, but here I am: staring at the buffet and letting others cut ahead of me because I can't decide what to eat. I have opportunities that I never thought I'd have, and a part of me is stuck frittering away life fulfilling someone else's creative vision and limiting my horizons to someone else's world view.
I choose to be better than I am now. I choose to pay attention to what's important to me. I choose to speak and write and think and create and do and enjoy. I choose. I still need to spring clean my head as well as my bookshelves and my house. There's not enough time to live anywhen else but now. Living There and Then paves the way to madness, as the mind tricks us out of living Here and Now. We ignore the bounty of the moment to steep in memory in an attempt to feel better, to "relive the glory days".
Maybe it was better back then. I feel like I had more time to concentrate, and I know I didn't have the demands on my time that a growing daughter imposes on me now. But that's OK - there's still plenty of life to go around and I have exactly the same rate of nowness that I had back in college.
So why not create? Why not meet with friends more? Why limit my experience of the world? Why wait for external forces to impose their will on my life instead of focusing my will on improving life for more than just myself?
Now Go. Live right now. Eat and drink and look and INHALE and find out what those things mean.
With great freedom comes great flexibility, and with a multitude of choices comes paralysis. I never thought I'd freeze up, but here I am: staring at the buffet and letting others cut ahead of me because I can't decide what to eat. I have opportunities that I never thought I'd have, and a part of me is stuck frittering away life fulfilling someone else's creative vision and limiting my horizons to someone else's world view.
I choose to be better than I am now. I choose to pay attention to what's important to me. I choose to speak and write and think and create and do and enjoy. I choose. I still need to spring clean my head as well as my bookshelves and my house. There's not enough time to live anywhen else but now. Living There and Then paves the way to madness, as the mind tricks us out of living Here and Now. We ignore the bounty of the moment to steep in memory in an attempt to feel better, to "relive the glory days".
Maybe it was better back then. I feel like I had more time to concentrate, and I know I didn't have the demands on my time that a growing daughter imposes on me now. But that's OK - there's still plenty of life to go around and I have exactly the same rate of nowness that I had back in college.
So why not create? Why not meet with friends more? Why limit my experience of the world? Why wait for external forces to impose their will on my life instead of focusing my will on improving life for more than just myself?
Now Go. Live right now. Eat and drink and look and INHALE and find out what those things mean.