1158; LJ Idol Week 5: Inconceivable
For as far back as I can remember, I never quite understood the whole religion thing. When I was young my mom would bring me along with her to Mass every Sunday morning, or more likely Saturday afternoons. I remember sitting in the pews, usually in the middle of the church, and “listening” to the readings, the Gospel and the priest’s sermon. And by listening I do mean gazing around and daydreaming and only actually listening when my mother elbowed me and hissed, “Pay attention!” I really never understood what they were talking about when I did pay attention so I would go back to looking around at everything and anyone in a matter of minutes.
Even when I started CCD I still didn’t “get” it. I remember being at Sunday School in the church’s school while my parents and sister were at Mass. It was okay, I suppose. We read stories and sang songs which is usually entertaining for a five or six year old…but they were always about God. Not quite as fun. The stories didn’t make sense to me either. So you’re saying an old man wrangled up two of every animal on the planet and stuck them on his boat so they would survive a flood? There were other stories that we were told too, but that one always stuck out in my mind.
As I got older and continued in my religious education, I didn’t really “get” it more and more and more. I didn’t really think I believed in God or much of anything else they were telling us, but I went along with it anyway. If there is one thing Catholic religion classes are good at it is telling you that you will no doubt be condemned to eternal damnation of fire and torture if you do not believe in God. I think that one was more the teacher’s doing than actually being a part of the official Things to Teach but it was still there.
I don’t think there is anything more frightening to a ten year old than being told, “Hey, kid, hope you enjoy your time with your parents and sister now because when you die you will never see them again. It was a general statement that was made by the teacher, not one that was directed at any particular individual and it was not nearly as vicious as that but at that age it comes across as pretty harsh.
I carried on the charade of belief, not wanting to disappoint anyone or even worse be thrown straight into a fiery pit upon death. But it still didn’t make sense to me. So you want me to believe that there is an invisible old guy living up in the sky who loves anyone and everyone unless you fall on some list of Really Horrible People? And I say old because that is how our CCD books always had God drawn. He was a wrinkly old man with little hair and a long, flowing white beard that looked something straight out of an Herbal Essences commercial. Believe me, in that artist’s mind God conditioned that beard of his like it was nobody’s business.
Eventually that ended as I got older and realized I just did not care anymore. I am perfectly content with just not quite getting it and leaving the whole religion thing to other people.
The whole idea of me not believing in God is like a nightmare situation for my mother though. And this is the same woman who is pretty much a Holiday Catholic. You know, one of those people who shows up at Church only around the holidays and then when she “feels” like it otherwise. The same person who says she doesn’t agree with a lot of the religion, but doesn’t grasp how someone could reject it entirely. I don’t see why it’s so ludicrous to her, but to each their own I suppose you could say.
Even when I started CCD I still didn’t “get” it. I remember being at Sunday School in the church’s school while my parents and sister were at Mass. It was okay, I suppose. We read stories and sang songs which is usually entertaining for a five or six year old…but they were always about God. Not quite as fun. The stories didn’t make sense to me either. So you’re saying an old man wrangled up two of every animal on the planet and stuck them on his boat so they would survive a flood? There were other stories that we were told too, but that one always stuck out in my mind.
As I got older and continued in my religious education, I didn’t really “get” it more and more and more. I didn’t really think I believed in God or much of anything else they were telling us, but I went along with it anyway. If there is one thing Catholic religion classes are good at it is telling you that you will no doubt be condemned to eternal damnation of fire and torture if you do not believe in God. I think that one was more the teacher’s doing than actually being a part of the official Things to Teach but it was still there.
I don’t think there is anything more frightening to a ten year old than being told, “Hey, kid, hope you enjoy your time with your parents and sister now because when you die you will never see them again. It was a general statement that was made by the teacher, not one that was directed at any particular individual and it was not nearly as vicious as that but at that age it comes across as pretty harsh.
I carried on the charade of belief, not wanting to disappoint anyone or even worse be thrown straight into a fiery pit upon death. But it still didn’t make sense to me. So you want me to believe that there is an invisible old guy living up in the sky who loves anyone and everyone unless you fall on some list of Really Horrible People? And I say old because that is how our CCD books always had God drawn. He was a wrinkly old man with little hair and a long, flowing white beard that looked something straight out of an Herbal Essences commercial. Believe me, in that artist’s mind God conditioned that beard of his like it was nobody’s business.
Eventually that ended as I got older and realized I just did not care anymore. I am perfectly content with just not quite getting it and leaving the whole religion thing to other people.
The whole idea of me not believing in God is like a nightmare situation for my mother though. And this is the same woman who is pretty much a Holiday Catholic. You know, one of those people who shows up at Church only around the holidays and then when she “feels” like it otherwise. The same person who says she doesn’t agree with a lot of the religion, but doesn’t grasp how someone could reject it entirely. I don’t see why it’s so ludicrous to her, but to each their own I suppose you could say.