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Suddenly my mind gave way to thousands of unanswered questions about the quality and worth of my life, the good of humanity and the relation between the two. I felt exposed, revealed as dirty and corrupt. I felt cruel, uncaring and fictitious. This accusation struck deep, in a place I've long felt nothing, it unwrapped ancient layers of certainty and conviction. My stomach tightened in a sick, nervous fashion and the blood ran from my face as I wallowed in this censure. Am I ugly, greedy and manipulative under this facet? Is there a constant stream of blood-thirsty worms crawling deceitfully from my pustulating eye sockets to my stormy cerebral cortex to my plum-rotten heart, carrying impulses of individual gain and emotional emptiness? I must be infected with a hunger for trickery, must be devoid of empathy.
Yesterday, I lost all faith that my life has been spent working towards something beautiful and alive and infinite. Feeling as though I, singly, had severed that strand in the web of mankind connecting us through humanity and compassion. Abandoned in myself, I failed to see what had always been the final goal. Understanding.
Yesterday, I lost all faith that my life has been spent working towards something beautiful and alive and infinite. Feeling as though I, singly, had severed that strand in the web of mankind connecting us through humanity and compassion. Abandoned in myself, I failed to see what had always been the final goal. Understanding.