jess, i know it can be rough. being at drew is to launch yourself into a cut-throat race for social survival. it's academic, and it's atheltic. and what about those of us in between? why, we fall between the cracks. i'm not going to lie. last year i had a grand total of about 4 or 5 friends whom i really trusted. 1 fucked me over. 2 transferred. 3 are alienated. and 2 have stayed. i have two friends to my name, besides you and alex (kinda). i'm a totally different monster when i'm here, who is no longer spiritual and contemplative and creative and easy-going, but dominated by books, deadlines, and an overwhelming sense of loneliness. the only reason i don't give up on drew is because the psychology program to is too good to pass up for... what? brookdale? i know how you feel. if being alone has caused you to make mistakes (like it usually does for us all), then maybe a step into seclusion and social renunciation is in order for a little bit. just to figure yourself out. it's a defining time, this "college" thing. bigger and scarier than high school ever was or will be. it's up to you to decide who and what is important in your life, and why, and what you need to do to make sure you have that. no one else can do that for you. i've gone through this identity-crisis. i spent my whole first semester with my door shut and locked on the weekends, because i didn't know who i could trust myself to be. and come winter break, i hated myself for the selection i made. but it's not impossible to return safely to the ground which is stable for you. it just takes a few deep breaths, many good looks around, and honesty. that's all you can ask of yourself, is to just be honest with yourself. no one will hurt you for that. just make sure you don't hurt yourself. be gentle. but if you ever want a cup of hot chocolate and an ear to bestow your observations upon, you have a willing confidante the next building over. i'm here for you. say the word and i'm there. i know you can be the strong jessica i've grown to know and love, if you give yourself enough credit to be. <3
i know it can be rough. being at drew is to launch yourself into a cut-throat race for social survival. it's academic, and it's atheltic. and what about those of us in between?
why, we fall between the cracks.
i'm not going to lie. last year i had a grand total of about 4 or 5 friends whom i really trusted.
1 fucked me over. 2 transferred. 3 are alienated. and 2 have stayed. i have two friends to my name, besides you and alex (kinda).
i'm a totally different monster when i'm here, who is no longer spiritual and contemplative and creative and easy-going, but dominated by books, deadlines, and an overwhelming sense of loneliness. the only reason i don't give up on drew is because the psychology program to is too good to pass up for... what? brookdale?
i know how you feel. if being alone has caused you to make mistakes (like it usually does for us all), then maybe a step into seclusion and social renunciation is in order for a little bit. just to figure yourself out.
it's a defining time, this "college" thing. bigger and scarier than high school ever was or will be.
it's up to you to decide who and what is important in your life, and why, and what you need to do to make sure you have that. no one else can do that for you.
i've gone through this identity-crisis. i spent my whole first semester with my door shut and locked on the weekends, because i didn't know who i could trust myself to be. and come winter break, i hated myself for the selection i made.
but it's not impossible to return safely to the ground which is stable for you. it just takes a few deep breaths, many good looks around, and honesty.
that's all you can ask of yourself, is to just be honest with yourself. no one will hurt you for that. just make sure you don't hurt yourself. be gentle.
but if you ever want a cup of hot chocolate and an ear to bestow your observations upon, you have a willing confidante the next building over.
i'm here for you. say the word and i'm there.
i know you can be the strong jessica i've grown to know and love, if you give yourself enough credit to be.
<3
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