Fuck.
I really want to get high soon.
I'm way too overwhelmed.
I'm sick of having nothing to show for myself, but I know it's my own fault. I mess up whenever things start to be alright. I wish I hadn't lost/given up my last job, I could have really used the money, and I really fucking loved that job. It's a shitty feeling to loose a job you love. I'm sick of it hapening, I honestly don't know if I'm unknowingly doing it to myself, or if I'm just really really bad at doing things. I hate that the only way I can trust myself to wake up early is if I stay up all night. Which is what I am doing right now. I hope my next job feels like I'm doing something. But, I know I'm going to be washing dishes or some kind of bullshit. Whatever. That's what I get for not thinking work is important. I get unimportant work.
I want to get high.
I am excited for my life to get in place in Michigan, just not excited that it's going to take a really fucking long time to pay everything I owe, and hopefully pay off a driving ticket, so that I can keep my liscense. It's fucking stupid how much tickets cost, it really pisses me off.
Michigan, I'll have to find where I fit in.
I know that I don't exactly fit in where I used to.
I don't drink a 40 to "unwind" anymore.
I don't really drink that much anymore, which makes hanging out with a lot of people not even an option.
I'm in a really terrible mood.
I am soooooo hungry, but not about to eat Ramen, it makes me nautious lately. But Safeway opens in a few hours.
I am so pissed at myself, I wish I understood myself. God fucking dammit.
I'm way too overwhelmed.
I'm sick of having nothing to show for myself, but I know it's my own fault. I mess up whenever things start to be alright. I wish I hadn't lost/given up my last job, I could have really used the money, and I really fucking loved that job. It's a shitty feeling to loose a job you love. I'm sick of it hapening, I honestly don't know if I'm unknowingly doing it to myself, or if I'm just really really bad at doing things. I hate that the only way I can trust myself to wake up early is if I stay up all night. Which is what I am doing right now. I hope my next job feels like I'm doing something. But, I know I'm going to be washing dishes or some kind of bullshit. Whatever. That's what I get for not thinking work is important. I get unimportant work.
I want to get high.
I am excited for my life to get in place in Michigan, just not excited that it's going to take a really fucking long time to pay everything I owe, and hopefully pay off a driving ticket, so that I can keep my liscense. It's fucking stupid how much tickets cost, it really pisses me off.
Michigan, I'll have to find where I fit in.
I know that I don't exactly fit in where I used to.
I don't drink a 40 to "unwind" anymore.
I don't really drink that much anymore, which makes hanging out with a lot of people not even an option.
I'm in a really terrible mood.
I am soooooo hungry, but not about to eat Ramen, it makes me nautious lately. But Safeway opens in a few hours.
I am so pissed at myself, I wish I understood myself. God fucking dammit.